Nov. 19, 2003
Victoria's Secret:
Have you heard about the modeling industry's own "THG" outbreak? "Tyra-Heidi-Gisele." You can't spell THonG without THG ...
 
 
 
The Lead Item
Two Words For You:
PASS.  KEY.

Just give me the damn tirade!

After watching the Bucs basically boot Keyshawn Johnson off the team, is it too much to expect -- no, demand -- a classic "Me-shawn" outburst?

Not his good-natured -- ugh, even gracious -- banter with Dan Patrick on the 6 p.m. SportsCenter. Credit Johnson with Hall of Fame-caliber p.r. instincts.

What happened? He came out looking victimized, while making the struggling Bucs sound petty. He didn't need to dump on the Bucs, because he understood that the Bucs were burying themselves.

The logical next step? He's a half-season TV analyst job away from permanent image restoration (see Sanders, Deion).

Soccer's LeBron
Much Adu About Something: 14-y.o. soccer prodigy Freddy Adu is, for his age, the greatest athlete in U.S. team-sports history. Signing him is the biggest coup MLS could ever dream of.

The sickest part of his six-year MLS deal is that he'll spend a couple years giving the league its best shot of being mainstream, then go make Euro gazillions -- when he's still only 18.

NL MVP
Barry Bonds in a rout, obviously, but will he make it seven MVPs in '04?

Preposterously Premature
2004 MLB Awards Preview:

AL Rook: Kaz Matsui
NL Rook: Edwin Jackson
AL Cy: Tim Hudson
NL Cy: Mark Prior
AL Mgr: Ozzie Guillen
NL Mgr: Dusty Baker
AL MVP: A-Rod II
NL MVP: Bonds VII

IF YOU DON'T HAVE TIME TO READ THE FULL QUICKIE
TODAY'S THREE HOTTEST STORIES
1 Keyshawn/Bucs day after: Maybe finally get some dish?
2 U.S. teen soccer star Freddy Adu staying home to play pro
3 Kobe prosecutors filed motion to make him take HIV test
THREE STORIES YOU SHOULD JUST LET GO
1 Bonds skepticism: Media creation (psst: Fans don't care)
2 Magic dump Doc Rivers: What next ... Hawks? Knicks? TV?
3 AL MVP voting: More fun to wonder where A-Rod ends up
 
Pistons 106, Lakers 96
Don't let last night's result fool you: Detroit's by-committee system (Chauncey Billups' apt phrasing) is great for regular-season Ws. But for the playoffs, anyone want to trade it for the Lakers' star system? Don't think so.

Kobe's HIV Test
And don't read too much into the prosecutor's motion for Kobe to take an HIV test; it's s.o.p. in Colorado law for his type of case. (The disturbing thing is that media hears phrase "HIV test" and sensationalizes.)

Jailgate Party
I think this was an "Oz" episode ... except the inmate had to wear a cheerleader skirt: A Columbus, Ohio jail inmate bargained a guilty plea in exchange for the chance to watch his Buckeyes play Michigan on TV on Saturday.

Even though he's headed for the pokey, he says he'll "be on cloud nine" if the Buckeyes win. Yeah, until he sees the blitz package from "The Sisters."

Ad Watch
Still waiting for the first NFL player to go, "Yeah, sure, I've been mainlining THG for months. But it's OK, I had Subway for lunch."

Michael Jackson:
Neverland? More like "SearchWarrantLand." Think there are any secret areas, like on that creepy "SVU" last night?
 
 
Today on ESPN.com
P2: Do's and Don'ts of Taunting
IN: MLB Rumor Central
NFL Power Rankings
 
Ranking NBA's Best:
Lakers (8-3)
Pistons L aside, still best
 
Hornets (8-3)
Credit B-Diddy, not Floyd
 
Rockets (7-3)
Handle premature success?
 
Pistons (7-4)
In end, East team to beat
 
Pacers (8-2)
J. O'Neal a Top 5 player
 

Pettitte to the Astros? (They talked yesterday.) Pettitte to the Red Sox?! (hysteric NY Post buries key word: "longshot") ...

What did Doc Rivers THINK was going to happen if he offered the Magic an ultimatum to fire him or leave him alone? ...

Market signal? Kaz Matsui signed agent Arn Tellem, who also reps Mussina, Giambi and Godzilla ...

Who else finds it disconcerting to see Li'l Kim baring none in those Old Navy ads. Three layers too much, at least ...

I'd say Britney Spears is still a good five years of pop-culture decline away from taking up Playboy on their reported $7M offer to pose ...





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