ESPN The TRUM Blog

I am going to attempt to have no fantasy value to this column. None whatsoever. It'll be like a written version of Barry Zito.

It won't be easy. I am guessing some will sneak in … but it will be accidental. Because this thing I write on Wednesdays is called the TRUM, which stands for Thoughts, Ramblings, Useless information and Musings, it's not designed to be chock full of fantasy goodness. If you need pure fantasy analysis, I suggest you check out our "Out of the Box" column daily. It's a one-stop shop for everything you need to know about what happened the previous night, from a fantasy perspective. And there are really good recent articles by Brendan Roberts and Christopher Harris and, for our Insiders, great stuff from Jason Grey and Eric Karabell.

Of course, you could also check any of my other columns during the week and get plenty of fantasy info, or check out Nate Ravitz and me on our Fantasy Focus podcasts Monday through Friday, or there's the Fantasy Focus video show or … you get the idea. The TRUM is for fun, and away I go.

Lots of reaction to last week's TRUM, in which I responded to questions and criticism about my Top 340 rankings. Let's dive in.

Steve (unknown): I can't believe they pay such a slob as yourself. You're a bumbling fool and you know it.

TMR: So you're saying the jacket and tie isn't fooling anyone?

Alternate response: Yes, I know it. And you know it. But ESPN doesn't. Shhhh!

Jon (San Diego): As a long-time reader, I pose this question: Is it just me, or did you react a little more snarkily than usual to the people who didn't like your rankings? I mean, hitting them for poor grammar is beneath you. They are just idiots doing what idiots do best, which is, um, being idiotic! C'mon, you can tell me, is something else bothering you?

S.C. (Midland): This is a question not only to you, but to all fantasy experts on a multitude of Web sites. Why is it that anytime a fantasy expert answers fan questions, all they do is make fun of the person and point out minor grammar mistakes? Does it make you guys feel good or something?

Ryan (Chicago): Dude, first I want to say that I liked your rankings and trust you over pretty much any other guy at ESPN. But I was disappointed in your responses in [last week's] TRUM. First, it was a day late (not a big deal, and not something as a TMR fan I have not been accustomed to). Finally, and I am sure I have some errors in this e-mail myself, but why knock on peoples' grammar? You yourself say you are thankful for your editor and that you have bad grammar. You could have come up with much better and more significant retorts. I hope next time you do. Will this re-ranking thing become an every-month thing?

TMR: I'll start with the grammar issue and say that you guys are right. After re-reading last week's TRUM, I realize I hit that joke too many times. How I usually write a mailbag TRUM is I go through my mailbag and copy and paste all the e-mails I think are interesting. Then I start ordering them in a way that I think will have some flow and be funny, ironic, interesting, what have you. Then I respond to them. And finally, I go through and see what I like best and what I don't, and I cut it down.

Last week's TRUM was different in that it was written in a few different parts. I'd get 30 minutes to write and then have to jump off to go do "First Take" or something. I'd come back, write a little more, then get dragged into some meeting, write again for a bit, get pulled away again, etc. My plan was to use the grammar joke once (I thought the "You suck. You suck. You suck." one was the funniest), but frankly I didn't re-read each time I got back to my desk, and didn't realize how many grammar jokes there were.

So I probably appeared a lot more upset than I actually was. And you're right, Jon, it is an easy joke. I just always find it amusing when folks call me an idiot or tell me they could write better, and they can't properly spell even the most common words.

As for the other writers, S.C., I can't speak to that. I rarely read anyone these days for two reasons. First, I'm in a high-profile position, and I never want to be accused of using thoughts that someone else has had, even if it seeps in unconsciously. If I don't read, that can't happen. And nothing drives me crazier than when someone steals another person's work or ideas.

