Page 2 staff

Showtime. The Diesel ... they're all gone now. Not to mention any chance the Lakers have at winning the title.

Now it's up to Kobe and maybe even the Zen Master himself -- Mr. Phil Jackson. With all this drama going down in Hollywood, Page 2 looks inside the head of Lakers owner Dr. Jerry Buss.

"Things are going to be really awkward at the holidays if I don't get this done."

"What I meant was I'd probably go on the South Beach Diet if I were in Miami."

"Sounds good. Let me discuss this with my general manager."

"I'm just glad that win or lose, Dyan Cannon's mom still shows up. What? Really?"

"A doctorate in chemistry and I still had to trade Shaq."

"I never should have bet Sterling my parking spot on this season's win totals."

"I knew I should have saved those voice mails."