December 23, 2005
Reggie Campbell:
Navy's version of Reggie Bush tied a bowl record with 5 TDs and had 290 all-purpose yards in a 51-30 Middie win over Colorado St. in the Poinsettia Bowl.
The Lead Item
Two Words For You:

There's a War on Festivus, friends. Which makes it all the more important to celebrate today's holiday (popularized by "Seinfeld") with the traditional ritual:

The Airing of Grievances!

24/7 T.O. media myopia
"Juiced" wasn't far off
Auburn: 2004 BCS Co-Champ Dud
(And no BCS gripe this fall!)

"You gotta draft Culpepper!"
Raffy Palmeiro's sanctimony
NBA draft age limits
Anyone claiming a "right way"

Kenny Rogers, All-Star
Gripes about TD celebrations.
"Kansas: NCAA bracket lock!"
The whole "FredEx" phenomenon

Sell the Nats already!
Extra Giants home game = Bye?
Where's a Vikes cruise video?
(NFL PR guys making videos)

John Chaney's goon-play
Alex Smith, No. 1 NFL Draftee
Griping about Nash being MVP
"Won't talk about the past."

Got any grievances from '05?
Send me an e-mail to vent.

Now, everyone gather 'round the aluminum pole for the Feats of Strength...

NFL: "Clinch-mas?"
Win and they're in: NYG, CAR, CHI and JAX can deliver early presents for fans, clinching playoff spots simply by winning.

NFC Bye-Watching: NYG, CAR and CHI all clinch divisions with a win (CAR needs a TB L). The jockeying for that other NFC first-round bye should keep all three 10-4 teams fiercely competitive through Week 17.

(Novelty alert: The Bears get to sit back and watch the Giants and Panthers games play out, because Chicago gets a rare Christmas Day game. And they're playing the Packers, who are ho-ho-horrible.)

AFC Bye-Watching: Will likely go down to Week 17, because this week the 11-3 Broncos host the Raiders; the 11-3 Bengals host the Bills. Can't see either team losing at home this week.

(Speaking of "watching," the Bengals game is must-see, if only for Chad Johnson's hyped TD celebration involving a deer. Or so he says.)

AFC Wild Card: A JAX win puts pressure on the AFC's other would-be wild cards. The Steelers (9-5) have the easier game (at CLE); the Chargers (9-5) have to win at KC (8-6), which can play the spoiler and still have a remote chance.

Florida: Beat Miami to set UF record for best start (11-0)
Marshawn Lynch: Cal RB had 194 yds, 3 TDs in Vegas Bowl W
West Va.: In need of W, spanks # 8 Okla. 92-68 in Okla. City
Wayne Chrebet: Jets unlikely star WR ends his career
Crosby-haters: Sidney taking Olympic dis with class
Puerto Rico: Wants out of WBC if Cuba isn't included
NFC Wild Card: The Bucs are in with a win over the Falcons and some 2-out-of-3 combo of the Redskins, Cowboys and Vikings losing. The Skins can clinch with a win over the Giants plus if the Falcons lose and if the Cowboys and Vikings both lose.

Reggie Bush Watch
Who wants Reggie Bush as a present?

With the 3-11 Jets facing a near-certain "must-lose" vs. the Pats on MNF, the pressure is on the 2-12 49ers to roll over at St. Louis and the 2-12 Texans to shake off last week's win and fold at home vs. the motivated Jags.

The 3-11 Saints and Packers both need help but seem to have reached the point where they've given up. And that's all you can ask from them.

NBA on Christmas Day
Credit the NBA: They put their best matchups of the year on Christmas Day:

Spurs at Pistons: In a rematch of the 2005 Finals, the Spurs will find out these ain't Larry Brown's Pistons. (12:30 p.m. ET, ABC)

Lakers at Heat: Think Phil will let Kobe keep shooting if he's got 62 after 3 quarters against Pat Riley, Shaq and Wade? (3 p.m. ET, ABC)

Prior for Tejada?
Remember when Mark Prior was the next lock as a Hall of Famer? The anchor of a Cubs dynasty? The closest thing to a perfect pitcher prototype that anyone had ever seen?

Now he's reportedly being dangled to the Orioles for Miguel Tejada -- and the O's don't want him!

Prior is an "If/When" player: "If he's healthy," he's scary good. "When he finally returns from injury" is heard way too often.

Scared off by that history, Baltimore would rather have Carlos Zambrano or find a way to package Tejada into a multi-team deal that includes, say, Barry Zito.

Bowlin' in TX, HI
Fort Worth (Houston/Kansas): Kind of a poor man's Red River Rivalry between Texas and Oklahoma. A very poor man's. (Fri., 8 p.m. ET, ESPN)

Hawaii (Central FLA/Nevada): If nothing else, you can't knock the bowl destination. Ho-ho-Hawaii in late December? (Sat., 8:30 p.m. ET, ESPN)

Quickie Flicks
"The Ringer": I have heard that this Farrelly farce is actually sympathetic and humanizing about the mentally challenged. This might be the first sports movie about the Special Olympics.

"Munich": Only tangentially about sports, though it tells the story of what happened after the 1972 Munich Olympic terrorist assassinations of the Israeli athletes, perhaps the ugliest sports tragedy of the century.

TD Grinches:
With all sorts of holiday happenings this weekend -- along with a fantastic lineup of sports -- there's no reason to be a grump ... at least until Monday.
Today on
Quickie: Live!
Page 2 Index
P2 Xmas Poem
"A Christmas Story" Characters (Best Holiday Movie Ever)
Mr. Parker
"Fragile?" That's Italian!
Mrs. Parker
How do little piggies eat?
Ralphie Parker
You'll shoot your eye out?
Randy Parker
Daddy's gonna kill Ralphi!
Scut Farkas
Bully eventually got his

NFL Week 16 office-pool picks: CIN, PIT, SD, STL, MIA, DET, TB, WAS, CAR, JAX, PHI, DEN, SEA, CHI, MIN, NE. (Last week: 12-4, Season: 153-67).

More MLB Hot Stove: The Rangers are hot for Kevin Millwood and are reportedly ready to offer him a 3Y/$30+M deal. Where is Boston on this?

Speaking of Boston, the big trade name is the Rays' CF Joey Gathright, along with SS Julio Lugo. The Sox filling holes from the D-Rays? Hilarious.

To sum up yesterday's Redick-vs-Morrison debate: Morrison 'stache makes him likeable; Redick's intensity makes him unlikeable.

Twas the Night Before Xmas, and all through Page 2: Check out my annual Page 2 tradition (now in its 5th year!) in Q It Up (Yes, it'll rhyme)

Happy holidays to everyone! Yes, there WILL be a new edition of the Daily Quickie on Monday. Taking the day off? Check your Quickie bookmark!

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