… BUT THEY DON'T PLAY LIKE DOGS

It turns out that Leona Helmsley willed a $12 million trust fund to her dog, Trouble.

Never mind whether this is a good, bad or indifferent thing … we just had to figure out what kind of baseball team this pooch could bankroll.

OF -- Curtis Granderson, Tigers: .290 BA /.349 OBP/.538 SLG, 17 HRs, 63 RBIs … Salary: $410,000
OF -- Matt Stairs, Blue Jays: .298/.373/.577, 17 HRs, 48 RBIs … Salary: $850,000
OF -- Brad Hawpe, Rockies: .283/.379/.540, 25 HRs, 88 RBIs … Salary: $403,000
1B -- Dmitri Young, Nationals: .337/.389/.521, 13 HRs, 71 RBIs … Salary: $500,000
2B -- Brandon Phillips, Reds: .287/.329/.490, 26 HRs, 79 RBIs … Salary: $407,500
SS -- Hanley Ramirez, Marlins: .331/.388/.557, 23 HRs, 65 RBIs … Salary: $402,000
3B -- Ryan Braun, Brewers: .332/.376/.641, 25 HRs, 68 RBIs … Salary: $380,000
C -- Russell Martin, Dodgers: .299/.381/.481, 17 HRs, 77 RBIs … Salary: $387,500
SP -- Fausto Carmona, Indians: 14-8, 3.16 ERA, 106 K, 46 BB … Salary: $387,500
SP -- Chris Young, Padres: 9-4, 2.12 ERA, 130 K, 48 BB … Salary: $600,000
SP -- Jeremy Guthrie, Orioles: 7-4, 3.46 ERA, 104 K, 37 BB … Salary: $380,000
SP -- Cole Hamels, Phillies: 14-5, 3.50 ERA, 156 K, 39 BB … Salary: $400,000
SP -- John Maine, Mets: 13-8, 3.68 ERA, 136 K, 60 BB … Salary: $391,000
RP -- Jonathan Papelbon, Red Sox: 30 saves, 1.74 ERA, 71 K, 14 BB … Salary: $425,500

Total salary for our team: $6,324,000. So there you have it. If Leona Helmsley's dog owned a major league team, it could probably win the NL Central and still have plenty of leftover cash.

SHUT UP SOX FANS!

Jim Caple, esteemed Yankee hater, has a message for Red Sox fans. You're now the most obnoxious fans in sports. Enough already. Story
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