Commentary

Looking at twin cities: N.Y., Cleveland

Originally Published: May 16, 2010
By Jerry Greene | Special to Page 2

Today at the Sunday Brunch, we're thinking of the Twin Cities. That's right -- Cleveland and New York.

Two metropolises tied together by what Cleveland still has (we think) and what New York City wants: LeBron James. Dave Letterman, of course, has been joking about it, including listing "Reasons LeBron James Should Come to New York."

The reasons included No. 17 -- "People rub up against you on the subway."

Ewweee. That's a real seller. Those New Yorkers know how to entertain, don't they?

Meanwhile, back in Cleveland, Cavs owner Dan Gilbert was apologizing to the fans -- and that was before his club was eliminated at home in Game 6 by the Boston Celtics.

"Our fans and supporters deserve more," he said after Game 5. We assume Mr. Gilbert went on to say, "So we will refund the cost of admission to all fans who had to watch this travesty." But his cell phone must have been breaking up.

Jay Leno didn't want Letterman to have all the fun, so he got on board with this little rant: "Are you all ready for the upcoming finale of 'Lost'? But enough about the Cleveland Cavaliers. Cavaliers destroyed by the Celtics, 120-88 [Game 5]. … And the fans were furious. They were booing. There hasn't been that much booing in Cleveland, I guess, since ABBA got elected to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame."

Lord knows, he's right about ABBA, but let's not just dump on Cleveland. Back in New York, the Giants and Jets announced the combined bid for the Super Bowl in 2014 despite the potentially awful weather. Their plans include giving hand and seat warmers to fans "and locating fire pits in the parking lots" to keep fans warm.

Fire pits in the parking lots -- what could possibly go wrong with that?

And now for some other Brunch tidbits:

• Last Wednesday was the fifth anniversary of the Glazer family's buying ownership of Manchester United. So how's that working out?

• NASCAR chairman and CEO Brian France says the league will be "dialing back" its regulations because the fans want to see drivers "mix it up." The Brunch's prediction for the 2011 NASCAR season: spikes on wheels. Remember the chariot race in "Ben Hur"? How cool was that?

• According to something called the Academic Progress Rate, Yale has the smartest athletes in the nation. Wonder how many T-shirts that sells?

• Brunch Tweet of the Week from CBS Sports' Steve Elling: "Gatorade, AT&T, Gillette, Hank Harvey. Last one out of Camp Woody, turn out the lights."

• Apparently Jose Canseco won't rest until he's had the stuffing beaten out of him by Herschel Walker. Two words of advice for Jose: mud wrestling.

And now let's dive into the main courses in the Brunch:

• We'll get rolling with a Tipsheet from Jeff Gordon of the St. Louis Post-Dispatch that includes our Top 10 list of the week. This one is on the exploits of Houston Astros pitcher Bud Norris although it feels as if it might have been heavily influenced by an old Tim Tebow list.

• Speaking of Tebow, Joe Reedy of the Cincinnati Enquirer borrows a database that lists all the major NFL arrests since 2000 -- and won't that be a fun way to spend your Sunday. He notes that the Bengals are the NFL's leading criminals of the last decade. But we call your attention to the stats from 2007 to now. The No. 1 offending city was Jacksonville, so think of the good Tebow could have done there. Of course, Denver is tied with Miami for No. 2, so he's needed everywhere.

• Speaking of Miami, Greg Cote of the Herald has a unique reason LeBron James should move to his city -- the salt air. So that's what we smell on South Beach. Cote has much more, too, including this: "The Iowa farm and baseball diamond from the 1989 film Field of Dreams is for sale. I'm not positive but I believe Kevin Costner's career also might be buried there." Nice.

• Speaking of abject failure (oh, sure we were, if you ever saw "Waterworld"), Dan Shaughnessy of the Boston Globe delivers the Bruins' postmortem. Let's consider: If you lead a series 3-0 and then lead Game 7 by 3-0 but find a way to lose -- is it too harsh to consider it choking? Divide into small groups and debate.

• We're closing the Brunch with the lovable Phil Mushnick of the New York Post and his shot at "humanitarian owners" in sports. It's good reading, but mostly we can't resist a Mushnick column that begins "Maybe it's the pixie in me …"

Jerry Greene is a retired columnist for the Orlando Sentinel. He can be reached at osogreene@aol.com.

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