STRIKE ONE -- NOSE TACKLE AT SHORTSTOP DEPT.: I'm sitting in the press box in Lakeland, Fla. I'm looking at the travel roster for the New York Yankees.
The Yankees, as you probably heard someplace, are famous for all their uniform numbers in the single digits. But not on this day, they're not.
Apparently, Ruth, Gehrig and DiMaggio are all off at the World Baseball Classic, because the numbers I'm perusing are practically in TRIPLE digits.
There's your starting shortstop -- No. 90, Ramiro Pena. There's reliever Alfredo Aceves, No. 91 in your program. And there's backup infielder Eduardo Nunez, wearing Shaun Ellis' No. 92.
All in all, the Yankees brought along SEVEN players with numbers in the 80s and 90s. And that's only because Kanekoa Texeira (No. 94) and P.J. Pilittere (No. 86) didn't make the trip.
So welcome, friends, to the wonderful, WBC-ravaged world of spring training 2009, where, in the words of Tigers coach-humorist Andy Van Slyke, "we've got a lot of offensive linemen out there."
And not just in this game, either. Monday in Bradenton, the Red Sox brought a lineup to play the Pirates that featured Josh Bard hitting third, Jeff Bailey hitting cleanup and no position players on the field who had ever spent a full season with the Red Sox.
In fact, even a program wouldn't have helped you identify the pitcher who got the save in that game -- No. 83, Blake Maxwell -- since he wasn't even IN the program.
"If people see this lineup on the road," said Red Sox manager Terry Francona, "I just want them to know it's basically been like that at home, too."
Not that he's had any choice, by the way. His first baseman, second baseman, left fielder and DH have all been off at the WBC. And his third baseman and right fielder have been hurt pretty much all spring. So what's a manager supposed to do?
"I can't bring [Jacoby] Ellsbury on EVERY road trip," Francona alibied.
And unlike in non-WBC springs, nobody is forcing him to, either. The usual rules about sending "representative" lineups to all spring-training road games have been flushed down the disposal during the WBC portion of this spring. So I made a list of some of the hitters who have been spotted occupying the middle of the order just this week:
CLEANUP HITTERS -- Jake Fox (Cubs), Jesus Guzman (Giants), Geoff Blum (Astros), Ramon Castro (Mets), Mike Hessman (Tigers) and Nick Evans (Mets).
NO. 3 HITTERS -- Rob Mackowiak (Mets), Micah Hoffpauir (Cubs), Jose Valentin (Mets), Shane Costa (Royals) and Wes Helms (Marlins).
No disrespect to any of those fellows, obviously. But they're not going to be confused with David Wright or Miguel Cabrera, either.
Speaking of Cabrera, his team -- the Tigers -- has been as gutted by the WBC as any you'll find. The Tigers' first baseman (Cabrera) and entire starting outfield (Magglio Ordonez, Curtis Granderson and Carlos Guillen) are all WBC-ing it up. And it's caused manager Jim Leyland to do more creative writing (on his lineup card) than Stephen King.
"I really like our team, but right now we don't have our team," Leyland said. "And our record is paying for it. We're getting our [butt] kicked."
Leyland has said all the right things about the WBC and keeps saying them. He likes it, he said. He supports it, he said. But …
"It's definitely not quite the same right now," the manager said. "I mean, you make the best out of it, but it's not the same. We've got so much involved with our pitching (decisions) that it's kept it very, very interesting. And it keeps you on your toes every day.
"But I'd be lying if I said it was the same without seeing Cabrera here, and Guillen and Ordonez and Grandy. I mean, it's just different. I'm sorry, but it is."
Jim Leyland isn't looking for sympathy. But he deserves some. This is a pivotal year in the life of his team. It's the last year of his contract. And he can't even put his Nos. 1, 3, 4 and 6 hitters on the field.
It's not real fair to him or his team. And it's not real fair to the customers being charged full price to come see teams masquerading as the Tigers or Red Sox or Mets.
But as long as Bud Selig and the powers that be are determined to hold the WBC in March, this is the way it is. And this is the way it will be. And if you don't like it, well, just be happy you know how to count up to 90.
STRIKE TWO -- WHAT WERE THE ODDS DEPT.: They're undoubtedly dancing in the streets in Amsterdam at the moment. But you, too, could have been dancing in your street if you'd laid any money -- Dutch or American -- on Team Netherlands to be still playing baseball right now.
According to our friends at Bodog, the Netherlands was a 200-to-1 shot to win the WBC a week ago, a 100-to-1 shot to win its pool and a 50-to-1 shot just to advance.. You could have gotten way better odds on Panama (50-to-1) or Chinese Tapei (55-to-1) to win this event than the Dutchmen. And NO team was a longer shot to win its pool than Al Holland's favorite team.
But Richard Gardner, the Bodog Sportsbook manager, reports that there was very little action on the Netherlands, even at 200-to-1, and much more action on Panama to take Pool D. Shocking!
Even more shocking, Bodog posted no odds on Eugene Kingsale winning the WBC MVP award -- or even on everybody's favorite Team Netherlands marquis attraction, Sidney Ponson. The only Dutchman on the board: Rick VandenHurk, at 500-to-1.
There were odds on Stubby Clapp (250-to-1). There were odds on Jason Grilli (500-to-1). There were odds on Travis Blackley (500-to-1). There were even odds on a guy who went 0-for-6, with three strikeouts -- China's Yufeng Zhang (750-to-1).
But no Sidney on that MVP board? No Eugene Kingsale? No Randall Simon? It's almost enough to destroy your faith in the integrity of online wagering. Isn't it?
STRIKE THREE -- BOX SCORE LINE OF THE SPRING DEPT.: We have a winner. First pitcher this spring to give up 10 runs in a game? It's Texas' Kevin Millwood, on Monday against the Dodgers. Here goes:
3 IP, 12 H, 10 R, 10 ER, 2 BB, 1 K, 2 doubles, 1 triple, 21 hitters faced, 14 reached base.
And two of the nine outs he got consisted of a James Loney rocket up the middle that caromed off Millwood's hand right to Omar Vizquel, who turned it into a double play.
What makes these wild box-score lines this time of year so memorable, though, is the tossing out of the traditional no-big-deal-it's-spring-frigging-training postgame spin. So manager Ron Washington couldn't possibly have been more willing or ready to deliver the good news that the outside world clearly wasn't aware of:
"The big key to that," Washington told MLB.com's Jesse Sanchez, "is he got his three innings in, he got his pitch count up, and he's ready to push it a little further the next time he goes out there."
So remember that, kids: The heck with the old ERA (which would be 11.25, if we were keeping track). It's all about building that pitch count -- as long as there's a cactus or a palm tree within 50 yards of the ballpark.
Jayson Stark
