Otis Nixon leads All-Politics Team
The following is a paid political advertisement for absolutely no candidate in particular, but Page 2 did approve this message. After rancorous internal debate, we have emerged from smoke-filled rooms to submit these individuals for nomination on the All-Politics Team:
Ray Agnew: The Nattering Nabobs of Negativism will have a hard time bad-mouthing this defensive lineman the way Vice President Spiro T. Agnew collectivized the media in a 1970 diatribe. Ray Agnew had an 11-year career in the NFL that included a Super Bowl title with the 1999 St. Louis Rams. In his final four seasons, he missed only two games.
Keith Booth: When Booth voted for Maryland in recruiting in 1993, he became what Terrapins coach Gary Williams called the most important signee in years. Before that development, the Terps were seemingly locked out of the top talent in Baltimore. They went to the NCAA tournament in all four of his seasons and won the whole thing in 2002. Booth is now an assistant coach at his alma mater.
Lou Clinton: Kind of like a national candidate traveling in search of endorsements, Clinton played for three teams in a five-day span of September 1965. The outfielder was waived by the California Angels and claimed by the Kansas City Athletics, whom he joined just in time to play against -- you guessed it -- the Angels. After that game, the American League voided the transaction and returned Clinton to the Angels, who again waived him. This time, the Cleveland Indians' acquisition of Clinton was approved, and he remained an Indian for the final three weeks of the season.
Chad Cordero: Chad has been hanging around the Majors since 2003, and his durability and success have earned him a presidential nickname: The Chief. Cordero, who is from California, worked in 287 games from 2004-07. Only seven hurlers saw more action in that time.
Gerald R. Ford: The 38th president of the United States was an All-American center at Michigan, but the name's significance in college football doesn't end there. A tight end also named Gerald Ford helped Duke to its best season in the past 20 years, an 8-4 campaign in 1994. And Gerald J. Ford, a Texas farm boy who became a billionaire banker, is the chief benefactor of SMU's on-campus stadium, which bears his name.
Eddie House: The NBA veteran is the representative of the common man on the star-filled Miami Heat roster. He only makes $1.4 million a year, after all. House's main political difficulty would be qualifying for residency in any particular district. The 32-year-old shooter has played for eight teams in an 11-year career.
Otis Nixon: Let's make one thing perfectly clear: Nixon was a crook. He was guilty of theft more than 600 times, and he did it in at least once in 17 U.S. states and two Canadian provinces. In the interest of clarification and indemnity from litigation, we're talking about stolen bases, of which the fleet-footed Nixon had 620 in a 17-year big-league career. He's 16th all time in that category.
Charlie Whitehouse: Some pairings are meant to be. Pitcher Red Ames played for Cincinnati, for example. And our friend Mr. Whitehouse was a pitcher for the Washington Senators, whose home field was about 2.5 miles from the executive mansion. No word on whether Charlie is related to the current junior Senator from Rhode Island, Sheldon Whitehouse, or whether he had to seek a pardon from President Woodrow Wilson after allowing 13 hits and six walks in six innings in 1919.
Rob Daniels is a freelance writer for Sports Media Exchange, a national freelance writing network.