Help me help LeBron James
The best group nicknames in sports stick with you long after the group's accomplishments are dust:
Murderers' Row (New York Yankees, 1920s).
Phi Slama Jama (University of Houston hoops, 1980s).
Purple People Eaters (Minnesota Vikings' defensive line, 1970s).
Millions in T-shirt sales, bumper stickers and vuvuzela concessions await the person who nails this one.
But the problem with the three superstars who will play for the Miami Heat this season -- LeBron James, Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh -- is that although they've been called a lot of names, they don't have a nickname yet. Like a wet Post-it note, nothing seems to stick. Millions in T-shirt sales, bumper stickers and vuvuzela concessions await the person who nails this one.
And so, I humbly offer up:
• The Miami Threet
• The Three Rise Men
• Three Men and a Riley
• The Three A-ME-gos
• Strike Three
and, for you Cleveland fans
• Earth, Wind and Liar
Nothin'? OK, try these that are going around:
• Miami Thrice
• Dough Time (from Brian Morris, Hermosa Beach, Calif.)
• Run DLC
• Tres Reyes (Three Kings in Spanish)
• The Three Basketeers (first applied to, and unused by, the current Celtics troika)
• The King and his Court
• Triple Bypass (from Adam Watson, ESPN.com)
• The Brothers Rim (from Gene Wojciechowski, ESPN.com)
• The Unforgiven (from a Cleveland fan)
• Terminators 3
• Snap, Crackle and Pop (Pop is for Wade's recent hamstring injury)
"I'm just going to call them 'The Big Three,'" says TNT's Marv Albert, who will be taking plenty of Heat this season. "Nobody wants to hear something cute for three hours."
But what if it's not cute? What if it actually sticks and makes things easier on announcers, headline writers and bumper sticker companies? Pat Summerall never said, "Great blocking there by Russ Grimm, Mark May, Joe Jacoby, George Starke and Jeff Bostic." No, he said, "Great blocking there by The Hogs."
We need something.
Hothothoops.com came up with some decent possibilities:
• The Superfriends (personal favorite)
• 3 Live Crew
• Fahrenheit 316 (their jersey numbers)
• The Beach Boys
• Tri Slamma Jamma (strong)
• The Three-Headed Lebronster
Really? Still nothing?
OK, if you can do better, send your ideas here and, if they're really good, your trademark attorney's phone number.
Trey Bien?P.S.: Don't need any help with a nickname for Moss, Peterson and Favre: The Tri-Kings.
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LIFE OF REILLY
RICK REILLY, 52, has been voted National Sportswriter of the Year 11 times. His latest book is called "Sports From Hell: My Two-year Search for the World's Dumbest Competition." A finalist for the 2011 Thurber Prize for Humor, it's the account of his search for the dumbest sport in the world.
Not to give anything away, but a good bet would be either Ferret Legging or Chess Boxing. It also includes embarrassing attempts by Reilly to try Nude Bicycle Racing, Zorbing, Extreme Ironing, the World Rock Paper Scissors Championships and an unfortunate week on a women's pro football team.