Slide over, Ronde Barber: Another Bucs DB picks his way to the national spotlight. (And don't forget
Dwight "2 INT II" Smith!)
The Lead Item
Two Words For You:
Well, we found out that a No. 1 defense can
score on pace with a No. 1 offense, that the coaching
master is wilier than the disciple and that we are
living in a golden age of alcohol advertisements. Here
are some other Super Bowl winners and losers:
Winners: The entire Bucs' "Speed Kills"
defense, which earned a place next to the XXXV Ravens
and XX Bears among the best ever. How to pick a single
MVP? ... Bucs RB Michael Pittman, who apparently saved
an entire season's worth of productivity for the
biggest game ... Will history look back on the Bucs' D
as "The Best Ever" -- or "The Unit That Launched 1,000
Losers: Ouch, it's tough to knock the Raiders,
who just ran into an opponent possessing a "buzz saw"
defense (says Gannon) and a clicking offense. Even Gannon called it "nightmarish" ...
Did The Booting of Barret Robbins have at least
some negative impact? On defense, no. On the
offensive line? Come on: How could it not have?
Winners: Bucs head coach Jon Gruden,
whose rep is pretty much set for life ... Bucs
D-coordinator Monte Kiffin, the new American
Losers: Raiders O-coordinator Marc Trestman,
who will find out "genius" is a fickle mistress ...
Whoever told Raiders coach Bill Callahan to challenge
the unchallengeable conversion catch ... Reported
Callahan Saturday-night speech to team that emphasized
betrayal by Gruden.
Winners: Can I get a degree from the
"School of Hard Knocks" like Simeon Rice? Do they
offer a Masters' in Badass Studies? Charlie Garner's
"University of the Untouchables" was obviously Brad
Johnson's safety school ... Dixie Chicks' Anthem,
Sting's halftime, Penn/Teller's pick ... That John
Lynch audio was awesome ("Every play they've run,
we've run in practice.") ...
||"SUPER BOWL HANGOVER" EDITION
|CONVERSATION TOPICS THAT ARE IN PLAY:|
1. Gruden's expectations: "We're going to get better!"|
2. Emphasis on putting more speed in defenses
3. Working out the kinks in the challenge rules
|CONVERSATION TOPICS THAT ARE SO OVER:|
1. All-pass, no-run offenses: So much for "new trend"|
2. Individual, on-field intros (started by Pats in XXXVI)
3. Keyshawn's pledge about not talking to media
Losers: As my buddy Jason noted, "Celine Dion:
Archenemy of Good Times" ... Was that Larry Csonka at
the coin flip -- or Dennis Farina? ... Shania Twain
dressed like an extra from "Matrix: Reloaded."
Mmm ... Beer
Winners: Clown goes "bottoms-up" ...
Yoga class (with raciest footage) ... Girlfriend's mom
as precursor to future ... The return of the chatty
cowboy ... Fast-forwarding to The Twins ... "Why don't
you date both of us?" ... "You're such a great listener."
Losers: Beachside pick-up lines with
seashell ... The strong-man competition ... The third
Winners: Willie "My Face is Burning"
Nelson ... Yao (Yo!) proving he has the best comic
timing of any athlete of his generation. New-nickname
alert ... Florence Henderson in bed with Ozzy
Osbourne, following an Osmond cameo.
Losers: The Barber Brothers just don't do it
for me anymore, even with their updated ad ... What
does it say when neither Jackie Chan nor MJ (heresy!)
can stir us?
Winners: Best ad of night -- Zebra as
ref (unfortunately, some real jackasses were on the
field) ... Baboons cooling off ... Shaggy dog as
Losers: The "squirrel bite" didn't make me
think of gum-chewing, but it did make me squirm in my
seat a little ... Someone's gotta explain that bison stampede to me.
Winners: Two words: Matrix. Reloaded.
(And yet another sequel on the way in November? Great
news.) ... "Charlie's Angels 2"? All you need to know
is "Bernie Mac as Bosley" ...
Losers: I was really looking forward to the
"Hulk" ad, but didn't he look like "Shrek II?" ...
"Bad Boys 2"? Will Smith must need to pay for a beach house
Will people remember his MVP season -- or his Super Bowl "double-nickel" (five picks and five sacks)?
|Who was your Super Bowl MVP?|
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I voted for Simeon Rice for MVP, but then threw in a
couple votes online for Dwight Smith and Brad Johnson,
Who else remembers once working with a "Terry Tate,
Office Linebacker"? ...
Shania got rough treatment in the Hot/Not List last
week, but Gwen Stefani is hot, isn't she? ...
After those great team retro hats earlier this week,
did the NFL have to make the championship hats so
Malcolm Glazer's facial hair goes from laughable to
trendy, right? ...
Who's heading to the Westside Tennis Club for some
Shout-out to Page 2's Bill Simmons, whose new TV show
"Jimmy Kimmel Live" had a fun, entertaining debut last
The Super Bowl is over, but the Quickie rolls on --
every weekday morning ...