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Imaginary girlfriends:
Newest eBay sensation: Basically, all the calls, IMs and emails of a real g/f -- without the sex. *Wow: Sign me up!* (See last item.)
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The Lead Item
Two Words For You:
BUZZ. OFF.
How to solve this Super Bowl buzzlessness
epidemic?
Thursday is the ultimate nadir: Tomorrow, we're
all fully focused on the game; but for today, we're
stuck with the "SO-SO" (Same Old-Same Old) clichéd
storylines, from players and coaches too disciplined
(or savvy) to spout anything provocative.
Solution: Add some buzz (literally) -- the
"three-drink minimum" press conference, as
proposed by Quickie reader Jason S. Brilliant: Nothing
brings out the honesty like a shot of liquid courage:
He Hate Me: "Good grief: It's only a nickname,
people."
Fox: "Seriously, I don't know how we made it here."
Belichick: "Coaching duel? PLEASE."
Delhomme: "Oh yeah? Trent Dilfer has a
ring!"
Brady: "That's right: I AM the next Joe
Montana!"
Shaq Back
"It's a little sore, but I'm cool."
Shaq's only comment following his ginger return, an
18-minute run (7 pts, 5 reb) that probably was less
work than taping his Crunch bar commercial. See, that
"sore" part? That's what we'll be keeping an eye
on.
Majerus Hospitalized
On the sports world's "All-Interview"
First-Team for the 1990s, Utah hoops coach Rick
Majerus deserves full support after he resigns at the
end of this season due to health problems.
Three suggestions, once he's healthy:
(1) Tap his skills:
Put him in charge of "player development" in the NBA
D-League.
(2) Give him a goal:
Let him take over coaching Olympic men's hoops after
Athens.
(3) Then there's cash:
Cuban can dump Don Nelson and hire Majerus, at what
Donald Trump might call a "yuuuge salary."
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BUSY? READ THIS NOW; BOOKMARK QUICKIE FOR LATER |
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| TODAY'S THREE HOTTEST STORIES |
1 SB: After a week of fluff, talk finally turns to game
2 Shaq back: VERY limited action; Mashburn returns too
3 NBA All-Star starters: Tyranny of Vince Carter continues |
| THREE STORIES YOU SHOULD JUST LET GO |
1 Leonsis: 100K fine, 1 wk susp; many will say not enough
2 Gary Sheffield to 3rd base: Yankees sign Tyler Houston
3 Dean campaign "genius" Joe Trippi: Tell it to the blogs |
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Pudge to Tigers?
Catcher Pudge Rodriguez is very close
to a deal with the Tigers that will bring him 40
million reasons to not care about the resulting career oblivion.
However: If Pudge can lead the Tigers even to
.500 (let alone the play--...wait, just stop with
.500), that should lock him in for Hall of Fame
status.
NBA All-Stars
Starters announced today:
East
Deserving: Ben, JO, T-Mac, AI
Undeserving: Vince Carter
Worthier: Baron Davis
Injury Sub: LeBron for AI?
West
Deserving: KG, Duncan
Undeserving: Kobe, Franchise
Worthier: Peja, Carmelo
Down to wire: Shaq vs. Yao
Reserves announced/debated next Tuesday.
Celtics Lose Anyway
New Celtics coach John Carroll called
last night's loss to Detroit "one of the most
enjoyable nights I've had as a basketball coach." Nice
to see he doesn't let something pesky -- like winning
-- affect his sunny outlook.
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Imaginary Girlfriends
Case Study on How Buzz Works:
* Uber-trend-spot blog Gawker posts item
yesterday on the latest eBay madness, "imaginary
girlfriends."
* Picked up in well-read tabs (like today's NY
Post), among the sources of choice for other news orgs
(not to mention talk radio). "Mike and Mike" are all
over it; Around the Horn and PTI weigh
in on it.
* By tomorrow, everyone's talking about it.
(Craig's List has a 1,000 postings for "imaginary
boyfriends.")
*Monday, there's a reality-TV series in
development.
*By Valentine's Day, people realize that an IM
won't help you when you're watching "Seinfeld" alone
on the couch at 11 p.m. on a Saturday night.
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Dean campaign manager
Joe Trippi:
Actually EX-manager, after Dean gave him the boot. Campaign apparently decides to go w/ "NBA Eastern Conference coaching" strategy.
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Today on ESPN.com
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| P2: Simmons' Super Blog |
| NBA: Stein's All-Star ballot |
| NFL: Kiper's latest Big Board |
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| Top 5 Free Agents Still Out There |  Pudge Rodriguez
| Selling his soul to Tigers?
|  Greg Maddux
| Wants big $, but it's not 1994
|  Ugueth Urbina
| Gun incident hurts value
|  Fred McGriff
| A crime he hasn't signed
|  Travis Lee
| | Career underachiever |
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He wouldn't have won anyway: LeBron says his ankle
will keep him out of the All-Star dunk contest. How
about making him a judge? ...
More NBA returns: Jamal Mashburn scored Hornets' final
13 points (of team-high 24) in a one-point W over the
Bucks ...
Quick way to turn U.S. viewers off Aussie Open: a
Clijsters/Henin-Hardenne women's final; Agassi ousted
in semis by Safin ...
Last night's career concussion No. 8 is probably a few
more than Eric Lindros should need to call it a
career ...
As we celebrate all-time great NFL nicknames ("He Hate
Me"), a moment of reflection on the passing of Elroy
"Crazy Legs" Hirsch ...
Apparently, gender-bending is no longer a problem in
sports; the Int'l Volleyball Fed became last global
org to stop testing for it ...
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