Any time a pitcher bats in the three-hole, there's a balk trifecta and all nine hitters in one lineup turn into closers of a whole different kind, you know it's officially our kind of weekend here at the Useless Information Department. So let's take a look back at one of the craziest weekends of the year:
WHO NEEDS THE STINKING DH DEPT.
And now your No. 3 hitters for the five AL East teams on Sunday:
Mark Teixeira … Jason Bay … Nick Markakis … Alex Rios … and (who else?) Andy Sonnanstine.
If just reading that sentence doesn't make you love baseball just a little bit more than you did five minutes ago, let me announce something here: You're reading the wrong blog!
Try to imagine anything like this happening in, say, an NFL game -- a place-kicker starting at quarterback, for instance -- and tell me baseball isn't the most fun sport ever invented.
OK, now back to the action. If you haven't heard about the insanity that ensued in Tampa Bay that led to a starting pitcher (Sonnanstine) batting third for the Rays on Sunday, let my friend Marc Topkin explain it to you.
Make sense yet? Heck, of course not. Remember, it took the umpires 13 minutes just to figure this out. But whatever, it happened. So now it's up to us useless infomaniacs to try to put this all in perspective:
• Sonnanstine was the first starting pitcher to find himself batting anywhere in an American League lineup since Ken (brother of George) Brett hit eighth for the White Sox on Sept. 23, 1976, according to the Elias Sports Bureau.
• Sonnanstine was also the first AL starting pitcher to bat higher than eighth since Cesar Tovar hit leadoff for the Twins on Sept. 22, 1968, in an asterisk-special kind of game in which his actual mission was not to pitch, but to play all nine positions.
• So since Tovar wasn't really a pitcher, Sonnanstine was the first AL starting pitcher to bat higher than seventh in the non-asterisk division since Gary Peters did it for the White Sox on May 26, 1968.
• And just so you know, the only other AL pitchers to bat higher than eighth in a starting lineup over the past 55 years, according to baseball-reference.com's fabulous Play Index, were Don Larsen (three times) for the Yankees in 1957, Bob Lemon for the Indians (once) in 1957, Tommy Byrne (three times) for the Yankees in 1955 and Mickey McDermott (10 times) for the Senators in 1954.
• Ah, but this story doesn't stop there, because Sonnanstine didn't merely fill lineup space Sunday. He actually got a hit out of that No. 3 hole -- an RBI double yet. Which means that somehow, Andy Sonnanstine hit a double this year before Rocco Baldelli or Vladimir Guerrero. How crazed is that?
• So who was the last AL pitcher to thump an RBI double in a noninterleague game? It was John Wetteland -- of course. Wetteland doubled in a run against Ramiro Mendoza, in a wild Rangers-Yankees game back on Aug. 16, 1997.
• And who was the last AL starting pitcher to hit an RBI double in a noninterleague game? Bert Blyleven, who doubled off Dan Neumeier on Oct. 4, 1972, the final day of the pre-DH era.
• Finally, you need to know that there has been only one other AL pitcher of any size or shape to drive in a run in a noninterleague game in the DH era (pinch-hitter pitchers not included). That was Texas reliever Mike Jeffcoat, who also whacked an RBI double, off Brewers reliever Edwin Nunez, on Aug. 2, 1991.
Whew. Got all that? Good, because there's a quiz in the morning.
BALK-A-THON DEPT.
Right here on ESPN's "Sunday Night Baseball," the Mets' Mike Pelfrey balked three times in one game Sunday. He was the first pitcher to balk three times in any game since Al Leiter did it on April 23, 1994 -- but the first right-hander to do it since the Padres' Tim Layana hit that same trifecta on April 18, 1990. Incredibly, Pelfrey committed all three balks without ever making a move to first.
THAT'S A WRAP DEPT.
Mariners public-relations genius Tim Hevly passed along one of the all-time nutty feats, which was first detected by Seattle bench coach Ty Van Burkleo during the Mariners' game Friday with the Red Sox:
All nine hitters in the Boston lineup ended an inning -- in a nine-inning game. I'm not sure what the odds of that were. But there's a name for that sort of thing: "Baseball bingo," Van Burkleo said. And he claims it's "more rare than a no-hitter."
In fact, it has to be way more rare. Retrosheet founder Dave Smith and his favorite hard drive are looking into this as we speak. So I'll update this blog as soon as he reports back.
