February 21, 2003
Desmond Mason:
Rising star was key to getting Bucks to buy into Allen-for-Payton swap. Why? When team decides not to re-sign Payton for next season, leftover Mason is starting 2-guard.
 
 
 
The Lead Item
Two Words For You:
PAYTON'S.  PLACE.

The NBA's big Ray Allen-for-Gary Payton trade between the Bucks and Sonics might almost make you forget that the Grammy Awards are on Sunday night.

The Quickie wants to put you at the nexus of sports and music (kind of like Larry Hughes making an extended cameo in the video of Grammy-contender "Dilemma," by Nelly and Kelly). Here are the nominees (feel free to sing along):

Payton Trade
News item: One game shy of his 1000th as a Sonic, the Glove is shipped to Milwaukee, where the biggest short-term story might be his reunion with George Karl but the big-picture question remains whether the cost-aware Bucks can sign him at season's end.

Record of the Year Nominee: "A Thousand Miles," by Vanessa Carlton

Makin' my way to Key,
Dressed in green,
But playing for Milwaukee.
Knowing fans out here,
They will cheer,
They appreciate me:

If I could figure out this trade
Do you think Karl can get me paid?
I could play a thousand games
But Schultz, don't blame:
My deal-demands stay the same,
To-niiiiight ...


Allen's Side
News item: Expensive Ray Allen (and scrubs) shipped to Seattle, where he makes the Sonics younger but must replace a franchise legend.

Record of the Year Nominee: "This is How You Remind Me," by Nickelback

Never made it playing great D
Hope Supe fans Glove me like Gary.
Though my ankles are flimsy,
"Ray I Am": Pair me with B-Barry.
And this is how I'll remind you of what was traded away:

Not like Karl to say sorry!
Yeah, Milwaukee fans should be worried!
Not like motives are too veiled:
I'm paid too much; the Bucks are for sale!
And this is how I'll remind you of what was traded away.


Tyson
Record of the Year Nominee: "Dilemma," by Nelly and Kelly Rowland

No matter what I do,

"WEEKEND PREVIEW" EDITION
CONVERSATION TOPICS THAT ARE IN PLAY:
1. All eyes on Kobe: He can't keep it up, can he?
2. Bucks at Sonics, even though Glove isn't playing
3. Bracket Buster: Mid-majors, please stop whining
CONVERSATION TOPICS THAT ARE SO OVER:
1. NBA trade week: If not for Supes/Bucks, a dud
2. Clifford Etienne: Just a pawn in the Tyson Game
3. Zora and Evan (Your 15 minutes are up)
 
All people see is my tattoo.
I'm missing a few screws,
That explains this strange tattoo.

I was feeling sick and blue,
Might have been that damn tattoo.
For money, anything I'd do,
Now I'm stuck with this tattoo.


Tiger
News item: Tiger is seven shots behind leader Fred Funk after first round of Nissan Open. Woods was freaked out (rightly) by an obnoxious cell-phone ring as he tried a simple shot on a late hole.

Record of the Year Nominee: "Don't Know Why," by Norah Jones

I muffed a birdie at seventeen,
Short putt for par, not much green.
I waited 'til the crowd was hushed,
Didn't want to feel too rushed.
My shot: It ... just ... went ... wide!
That cell ring's on my mind!
I cursed that phone; its owner too.
Don't know why he's such a fool ...
Don't know why he's such a fool.


Shaq
News item: Shaq expected to return to action Friday against the Blazers.

Record of the Year Nominee: "Without Me," by Eminem

This looks like a job for me:
Everybody's staring at Ko-be.
But he's hobbling on one good knee,
Ain't no four-peat, without me.
Who you think will stop Rasheed?
Don't you even mention Sa-ma-ki.
I sure could use arth-ro-sco-py:
But there ain't no four-peat, without me.


SI Swimsuit Issue
Has the standard-bearer for swimsuit issues everywhere jumped the shark? Or has it just been a victim of external circumstances?

The Answer: No-name models aside, the explosion of sports-n-skin "dude mags" leaves me yawning when I'm presented with some once-a-year display of a random Czech hottie on some tropical beach.

The Solution: An unscientific survey of members of the target audience shows, however, that interest is captured by the novelty of pics of athlete-celebrities, who are featured regularly in these dude mags.

Top 5 Athletes Who Deserve Their Own Swimsuit Issue: 1) Anna; 2) Serena; 3) Sue Bird; 4) Mariah Carey in a Jordan jersey; 5) Does Jennifer Garner count?

Weekend Picks
Tyson stumbles past Etienne ... Kobe doesn't hit his 40 vs. Portland ... Creighton beats Fresno State in best of "Bracket Buster" mid-major college-hoops showcase ... Tiger stays winless in Nissan Open (that's right, no lesson learned from last week's pick against Tiger) ... Grammys: Norah Jones, Nelly are big winners.

Kevin Ollie and Ron Murray:
Trade throw-ins become Seattle's only traditional PGs. Team immediately says "Who needs traditional point guards?" and says Brent Barry will start with Ray Allen.
 
 

NBA trades: Who won?
Vote at SportsNation

Today on ESPN.com
P2: Swimsuit issue
IN: NFL Draft
NFL: Combine
 

Best NBA trade rumor: Cassell (plus 1) for Spree. Could you imagine that invincible Payton-Spree backcourt? ...

Had to end sometime: The Mavs finally come up big against a good team and the Spurs finally lose, after 9 wins in a row ...

Looking for a pre-NCAA Tourney "statement" game? Try Wake Forest winning AT Georgia Tech ...

Bud Selig isn't going to consider reinstating Pete Rose before Opening Day (so I guess Pete's free to join March Madness, uh, "pools") ...

Is that an anti-Trista backlash or are you just happy to see me? ...

I'm not saying Michael Jackson was vindicated by "the footage you were never meant to see," but the original had some judicious editing ...

Footage you were never meant to see: The Quickie returns Monday morning ...


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