Barr turned cancer battle into new swimming career
- He said, "Someday I hope you get the chance to live like you were dying."
-- Tim McGraw, "Live Like You Were Dying."
SAN LUIS OBISPO, Calif. -- No one would call it a blessing. It isn't a blessing. Mark Barr won't hand an honorific like that to a sinister thing like cancer, a crazy, incomprehensible thing, a thing that tries to kill its own host, that tried to take him down for a death roll when he was a 14-year-old kid, exacting one of Barr's legs as the toll before it finally released its grip.
But then Barr speaks of the angel at his bedside, the one he woke up to on the day of his amputation. He speaks of the high school coach who rescued a cancer victim by figuratively throwing his fears in the pool. He speaks of the friends who stood tall while he limped, then hopped, then dog-paddled and then -- well, then became an Paralympian. He speaks of the places he has been, the edges he has shaved off the corners of the world: Athens. Beijing. South Africa and South America. Barr has stood with presidents, touched the lives of young people, chatted with global stars. He is a mountain biker, a skier, a student and coach, a Paralympic record-setter. He lives, at age 22, in a constant state of forward motion. He can't wait for what comes next. He may even start going into hospitals again, this time as an angel himself. "In one sense, cancer was really awful," Barr says. "But at the same time, it has opened so many doors. It has given me an opportunity to show who I am and what I'm about, and it's taken me all the way around the world." He falls silent for a moment, thinking about what he wants to say. But he doesn't hesitate with the words. "Really," he says, "it has almost been a positive in my life." That much would certainly beat the odds.Cancer came into Mark Barr's life in the manner that Hemingway once described a man going broke: gradually and then suddenly. It was first a simple tightness in the right knee, an annoyance that for weeks limited his lateral movement in his chosen sports of soccer and baseball. Then it got worse; and then Barr awoke one morning with a lump on top of the bone around the knee joint itself; and not long after, Barr sat in a doctor's office and heard the man mumble the word "cancer" into a voice recorder while he gazed at a set of X-rays.

In his early years, Barr had shown a prodigious talent in the pool; he was recording nationally recognized times in swim meets by age 10. By the time of his cancer diagnosis, though, Barr had all but given up the sport and its grueling training regimen in favor of baseball and soccer.
But his swim coaches hadn't forgotten him. When Barr faced amputation in the fall of his sophomore year, Pete Motekaitis, the Davis High School coach who has worked with such talents as Olympian Haley Cope and Stanford All-American Keenan Newman, approached Barr's father. "Pete isn't one who normally has a lot to say to the parents of his athletes," Bradd Barr says. "But I was watching one of my other sons play water polo, and Pete came up to me on the pool deck and put his arm around me and said, 'We're gonna get Mark back in the pool. We're gonna make this happen.'" It was a fateful turn of events. Motekaitis, now the UC Davis coach, did welcome Barr back in the water in 2002, after Barr had completed his full chemotherapy and been cleared to try sports. But the coach took the favor one step further: He flatly refused to cut Barr any slack. "It was a conscious decision, and it really did become something special," says Motekaitis, himself the father of a developmentally disabled son. "You worry about what they can do, not what they can't do." The approach clicked almost immediately. Motekaitis rode Barr hard in the pool, demanding his absolute best and giving him no excuses for bad performances. At the same time, Barr's teammates relaxed around him, realizing that if their coach was going to treat him as nothing more than a member of the team, they could, too. "One morning we were all in the weight room and Pete goes, 'Barr, you're pretty good-looking,' and I go, 'Thanks, Pete. That's kind of weird,'" Barr says with a chuckle. "The next day he goes, 'Barr, I'm not going to give you any special treatment. I'm going to call you Ugly.' And so that stuck. Ever since my junior year, he would just shout it across the pool deck: 'Hey, Ugly!' And I shout it back at him."
At Cal Poly San Luis Obispo, where Barr competed as a Division I swimmer the past several years, he is completing his degree in Nutrition Science. He spends time during the summer in his hometown of Davis, working with the swimmers who flood the AquaMonsters youth program also run by Motekaitis and his wife, Koren, a former NCAA champion.
He often speaks to groups about his survival of cancer, and its effect of actually enhancing his outlook on life. As Bradd Barr says, "Mark has a perspective about life that I wish I had. He often talks about the idea that you only live once. There's a maturity there that other people just don't have." Now Barr sees himself becoming a nurse practitioner and going into the field of pediatric oncology, working with children dealing with cancer. The irony, says his father, is that after his own treatment and surgery, Mark had an almost physical repulsion to walking into a hospital again. "But I feel I could have a great effect on others going through this," Barr says. "I feel like I already have the credibility in the field." It is a credibility hard-won, the result of life itself. The cancer was never a blessing, no. But blessings do emerge, in their own time. Mark Kreidler's book "Six Good Innings", about the pressure of upholding a small-town Little League legacy, is in national release. His book "Four Days to Glory" has been optioned for film/TV development by ESPN Original Entertainment. A regular contributor to ESPN.com, Kreidler can be reached at www.markkreidler.com.
