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Tom Brady:
"Scarlet B?" Linked (sort of) to BALCO, as Bonds trainer Greg Anderson mentions Brady among
athletes he has talked to (only once). Tracking ...
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The Lead Item
Two Words For You:
SNAKES. ALIVE.
This summer's biggest story in pop culture? Friday's
release of "Snakes on a Plane."
Wow,
I need a hook to connect "Snakes" (aka "SOaP") with
sports.
Well,
how did "SOaP" become a cult phenomenon? Mainly, because of the
title:
Fanboys
fell instantly in love with its obvious premise. See the title;
understand the movie.
Genius!
Expect this to be the next hot Hollywood
trend.
So,
to honor "SOaP" mania, I'm going to convert the title of notable sports
movies into their obvious, "Snakes on a Plane" style
equivalent.
10
Recent Releases:
Local
Ne'er-Do-Well Makes NFL
("Invincible")
Hollywood
Elites Mock NASCAR
("Talladega
Nights")
White
Coach, Black Players
("Glory Road")
Black
Coach, Racial Tensions
("Remember
the Titans")
Red
Sox Fans are not Funny
("Fever
Pitch")
Spoiler:
Female Boxer Dies
("Million
Dollar Baby")
We
Used to Care About Hockey?
("Miracle")
Texas
Football Fans are Crazy
("Friday
Night Lights")
Jockey
on a Horse
("Seabiscuit")
"Snakes"
Star Coaches Hoops
("Coach
Carter")
And
10 Classic Sports Movies:
Hicks
Win State Hoops Title
("Hoosiers")
Italian
Stereotype Hits Meat
("Rocky")
Smarmy
Iowan Sees Dead People
("Field
of Dreams")
Little
Leaguers Suppress ADD
("Bad
News Bears")
Fans
in Cleveland Can Dream
("Major
League")
Robert
Redford Saves Baseball
("The
Natural")
Jerko
Sports Agent Makes Good
("Jerry
Maguire")
Costner's
Career Hits Apex
("Bull
Durham")
You
[expletive] My Wife?
("Raging
Bull")
Stinks
to be Dying NFL Player
("Brian's
Song")
Doody
in the Pool
("Caddyshack")
Got
any other suggestions?
I'll
run the best tomorrow.
Send
your nominees here.
PGA Championship
Longest major course ever. I love a good superlative, and
Medinah's unprecedented 7,561 yards is obviously a huge X factor.
I
love how the distance has provoked media scrutiny about the possibility of a
performance-enhancement problem in the PGA.
On
its face, it seems crazy. Steroids might make a guy lactate, but they certainly
won't give him man-boobs like a bunch of these guys have.
That
said, I don't think a sport exists where cheating doesn't happen. And golf is
so solitarily cutthroat that I can't believe everyone
resists temptation.
Claiming
that steroids would hurt golfers more than help is as naive as that old
argument that steroids would hurt MLB pitchers more than
help.
Meanwhile,
Tiger vs. Phil will
dominate the next two days. Plus: Do you take Tiger or The
Field?
MLB Hit List
Even among Red Sox die-hards, I'm sure there was little
faith that David Wells would be the hero in salvaging a win vs.
Detroit.
Did
the Nats put Alfonso Soriano on waivers Tuesday? Who cares? All it does is
remind everyone how Nats GM Jim Bowden blew the trade deadline.
The
surprising X factor in the AL wild-card race? The Royals, who have
bookended a lost weekend with 5 of 6 wins over both Soxes.
(The
latest a 2nd straight win over Chicago,
which puts the White Sox one tenuous game ahead of the winning Twins for the
wild card.)
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CHECK OUT THE QUICKIE EVERY WEEKDAY MORNING! |
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| WHO'S GOT THE MOMENTUM ... |
Antawn Jamison: One-time long shot makes U.S. hoop roster
Bronson
Arroyo: Snaps 10-game winless streak, beats Cards
Yankees:
Break ground on spiffy new $1 billion stadium |
| ... AND WHO'S GOT NO MO' |
Roger
Federer: North American 55-match win streak ends
Greg
Anderson: Back to pokey if he doesn't testify today?
Jim
Edmonds: Cards OF has "post-concussion syndrome" |
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Stat
of the Day: The A's tied an MLB record by beating a division opponent
for the 15th straight time. They are the Mariners' daddy.
The
Yankees broke ground on their new $1 billion stadium. It needs a
nickname, like "The House That Ruth Built." A few
nominees:
• "House
That Boss Built"
• "House
That Billions Built"
• "House
That Bud Built"
• "House
That Jeter Built"
• "House
That A-Rod Built"
Angels-Rangers Brawl
Bench-clearing brawls might make for sensational MLB
highlights, but it's time for MLB to ban players who clear the
bench.
The
rule would be simple, modeled after the NBA: If you leave the dugout
(or bullpen) to join the fight, you are
suspended.
I
don't argue for this because I'm some prude; it's just that I think baseball's
macho culture of preening honor is outdated.
It's
actually MORE dramatic without the rest of the
team: Let the pitcher defend himself from the batter, mano a
mano.
NFL Camping
T.O. is back! Did you really think Terrell Owens
wasn't going to return in time for his prime-time spotlight on Monday Night next
week?
Does
Koren Robinson's DWI make you feel sad for him or angry at him? It is
hard to generate any sympathy for a multiple-time offender.
Big
Ben tweaked that right thumb that has bothered him before. Didn't
hurt him in '05, obviously, but a detail worth filing away.
