TRUM: Post-karaoke-girl blues

July, 27, 2007
07/27/07
6:38
PM ET
Now I know what Chase Utley's hand feels like. It was a bad night for both us yesterday. For Chase, he's out four-to-six weeks now and honestly, if you have him in a league of any kind of depth, it might be time to start prepping for football. Buy the ESPN Draft Kit, baby!

There's just not a lot out there at second base. It's worth noting that Mark Ellis hit his 12th home run Thursday, so maybe he's an option. Ian Kinsler's coming back. I've mention that Mark Grudzielanek and Josh Wilson are playing well … but really, nothing is going to replace Utley's production.

So a painful night for the hand, Utley's owners and for me. I don't own Utley, but it was a bad night for me with TGATKG (The Girl After The Karaoke Girl).

I haven't mentioned her before since we've just been "hanging out." Her term, not mine, but we both liked it since it meant we were not boyfriend and girlfriend and it would calm both of our commitment issues.

That never works, by the way, because we were hanging out a lot for a little while there.

Anyway, so I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little bummed today. We didn't have a fight last night so much, but, I was telling her I was not happy with the way things were going and, true story, she said "Yeah, I've been acting like a witch to you for no apparent reason and I don't know why." Except she didn't say witch.

What do you say to that? I agreed with her, but it's like … what? You mean, you know you are doing it? And you have no motivation? What? No, seriously. What?

She said a few other head-scratching things that aren't appropriate for me to write here, but the bottom line is it wasn't fun and my guess is there's probably no future there. It's a shame because I thought there might be potential there, she's a great girl (last week notwithstanding) and I enjoyed her company.

Okay, there are a couple of clear takeaways here:

1. I don't know what the hell I'm doing when it comes to dating and relationships.
2. Chicks are nutty.
3. Before I get angry e-mails and ESPN Conversation (beta!) comments about this generalization, I mean chicks I date.
4. I wonder if using the word "chicks" is part of the problem?
5. Per the Bret Michaels blog of a few days ago, if I ever get my own bad reality show, it clearly needs to be a dating one. Surely there's some sort of horrific pun on "fantasy" that can be used here. And we've got seven channels here at ESPN. Can't we do one at like, 3 a.m. on one of them? As Bill Simmons would say, "This needs to happen."

Speaking of Bill, I am happy about my "BS Report" debut on his podcast. Although I played nice. I was thinking of throwing one particular person under the bus when Bill asked why I went from show business to fantasy sports, as there is one guy who really did me wrong in showbiz, but I didn't want the podcasts to get off on a total tangent.

Okay, baseball now, where I've just a bunch of quick hits from Thursday's games:

Just saying …

… That it was a combo meal night, baby! Ryan Braun, Brian Roberts and Eric Byrnes all had a home run and a stolen base.

… That Jeff Keppinger keeps worming his way into the lineup. He played shortstop for the Reds last night and went 1-for-4 with two RBIs. He's hitting .302 on the year in limited time. Deep NL-only, take note.

… That speaking of both deep NL-only and the Reds, Bobby Livingston pitched solid Thursday. There is nothing sexy there and the underlying numbers aren't great, but it was his third quality start in his last four games.

… That I am not worried about Al Reyes giving up four earned runs in mop-up duty. He may not be amazing, but he is a lot better than Gary Glover. Just rusty.

… That Mark Ellis now has 12 home runs on the season. Exciting? Maybe not to you, but ask a Chase Utley owner.

… That Jeff Weaver now has given up three earned runs or fewer in eight of his last nine starts.

… That I've pointed him out before, but it's worth noting again that even without regular playing time, Michael Bourn now has 16 stolen bases. If Pat Burrell gets dealt, watch out.

… That Brad Hennessey now has eight saves. But, you bet, go ahead and pay for saves.

… That yes, Ryan Rayburn went 0-for-4 for the Tigers Thursday, but he was batting third.

… That I want some love for Franklin Gutierrez. Come on now, that was actually a very nice call. Home run No. 7.

… That before I go too nuts, Kei Igawa got rocked. Again. Ugh. Sorry.

… That Todd Linden played center field for the Marlins and stole a base, while going 1-for-3 with two runs. A former Giants prospect, I've just always sort of liked him. He's worth a flyer in very deep NL-only leagues.

… That it was yet another great home start for Wandy Rodriguez. I've been talking about his splits so much, I don't really need to mention this, but it's a chance to say WayRod (I call him WayRod) is half of a very good pitcher.

… That Albert Pujols hit his 23rd home run of the season Thursday, while his teammate Chris Duncan hit No. 20. Why does he continue to get no respect?

… That Paul Maholm was very solid yesterday, going six innings, giving up three earned runs, six hits, one walk and striking out three. Over his past six games, Maholm is 4-2 with a 3.57 ERA.

OK, kids, I am off for the weekend. Hope you have a great one. Mine's almost here and I'm feeling better already. Sort of.

Cyberstalk the TMR

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