'Brunch' pines for football season
Hey, it's late March, so we all know what that means, right? You've got it. Pro football is just around the corner!
Everything seems to be going right for the East Rutherford Jets other than that (wink-wink) coin flip by the commissioner. Perhaps as a consolation, the Jets will be the focus of this season's "Hard Knocks" on HBO, which upset the Houston Texans, who thought they were getting the preseason prize.
Nobody goes home unhappy in the NFL, however.
So the Texans may be one of two teams involved in another HBO series called "Six Days to Sunday." It will be a look at two teams preparing to meet each other in a regular-season game.
Here at the Sunday Brunch, this premise sounds like a solid idea -- if the Texans are preparing to play someone such as their division rival Indianapolis Colts. But suppose it doesn't work out like that. Suppose the show is about Houston getting ready to play, say, Detroit.
Here's the Texans' schedule for the week before a game with the Lions:
MONDAY -- Travel and unwind (even if the previous game was at home.)
TUESDAY -- Off.
WEDNESDAY -- Laundry and haircuts.
THURSDAY -- Study film (team votes and chooses "Clash of the Titans").
FRIDAY -- Walk-through (Pets or children optional).
SATURDAY -- Travel (and catch a Tigers game that evening).
Here's the great thing about it: If they use NFL Films, we'll still love it.
• While the Brunch is feeling the love for the Lions, did you notice that Detroit RB Kevin Smith reported on his blog that his rehab from reconstructive knee surgery is coming along fine? Smith said he can do almost everything -- except running. Isn't that like Lance Armstrong being injured and saying he can do almost everything -- except riding a bike?
• The Brunch would like to say that we don't care what happens to us -- from getting arrested in our skivvies on South Beach to being named the surprise winner of the Mrs. America contest -- we want Gus Johnson to make the call. Bam!
• The NASCAR Nationwide Series race on April 30 at Richmond will be labeled the Bubba Burger 250. Of course it will. In fact, shouldn't all NASCAR races have Bubba Burger in the name? And shouldn't the drivers be competing for the Bubba Cup?
• And the Brunch proudly announces our first Urban Meyer Bad Guy of the Week Award. And the first winner is -- Urban Meyer.
And now to the main courses in this serving of the Brunch:
• Let's begin with one of the best Top 10 lists the Brunch has seen in a while. It's from the The Philadelphia Inquirer's John "Gonzo" Gonzalez, who gives us his "Love to Loath" list. As a tease, we'll tell you that someone beat out the Yankees and the Cowboys for No. 1.
• Speaking of loathing, The Boston Globe's Kevin Paul Dupont provides a crushing account of what he expects from Tiger Woods' first stop on his Redemption Tour at Augusta National, namely "Drive for show, putt for redemption, and pray that a green jacket covers the stench." Ouch.
• Where's the love? Next we have Mike Bianchi of the Orlando Sentinel taking Florida football coach Urban Meyer to task and asking him to say WWTD -- What Would Timmy Do? Here at the Brunch we say that to start every day in hopes Tim Tebow will stop by to enrich our lives but not perform any minor surgery.
• Wow, it just doesn't stop. Scott Ostler of the San Francisco Chronicle gives us some of his patented deep thoughts, cheap shots and bon mots, including this message for Ben Roethlisberger: "The Devil called. He's got a pickup basketball game and he wants his T-shirt back."
• We'll close the Brunch with the Los Angeles Times' T.J. Simers wondering whether Rolling Stone knew what it was talking about when it claimed Kevin Durant is now superior to Kobe "demented three-faced narcissist'' Bryant. In summation, we're afraid Woods, Meyer, Roethlisberger and Bryant are not going to rate this as their all-time favorite Brunch.
Jerry Greene is a retired columnist for the Orlando Sentinel. He can be reached at email@example.com.