DON'T FOLLOW THE LEADER DEPT.
As loyal reader Max Goldman points out, Cristian Guzman is no Jamie Moyer. So what does that mean, you ask. Well, it means that Moyer has somehow walked five times this season already -- while Guzman extended his personal streak of not walking at all over the weekend, to 25 games and 119 plate appearances.
So what's the big deal about Guzman not walking? Well, he only happens to be leading the league in hitting (at .381) -- in a season in which he hasn't walked once. And friends, that's tough to do.
• The highest average by any player in history who batted at least 100 times in a season and didn't walk at all was slightly lower than .381 -- as in .255, by Tom (Hacking Man) Cary in 1877 (274 AB, 0 walks).
• The fewest walks by any batting champ in the live-ball era: 24, by Matty Alou (.342) in 1966 and Andres Galarraga (.370) in 1993.
• And besides those two, there have been only four other batting champions in the live-ball era who failed to walk at least 30 times in a full season, according to Lee Sinins' Complete Baseball Encyclopedia: Tommy Davis (29) in 1963, Tony Oliva (25) in 1971, Ralph Garr (28) in 1974 and Willie Wilson (26) in 1982. But come to think of it, it's amazing there were even that many. Isn't that a felony violation of the Laws of Moneyball?
MORE WEEKEND WACKINESS
In other news …
• Friday's Rays-Indians game featured a home run by the first hitter of the game (Grady Sizemore) and a walk-off by the last hitter of the game (B.J. Upton). Believe it or not -- according to the Sultan of Swat Stats, SABR's David Vincent -- there was only one AL game with both leadoff and walk-off bombs last year (Aug. 6), and it involved the same two teams in the same ballpark. Franklin Gutierrez hit the leadoff shot that day. And Carlos Pena hit the walk-off.
• Another Sultan gem: For the second time in his life, Justin Morneau had a multihomer game on his birthday, on Saturday. A bunch of players have had two multihomer games on their birthday. But Morneau will have to do more than blow out the candles one more time to tie the record -- which is three birthday multitrot games, by Nomar Garciaparra.
• Nick Hundley hit a 16th-inning walk-off homer to finish off Saturday's five-hour Padres-Reds game. ESPN walk-off guru Mark Simon reports that, amazingly, the last three walk-off homers in the 16th inning or later have all been hit against the Reds -- by Hundley, Adrian Gonzalez (in the 18th last year) and Ramon Martinez (in the 16th, on Aug. 29, 2006).
• Simon also reports that only one other Padre besides Hundley and Gonzalez has ever hit a home run in the 16th inning or later. That was Mark Parent, on Sept. 28, 1988. But there's an excellent chance that isn't what you remember about that game -- since many innings earlier that night, Orel Hershiser broke Don Drysdale's fabled record for most consecutive shutout innings.
• From our Name Game Dept.: We had a Santiago homer off a Santiago on Sunday -- Ramon Santiago (Tigers) off Santiago Casilla (A's). And yep, it's the first multiple-Santiago homer in baseball history.
• And Padres Name Game fans Warren Miller and Jeff Praught pass along this nugget: Padres rookie pitcher Greg Burke got the first hitter he ever faced in the big leagues to ground out to another Burke (Chris).
• The Braves managed to "hit" into a double play Saturday without a ball being put in play (1-3-6-5 in your scorecard). How? Chipper Jones got picked off first. Then Yunel Escobar got caught off third.
• As you no doubt heard, John Lackey got ejected two pitches into his first start of the season Saturday -- for drilling Ian Kinsler. According to Elias, Lackey is only the third starting pitcher in the live-ball era to hit the first batter he faced and promptly get gonged for the rest of the game. The others: Scott Elarton (hit Rey Sanchez on July 8, 2001) and Bob Shaw (nailed Felipe Alou on July 24, 1965).
• How bizarre is baseball? Brad Lidge gave up an earned run in six straight trips to the mound this year -- before he finally ended that streak Saturday. Last year, it took him 18 appearances to give up any earned runs, and he gave up an earned run in only six of his first 42 appearances.
• Finally, the Tigers have won all six games they've played on Sundays this year. And that's a phenomenon people in Detroit might not be too familiar with -- considering the Lions have won once on their last 22 Sundays.
Jayson Stark
