May 2, 2005
Greenies:
Forget the upgraded "50-100-Out" MLB roid-punishment plan. The jaw-dropper is the proposed ban on amphetamines. What: They'll ban EVERYONE?
 
 
 
The Lead Item
Two Words For You:
SWEEP.  SPOT.

"Heat-Suns" Finals: How do you like the sound of that?

If there's any title series to "save" the NBA, it's the league's largest superstar (and best sidekick) versus its most telegenic team.

And, based on the way Miami and Phoenix swept out their first-round opponents Sunday, that's where we're headed.

Heat bruising, Suns cruising: The styles may be a contrast, but the results are the same.

Heat-Suns Finals predictions are far less outrageous than the fact we're going to wait another week for the 4/5 series to end ...

... Even though the semis will, by all evidence, be just as broom-worthy as the first round.

Do we really have to wait five or six more weeks for what fans hope is the inevitable?

NBA: Almost Over
"Playoff basketball you don't play in skirts" was Nate Mac's reply to Adelman's pregame griping about Seattle's grabbing. Then Seattle went out and took a 3-1 lead on Sacto, rallying from 12-point halftime deficit behind Ray Allen's 45 points.

Aside from Nate's regrettable misogyny, "No skirts!" nicely describes the other 3-1 series: The Pistons over the Sixers. Back in Detroit tomorrow, it's as good as over.

NBA: Still Wide Open!
Tonight is huge:

Near-Must-Win: Wizards down 2-1 at home vs. Chicago, but the Bulls have yet to show they can win in D.C.

More "Road Rules": Rockets-Mavs returns to Dallas tied at 2, and the Van Gundy-Cuban rhetoric over Yao's fouls is escalating.

Reclaiming HCA? Up 2-1, Spurs can reduce Nuggets bandwagon to rubble with a win tonight in Denver. Ginobili rules!

CHECK OUT THE QUICKIE EVERY WEEKDAY MORNING!
WHO'S GOT THE MOMENTUM ...
D. Wade: Shaq Who? Flash scores playoff career-best 34
Barry Zito: Finally ends that nasty 8-start winless streak
D. McNabb: Calls out T.O., earns back "post-purge" cred
... AND WHO'S GOT NO MO'
Jason Williams: Angry PG rips pen out of columnist's hand
Larry Cochell: OU baseball coach resigns (alleged racial slur)
MJ-Rip Ham shooting contests for cash: Zzz ... Who cares?
 
MLB 'Roid Update
Selig's "50-100-Out" is a p.r. checkmate vs. the union; like Fehr will balk? (Well, he's shown himself p.r. clueless before ...)

The amphetamines thing, though, is the absolutely must-watch detail.

Take a guess at what percent of baseball players use an unbanned substance: 50 percent? 75? 90?

Whatever your guess, I'll take the over.

And don't expect ex-players, Bunning-style, to get all high-horse about "good ol' days" -- greenies have been MLB's secret epidemic for decades.

I'm just shocked that Selig would want to pull the curtain back on this. The two truths fans don't really want to face about baseball:

The sport is built on greenbacks ... and greenies.

MLB Weekend Wrap
As May begins, the Orioles have become baseball's hottest team. Balto won its 8th straight on Sunday as Miggy homered for 4th straight game.

The real reason the O's are the easiest bandwagon for fans everywhere to jump on is because they are winning in the AL East.

Who doesn't want to see the Yankees and Red Sox fail (outside of NYC and BOS). Fortunately, the Yanks are making it easy (lost 2 of 3 to TOR).

Meanwhile, everyone tip their cap to Johan Santana, whose sick 17-game winning streak ended vs. the Angels with a 2-1 loss.

Santana is still the AL Cy fave, but not if ChiSox P Jon Garland keeps throwing 4-hit shutouts (first AL pitcher to 5 wins).

P-Jax Update
Cavs drop out, even though coaching the best talent in the league is Phil's m.o.
(Report via NY Post)

Did Phil say no, or did Cavs owner Gilbert not want to pony up the cheddar necessary to make it happen?

Jason White:
Oklahoma Heisman-winning QB dismissed from Chiefs mini-camp with barely a look; won't be invited to regular camp later this summer. "Cleanup, Aisle 4!"
 
 
Today on ESPN.com
Quickie live!
Olney blog: Selig gets tough
NBA playoffs Daily Dime
 
Baseball's Dirty Secrets
Greenies
Yes, it's THAT bad
 
Groupies
Which players ... play?
 
Grassroots
Latin teens mistreated?
 
Grousing
Who's a clubhouse grump?
 
Greed
Well, not such a secret ...
 

More NBA: Celtics-Pacers knotted at 2. Could a series likely to go 7 games be any LESS buzz-worthy? Most fans rooting for IND-DET East semi brawl.

Shaq does no good for his image ungraciously belittling Nets coach "Laura" Frank after the Heat swept the Nets. Just take the broom and go home.

What next for the Nets? There will be offseason rumors of trading Kidd, but the better move would be to ship Jefferson, made expendable by Vince.

The Broncos are going to bring in Panthers P (and NFL punchline) Todd Sauerbrun. Someone alert Rocky-area pharmacies (via Denver Post).

More NFL mini-camp news: Not much. Well, what do you expect off a weekend of basically walk-throughs for new draftees and tryouts for UFAs?

Flutie to Pats: And is it even a question that there will be some Super Bowl XL scenario where he comes in after a Brady injury to win the game?



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