Browns
center curse? First, free agent LeCharles Bentley is lost for the
season with a camp-opening knee injury.
Now,
replacement Alonzo Ephraim is suspended the first 4 games of the season
for violating the NFL's substance-abuse policy.
Mind-boggling.
An
even dozen: That's my over/under on the number of times Matt Leinart will
feel a Pats lineman's paw in his face during the very long quarter he'll
reportedly play against them this weekend.
No
punishment for T-Rac: You will undoubtedly sleep easier knowing that the
NFL declined to punish the Titans or their mascot for driving into Saints
backup QB Adrian McPherson with a golf cart this past weekend.
NFL Preseason
Hope you like reserves!
Chiefs
at Giants: After what happened to Clinton Portis, how many carries do
you think Larry Johnson and Tiki Barber get combined? I'll
set the over/under at single digits.
Eagles
at Ravens: Two teams for whom the health of the starting QBs essentially
determines the team's playoff fate. We'll see each for, oh, a series. Maybe
two.
USA Hoops Cuts
This is very simple: If Shane Battier didn't play for Coach
K at Duke, there is no way he would have made this USA
team.
(Bruce
Bowen was cut: So forget all that talk about Bowen locking down
Ginobili when the U.S. has to
get past Argentina
at the World Championship.)
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Quotable Artest
Stretching the definition of "community
service":
"Someone
started trouble and I ended it. I would always encourage you to protect
yourself, but in certain situations, if you can avoid them, avoid them."
Ron-Ron sets another
impeccable example for the kids.
NFL vs. CFB
Wednesday's debate got
great reactions.
In Wednesday's Quickie poll, the results were nearly dead-even: 50.3
percent pick the NFL, 49.6 pick CFB. Every vote
counts!
One
major theme emerged: Personal preference between CFB vs. NFL seems to
correlate with where you grew up:
Someone
from, say, Buffalo will probably prefer the NFL;
someone from Gainesville
will love college football more.
(I
think it also increases your interest in CFB if you went to a college where
football was a great experience.)
One
point to re-emphasize: By far, the fans' biggest complaint about the
NFL game (compared to CFB) was the OT rules.
I can't stress this enough: Even the BCS's worst day wouldn't compare
to the debacle of a Super Bowl champ being decided by a pre-OT coin
flip.
CFB '06: Power 16
Love ESPN.com's '06 Power
16, particularly the pick of Ohio State and Texas as
1-2, setting up their game in Austin on Sept. 9 as a de
facto play-in game for (at least) one spot in the national
championship.
But
I have to question the panel's pick of Oklahoma
at No. 12. Seriously? That high? This smacks of a
"rep" pick -- how preseason polls unfairly boost "name"
teams and punish the underrated.
Oklahoma is out of my
Top 25, as far as I'm concerned, until the Sooners at least prove they're Rhett Bomar-free bona fides with a first on-field W.
Quickie Closure
The final edition (ever) of the Daily Quickie will
run on 8/31. Leading up, I'll highlight some
superlatives.
Today:
Biggest
U-Turn
June
16, 2004: "With
this [NBA] title, Larry Brown vaults Phil Jackson as "Best Coach of This
Generation," even though Phil still has him 9-1 on
rings."
Ugh.
Since then, I have:
• Hammered
Brown's intractable, player-alienating, media-manipulating philosophy of
basketball as "The Right Wrong Way";
• Blamed
Brown directly for the Athens
Olympic debacle;
• And
predicted the Knicks will win more games for Isiah, simply out of
spite.
Only
10 days left!
Click
here to vent.
(Oh,
and if you couldn't get the link to yesterday's first-ever Quickie to work, try
this version.)
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Lonny Baxter:
Understatement of the Year: "Hopefully this [Baxter's arrest on Wednesday] doesn't become a life-altering event," his lawyer said. (Umm, too late.)
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Today on ESPN.com
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| Quickie Live |
| Page 2 Index |
| CFB Power 16 |
|
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| U.S. News '07 Ranking |  Princeton
| Eh,
I'd send my kid there
|  Harvard
| Mrs.
Quickie says, "2!?"
|  Yale
| It's
a tyranny of Ivies
|  Cal Tech, MIT and
Stanford (tie)
| Tree
drags Stanford down?
|  Penn (really No. 7)
| | Really?
This high? Wow. |
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What
a sad story about the suicide of Floyd Landis' father-in-law, apparently
suffering from depression unrelated to Landis' scandal.
You
can criticize Stephon Marbury for a lot of things, but the release today of his
well-intentioned $14.98 basketball sneaker is not one of them.
Watching
Dennis Leary rip Mel Gibson via Kevin Youkilis on Tuesday's Red Sox broadcast
is hilarity at its best. It's why they invented YouTube.
Turns
out Emmitt Smith's partner on "Dancing With The Stars" is Cheryl Burke, who won last year
with Drew Lachey. Emmitt "has
great rhythm," Burke said.
A
new detail that adds wild backstory to WSOP champ Jamie Gold: Apparently, the
ex-agent formerly represented unlikely porn star Ron Jeremy. (Defamer.com)
Hockey
mystery stud Evgeny Malkin has resigned from his Russian team, setting up a
move to the Penguins and teaming up with Sidney Crosby.
Did
everyone see the leak of the 2007 U.S. News college rankings? Almost as important
as the preseason Power 16. See Big 5 for the Top 5.
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