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'Soft' landing for the HR king

Updated: March 4, 2009, 9:26 PM ET
By Gene Wojciechowski | ESPN.com

Company softball season is right around the corner, so I'm sitting here enjoying a cool, refreshing injection of flaxseed oil while applying an invigorating coat of arthritic balm to my shoulders, chest and cranium -- you know, just like my hero Barry Bonds.

And just like my hero, I have a day-planner calendar detailing my pre-softball season regimen -- all in consultation with my personal trainer, who just happens to be my best friend.

For example:

March 1: Call Flaxseed ...

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