Which brings me to reason No. 2: I see a lot of bad versions of Matthew Berry out there. Anyone who has read fantasy writing for a while knows that I've had this same style for basically a decade now, and I was the first to have it. When I started, almost all fantasy analysis was dry, long, without personality … whether you are a fan or a hater of my writing/analysis, you have to admit I've stayed true to myself. When I venture to other sites, I see lots of writers who haven't been able to find their own voice, so they merely try to parrot mine (or others). And sometimes their entire Web site is a copycat, too. There's one major site that we internally joke is "The Worldwide Follower" because every time we do something, a month later a version of it appears on that site.

I'm not saying I invented fantasy, or that I am great or that we haven't done things as a site that weren't original. Every fantasy analysis site has suggested waiver-wire pickups, two-start pitchers, etc. I'm talking about style and execution, and some of the more specific things. It's hard to be original in fantasy, so when you are, it drives you crazy when others are lazy. And there are lots of "lazies" in this industry.

Finally, yes, the re-ranking thing will happen every month.

Michael (Austin, Texas): Nick Johnson hit .290 last season? Where, on a softball field? Didn't he have a broken leg last year? I look forward to your next article where you mention that you won an Emmy again. How does your already-huge melon fit through doorways?

TMR: First, he's referring to my Talented Mr. Roto free-agent pickup column from last Friday. And you guys are correct. I meant Johnson's last season (2006). That was when he hit .290. And Michael, I've found that if I tilt my head sideways, I can get it through.

Evan (Philadelphia): Dude I just read your reaction to the top 340 criticism, and I laughed. A lot. I was tempted to write this with extremely bad grammar and spelling, but it seems you get enough of that already. Since we're here, though, I might as well ask a question: Which of the latest SP risers are you most up on, Justin Duchscherer or Danks? You've talked highly of both, but what's your opinion on a head-to-head matchup? Thanks.

TMR: Yes, I am high on both and mentioned them in today's podcast. Both pitched well last night, both have pitched well all season, and both are still available in a lot of leagues. I say Dukes, and it's very simple: I'd rather have a guy pitch half his games in Oakland than half in U.S. Cellular; I'd rather face the AL West more often than the AL Central; and Dukes has more experience at the major league level (albeit most of it as a reliever).

The other funny thing about the grammar responses is that I wasn't much better on the grammar myself. Check it out:

Tony (Columbus, Ohio): You do realize that "interabang" [sic] is actually spelled "interrobang," don't you?! (preceding interrobang used for dramatic effect)

TMR: I do now. And I stand by my assertion that "Interrobang!?" would be a great name for a band.

Snake Doctor (Raleigh, N.C.): It's a shame that people are the way they are, and a double-shame that the anonymity of the internet makes them worse. A guy tries to write a prescient if semi-controversial column, and then dozens, or even hundreds, of jackasses attack him for expressing an opinion. There's a place for that in a civilized world, but it's called politics. David Luciani of Baseball Notebook nearly gave up baseball writing a year or two ago when the hate e-mails became too personal, too hateful, too venomous. After awhile, he reconsidered. I hope it doesn't go nearly that far with you. Dude, you're not always right (and who is?), but you are always interesting. Sure, you overdo that Anne Hathaway stuff a bit, but the fantasy baseball insights are fun, and for me at least, informative. Don't let 'em get to you. Hang in there, and give as good as you get.

TMR: Appreciate the kind words, but the day I stop getting hate mail is the day I no longer have a career.

Jack (Boston): Hey, Un-talented, I really try to avoid anything about you. In print, Web sites, TV shows … if you're in it, I'm not. But when I saw your column "Rankings aren't always right" I had to jump in. I wanted to see you finally admit that all the BS that falls out of your face was not "always right." I actually had to laugh when it became clear that you were not admitting to anything. "I hate Steven Jackson" from two years ago was the moment I stopped listening/reading you. You cater to only one group  newbies who have never played fantasy sports before. You throw out 80 crappy thoughts, maybe two or three stick, and you claim to be "Talented" Mr. Roto. I play with about 16 other buddies, and you always come out as the butt of our jokes. You are easily the most idiotic fantasy "expert" I have ever heard of, man. Why did I bother even taking the time to write this? I'm bored, and after two years I finally wanted to let you know what a clown you are in this industry. You might be a good guy, but you bring very little to the table as a fantasy sports guy. PS. Megan Fox - not even close, man! But this just proves what a clown you really are.

