Commentary

LeBron James, Dez Bryant in our list

Originally Published: June 23, 2011
By Jerry Greene | Special to Page 2

Hard to say how good you would be at writing best-seller sports books but if publishing houses employ personnel to come up with book titles, you are a natural.

We asked you to suggest titles for sports books that don't actually exist but would be "can't miss" best-sellers. And you answered the challenge with titles that would demand that the books be read.

This week's list was inspired by the success of "Through My Eyes," written by Tim Tebow with an assist by Nathan Whitaker. Released May 31, it's still No. 60 on the best-seller list for Amazon.com and No. 1 both for sports memoirs and for American football.

Tebow's title, however, is weak. It has no colon. Almost all sports books have at least one colon in the title, sometimes two. Only two of the titles in your top 10 list do not have colons. (You're No. 1 title doesn't even have any words but that's a special case.) And although it didn't actually make the list, a special shoutout to Darren H. of Denver for this suggested title: "Colon: The 'Inside' Story of Bartolo."

Enough with the set-up. Let's get to the list:

Top 10 Titles for Fictitious Sports Books

10. "My Life In the NHL: Teeth Are for Sissies!" by Mike Ricci -- suggested by Brian C. of Perry, Mich.

9. "Through My Legs: The Bill Buckner Story" -- suggested by Dan S. of San Diego.

8. "Rapunzel, Snow White, and the Chicago Cubs Win the World Series: Fairy Tales for All Generations" -- suggested by John P. of Washington, D.C.

7. "Cheese-Burgered: How Baseball Gets So Big Now," co-authored by Jonathan Broxton and CC Sabathia with foreword by Tony Gwynn -- suggested by Casey M. of Columbia, S.C.

6. "The Best Book Ever!: The Ultimate Guide to Sports Media Hyperbole" -- suggested by Mike K. of Baton Rouge.

5. "Rickey Henderson: The Rickey Henderson Years: Rickey Plays Ball" By Rickey Henderson with foreword by Rickey Henderson -- suggested by Gabe S. of Tampa.

4. "Just Give Me the Damn Mall!" by Dez Bryant -- suggested by Mike M. of Wilmington, Del. (who also suggested "10,000 Reader-Submitted Quotes" stolen by Jerry Greene -- which is not funny at all!)

3. "Global Climate Change: An Objective Study of Research Methods: The Skewed Presentation of Facts by Proponents and Opponents" by Ozzie Guillen -- suggested by Eriq J. of Arlington Heights, Ill.

2. "The Secretariat Story: So What Had You Done By Age 3?" -- suggested by Peggy C. of Oviedo, Fla.

1. (No Title) by LeBron James -- suggested by Dan K. of Boise, Idaho.

So get out there and remember this: You can judge a book by its cover (and its title).

Back to Page 2 »


• Philbrick: Page 2's Greatest Hits, 2000-2012
• Caple: Fond memories of a road warrior
• Snibbe: An illustrated history of Page 2
Philbrick, Gallo: Farewell podcast Listen