January 27, 2003
Dexter Jackson:
Slide over, Ronde Barber: Another Bucs DB picks his way to the national spotlight. (And don't forget Dwight "2 INT II" Smith!)
 
 
 
The Lead Item
Two Words For You:
BUCS.  BOOTY.

Well, we found out that a No. 1 defense can score on pace with a No. 1 offense, that the coaching master is wilier than the disciple and that we are living in a golden age of alcohol advertisements. Here are some other Super Bowl winners and losers:

The Players
Winners: The entire Bucs' "Speed Kills" defense, which earned a place next to the XXXV Ravens and XX Bears among the best ever. How to pick a single MVP? ... Bucs RB Michael Pittman, who apparently saved an entire season's worth of productivity for the biggest game ... Will history look back on the Bucs' D as "The Best Ever" -- or "The Unit That Launched 1,000 Broadcasting Careers?"

Losers: Ouch, it's tough to knock the Raiders, who just ran into an opponent possessing a "buzz saw" defense (says Gannon) and a clicking offense. Even Gannon called it "nightmarish" ... Did The Booting of Barret Robbins have at least some negative impact? On defense, no. On the offensive line? Come on: How could it not have?

The Coaches
Winners: Bucs head coach Jon Gruden, whose rep is pretty much set for life ... Bucs D-coordinator Monte Kiffin, the new American Assistant-Coaching Idol.

Losers: Raiders O-coordinator Marc Trestman, who will find out "genius" is a fickle mistress ... Whoever told Raiders coach Bill Callahan to challenge the unchallengeable conversion catch ... Reported Callahan Saturday-night speech to team that emphasized betrayal by Gruden.

The Hoopla
Winners: Can I get a degree from the "School of Hard Knocks" like Simeon Rice? Do they offer a Masters' in Badass Studies? Charlie Garner's "University of the Untouchables" was obviously Brad Johnson's safety school ... Dixie Chicks' Anthem, Sting's halftime, Penn/Teller's pick ... That John Lynch audio was awesome ("Every play they've run, we've run in practice.") ...

"SUPER BOWL HANGOVER" EDITION
CONVERSATION TOPICS THAT ARE IN PLAY:
1. Gruden's expectations: "We're going to get better!"
2. Emphasis on putting more speed in defenses
3. Working out the kinks in the challenge rules
CONVERSATION TOPICS THAT ARE SO OVER:
1. All-pass, no-run offenses: So much for "new trend"
2. Individual, on-field intros (started by Pats in XXXVI)
3. Keyshawn's pledge about not talking to media
 
Losers: As my buddy Jason noted, "Celine Dion: Archenemy of Good Times" ... Was that Larry Csonka at the coin flip -- or Dennis Farina? ... Shania Twain dressed like an extra from "Matrix: Reloaded."

Mmm ... Beer
Winners: Clown goes "bottoms-up" ... Yoga class (with raciest footage) ... Girlfriend's mom as precursor to future ... The return of the chatty cowboy ... Fast-forwarding to The Twins ... "Why don't you date both of us?" ... "You're such a great listener."

Losers: Beachside pick-up lines with seashell ... The strong-man competition ... The third arm ...

Celebrity "Seen"
Winners: Willie "My Face is Burning" Nelson ... Yao (Yo!) proving he has the best comic timing of any athlete of his generation. New-nickname alert ... Florence Henderson in bed with Ozzy Osbourne, following an Osmond cameo.

Losers: The Barber Brothers just don't do it for me anymore, even with their updated ad ... What does it say when neither Jackie Chan nor MJ (heresy!) can stir us?

Animals
Winners: Best ad of night -- Zebra as ref (unfortunately, some real jackasses were on the field) ... Baboons cooling off ... Shaggy dog as dread-locks wig.

Losers: The "squirrel bite" didn't make me think of gum-chewing, but it did make me squirm in my seat a little ... Someone's gotta explain that bison stampede to me.

Movie Previews
Winners: Two words: Matrix. Reloaded. (And yet another sequel on the way in November? Great news.) ... "Charlie's Angels 2"? All you need to know is "Bernie Mac as Bosley" ...

Losers: I was really looking forward to the "Hulk" ad, but didn't he look like "Shrek II?" ... "Bad Boys 2"? Will Smith must need to pay for a beach house or something.

Rich Gannon:
Will people remember his MVP season -- or his Super Bowl "double-nickel" (five picks and five sacks)?
 
 
Who was your Super Bowl MVP?
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I voted for Simeon Rice for MVP, but then threw in a couple votes online for Dwight Smith and Brad Johnson, too ...

Who else remembers once working with a "Terry Tate, Office Linebacker"? ...

Shania got rough treatment in the Hot/Not List last week, but Gwen Stefani is hot, isn't she? ...

After those great team retro hats earlier this week, did the NFL have to make the championship hats so ugly? ...

Malcolm Glazer's facial hair goes from laughable to trendy, right? ...

Who's heading to the Westside Tennis Club for some thrills! ...

Shout-out to Page 2's Bill Simmons, whose new TV show "Jimmy Kimmel Live" had a fun, entertaining debut last night ...

The Super Bowl is over, but the Quickie rolls on -- every weekday morning ...


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