TMR: See what I mean? For what it's worth, Jack, it doesn't seem like you've done a very good job of avoiding me the past two years.

JP (Atlanta): Hey Matt, first off, who's your favorite over-40 lady? Mine's Catherine Zeta-Jones. She needs to drop that bag of bones [Michael Douglas] and get with some young blood. Secondly, I play in an NL-only 10-team league, and I once again managed to neglect the catcher position in my draft. Rank these catchers for me for the rest of the season: Carlos Ruiz, J.R. Towles, Brian Schneider, Yorvit Torrealba, Miguel Montero. Finally, I also still can't believe that [Fantasy Focus podcast producer] Pod Vader traded Cole Hamels for that dude from the Angels.

TMR: Yeah, Catherine Zeta-Jones, hands down. Disagree? Just watch "Zorro." I rank Yorvit ahead of Schneider, but otherwise, you have the order correct. Really like Ruiz as a sleeper in the second half.

Gray (Portland): Are you sure that's your dad? He has a lot more hair than you do.

TMR: Yeah, I got a lot of comments like this in reference to the picture I posted of my dad in my April 28 column. It's so frustrating. I am not only losing my hair, but I'm going prematurely gray. (I actually have to dye what little of it I have because I am so vain. Please see "head, melon-sized.") But he's my pop all right.

Dave (New York): Six quality starts in seven tries for John Danks? Check again, fool. He only has four.

TMR: Yep. He now has five after last night. I meant to say he has six games in which he has given up two earned runs or fewer, but yes, two of those six he did not go six innings.

Philip (Chicago): Why do you call Dice-K the silent WHIP killer all the time? His WHIP last year was a respectable 1.32. His K per nine rate is decent, and he plays for a good team and gets a lot of chances at wins. If anything, he's an ERA killer based on last year's full season.

TMR: Yes, but last year after the All-Star break, his WHIP was 1.45. He has given up four or more walks in eight games this year. He has 30 walks compared to 40 strikeouts this year. He'll get wins and strikeouts, no doubt, but he won't return the value of an elite No. 1 fantasy starter or what you had to pay to get him (auction or high draft pick).

Mike (West Babylon, N.Y.): Berry, reading your articles makes me sick! You are the biggest, arrogant, self-absorbed person I've ever come across. In my opinion, you used to be different when you weren't so popular. Granted, I value the information you provide. However, now you won this Emmy and have a bigger role in the ESPN fantasy world, you let it get to your head! You should value your readers' opinions and work past them. They are opinions! Your job is to write articles, work chat rooms and answer readers' e-mails, not belittle your readers and their opinions. Your readers are the reason you have your job. Granted, you can't appease everyone, but criticism is part of your job. Take it like a man, not a little girl. When you write like that, you sound like a little kid, not a true professional (which is why we read your articles).

TMR: I'd rather be a little kid than a true professional any day of the week. I consider this a compliment.

Matthew Berry -- The Talented Mr. Roto -- is ESPN's senior director of fantasy. He was just as surprised as you to find out it's a real job. He is a multiple award winner from the Fantasy Sports Writers Association, including a Writer of the Year award. He has been playing fantasy sports for more than 20 years, writing about it professionally for more than 10. He currently appears on or in ESPN, ESPN2, ESPNEWS, ESPN the Magazine, ESPN.com, ESPN Mobile TV and, as soon as he learns to say "ground-ball/fly-ball ratio" in Spanish, ESPN Deportes.

Cyberstalk the TMR | Be his cyberfriend