Commentary

Belmont, not Weiner-gate, in 'Brunch'

Updated: June 12, 2011, 1:59 PM ET
By Jerry Greene | Special to Page 2

How did you do in the Belmont Stakes? My horse, the long shot in the 12-horse field, was named Isn't He Perfect. He was not. In fact, he is crossing the finish line just about -- now. But another long shot, Ruler On Ice, won the race, demonstrating how differently they treat the athletes in racing.

Ruler On Ice is trained by Kelly Breen -- who had him castrated at the start of his racing career because one of Breen's assistants said the horse was "so nutty he was going to hurt someone." Couldn't you say the same thing about a lot of football players?

After the race, Breen said of his Belmont champion: "He wouldn't grow up. He's already a gelding and we can't castrate him again, so we put blinkers on him. Sometimes the bulb just goes on."

If castration was a legal practice in football, you've got to think a lot of bulbs would be going on without the need for blinkers.

And a few more thoughts from the week that was before we get to the main dishes in today's post-Belmont Brunch. And, incidentally, now that the Triple Crown races are over, you can forget about racing again until next May.

• Rest easy, there will be no Anthony Weiner jokes here. Yes, this is a Weiner-free zone.

• Charles Barkley has the Mavs, Dan Le Batard has the Heat. Loser has to wear a Speedo on South Beach. For the rest of us, this is a lose-lose situation.

• The cheapest seats at Fenway Park include a $4.25 convenience fee and a $7 processing fee. Seems to me that both fees are inconvenient.

• You should be about the right age to remember "Where in the World Is Carmen Sandiego?" from the '90s. There is going to be a reboot of the video game and TV show entitled "Where in the World Is LeBron James?"

• Hey, Atlanta, we know you are going through the stages of coping with your loss of the Thrashers. You're now in the final stage: indifference.

• When is your UFL fantasy draft?

• Manchester United announced it will host an exhibition match in August against the New York Cosmos, who have not played in 25 years. The question, of course, is whether the Cosmos will be rusty or really well rested.

• Guinness is on red alert. If the Mavs win the NBA title, a record will be made for "longest victory parade" -- from Dallas to Cleveland.

On to the entrees in today's Brunch, provided by some of our best journalistic chefs:

• We don't do much hockey here but Jared S. Hopkins of the Chicago Tribune details "The Mystery of the Missing Puck." Where's Sherlock Holmes when you really need him?

• Let's get to our first love -- football. Bill Plaschke of The Los Angeles Times describes how Lane Kiffin has grown up since coming to USC from Tennessee. But before getting to Kiffin, Plaschke is compelled to rant about how USC did win the 2004 national championship and nobody -- nobody! -- can take that away.

• And for something entirely different: A short AP report we found in the Indianapolis Star that lets us know Touchdown Jesus at Notre Dame is getting a makeover.

• You knew we had to give you a little more about the Mavs-Heat series or, fair or not, mostly about the Heat. Actually, mostly about LeBron, so we turn to Mr. Le Batard of the Miami Herald to ask the question, "What's wrong with LeBron James?" He doesn't know but does know enough to tell James that it's "you and your boys against everybody."

• It is unfair to ignore the Mavs. What is their secret? Scott Cacciola of The Wall Street Journal has the answer -- they touch each other a lot. Really. He even has a chart!

What did we learn? Get up, walk away from your computer and give someone a high five. You'll feel better.

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