|
 |
|
Petra Nemcova:
"Czech Chick" headlines czill-thawing annual swimsuit mag, which is czock full of czeezecake and czerished by czildren and adults alike. Watcz your mail carrier....
|
|
The Lead Item
Two Words For You:
ZORA. WINS!
I love you, Quickie readers. And now that I've
told you that, there's something I have to reveal, and
it's been eating me up from the beginning: I'm not
really a sportswriter. (Inserting your own joke here?
Save it.) I'm really a construction worker, and Paul
the Butler has been filing this column all along. Will
you still have me? I'd like your answer in the grand
salon by the end of the column.
And now, I just sit back and wait for my editors to
write me and Zora that $1 million check ...
Shaq's Status
What is the urgency to put an
injured Shaq back on the court tonight (it will be a game-time
decision)? Sure, tonight's Yao-Shaq II is an
uber-made-for-TV event ... Sure, the Lakers can't
actually win without O'Neal, even if Kobe's
score-at-will status is must-see ... Sure, the team has
lost two straight and has four tough games left
this week, including this tussle with the
motivated playoff-rival Rockets ...
But see the big picture about the Big Arthro-stotle:
Without Shaq this week, the team could lose every game (the Lakers also play Utah, Portland and Seattle)
-- but get him healthy for the long run and still make the playoffs; put him on the court
prematurely, and they might win every game this week,
but lose Shaq for the long-term. The former plan is
tough but at least possible; the latter is guaranteed
to be the end of the Lakers' run.
Survivor: Lubbock
I don't give Texas Tech hoops martinet Bob
Knight credit for much, but at least he's consistent
and unwavering in brooking no b.s. from his players.
His leading scorer misses the morning shootaround
before the team's biggest road game of the year at No.
3 Texas? He's done, even if it contributes to the team
losing by 12. Not many coaches would have the
fortitude for that.
Reports are that Tech's players
actually voted the star to the bench, which both calls
into question Knight's reputation as a dictator and
sparks ideas of what a "Survivor-style" NCAA world
might look like, where the prima donna
|
|
|
 |
"MILLIONAIRE SUBSTANCE OVER STYLE" EDITION |
|
| CONVERSATION TOPICS THAT ARE IN PLAY: |
1. Stockton/Malone: (46/9/17) in win over T-Wolves
2. Maryland over Wake: Snow problem as Terps win big
3. Zora: Was sure she'd secretly be worth millions |
| CONVERSATION TOPICS THAT ARE SO OVER: |
1. Houston/Bryant: Lots of points, team loses
2. Maddux's record deal: 1 yr/$14.75M? Hindsight pays
3. Sarah: Hook-up in woods was BEST thing you did
|
|
|
|
|
stars lobby walk-ons for crucial playing-time votes. "Immunity"
ain't just for NCAA whistle-blowers!
Are They Hot?
The annual NFL scouting combine is changing
its format slightly to accommodate prospects,
including providing them with a more formal interview
schedule and extending the event from five to seven
days.
The combine is so ready-made for quality reality-TV,
here are three other format changes we'd like to see:
1) Invite Simon, Paula and Randy to judge from the
side ("Carson, you are what this competition is all
about.")
2) Hire Lorenzo Lamas as a consultant ("Let me break
out my Flaw Finder: Byron, you could stand to lose 15
pounds from your middle. 9.5 for arm strength, 6 for
mobility, 9.8 for overall draft appeal.")
3) Somehow incorporate documentary (or
documentary-of-documentary) footage of Michael Jackson
-- maybe running routes with Charles Rogers?
Tyson and Jacko
Speaking of Jacko, every day Mike Tyson is
confirming his status as the Michael Jackson of sports
-- a figure of continued fascination,
|
|
|
|
despite not having done much of anything productive in a decade.
His fight Saturday against Cliffy Etienne was
cancelled (but the Jay-Z concert is still on), and
everyone can blame Tyson's bout with the flu, but
let's remember what rhymes with "flu": Horrifying,
god-knows-what-it-does-to-you, half-face-covering
tattoo.
MLB and Ephedrine
It took Korey Stringer's tragic death
to spur the NFL to ban the diet supplement ephedrine,
and the shame is that MLB will need baseball prospect
Steve Bechler's heatstroke-related death to do the
same thing. Whether ephedrine was involved or not, a
mere reported association with this stuff should be
enough. What's the debate here?
Monday's Quickie
Skip work yesterday for the holiday or the
snow? If you missed the Quickie, click here to
check it out.
 |
|
Schaumburg Flyers:
Chicago-area indy minor-league baseball team signs John Henry Williams. (Actually, that's now the hottest baseball ticket in the Windy City.)
|
|
|
|
|
|
 |
Do you like to watch?
|
Vote at SportsNation
|
 |
Today on ESPN.com
|
| P2: Tyson vs. Jacko |
| IN: NBA rumors |
| NCAA: Bubble Watch |
|
|  |
Tiger and Ernie are the top two seeds for the Match
Play Championship starting Feb. 26. The bracket comes
out Monday. Who's got Retief Goosen in the office
pool? ...
Phil Jackson's joked whether Shaq has "Ming-itis."
Haven't heard of it? The disorder also goes by
"Coach's Panic" ...
All you need to know about the America's Cup, for all
that office chatter about it: The Swiss "Alinghi" has
cruised to a 3-0 lead on Team New Zealand in
best-of-nine comp ...
Remember when Florida's Brett Nelson was the next
coming of Jerry West? He rode pine as UF routed New
Orleans last night ...
Iowa State hoops coach Larry Eustachy is in favor of
paying players. Apparently, that free ISU education
ain't worth much ...
Sick of the usual young hotties of reality-TV mating
shows? Coming later this spring: "Who Wants to Marry
My Mom?" ...
The Quickie has dug itself out of the snow, but you
knew there was going to be a new column tomorrow
anyway, right? ...
|
|
|
