LeBron Poetry Contest's famous losers

Originally Published: November 3, 2010
By Patrick Hruby | Page 2

Williams ShakespeareAP Photo/Lefteris PitarakisWilliam Shakespeare did not win the LeBron James Poetry Contest.

When a 24-year-old recent college graduate won Miami's official LeBron James Poetry Contest -- and no, we're not making that up -- her four-line verse didn't just beat out 1,100 other submissions. It topped entries from some of the literary world's greatest writers. Take a look:

Sonnet 18

By William Shakespeare

Shall I compare thee to Michael Jordan?
Actually, no. MJ would never wuss out by teaming up with Hakeem

Where the Sidewalk Ends

By Shel Silverstein

There is a place where the sidewalk ends
And before the ocean begins
And there the sand is soft and white
And there the bottle service lasts all night
And there the moon-bird takes his talents
Because Cleveland is cold and boring

The Road Not Taken

By Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in free agency, and I --
took the one Maverick Carter suggested
And that was pretty dumb

Still I Rise

By Maya Angelou

You may write me down in history
With your bitter, comic sans lies
You may trod me with your racist Tweets
But still, like a bird, I'll rise

Does my talent spoil you?
Why are you beset with doubt
'Cause I dunk like I've got corporate cash
Gushing from my bank account

(And I do)


By Rudyard Kipling

If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same
Pat Riley has no place for you on his roster
Give him back his bag of rings

How Do I Love Nike?

By Elizabeth Barrett Browning

How do I love Nike? Let me count the ways
I love Nike to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when marketed just right
For the ends of being a global icon
I love Nike for commercials used to paper over
My old griefs, and for the tasty doughnuts
(Hi Chuck!)
I love Nike with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost Q score -- a downward rocket!
-- and, if Phil Knight chooses,
I shall love Nike alongside Sonny Crockett

Patrick Hruby is a freelance writer and contributor. Contact him at

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