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The uniform was much different. Instead of the conservative Montreal Expos pinstriped jersey, he wore a bright red Montreal Canadiens sweater. And instead of the old Expos logo, his cap bore the Habs logo. But the orange fur, the shock of red hair and the goofy grin were still the same. It was our old friend, Youppi!
"Well," Youppi! said, modeling the sweater of his new employer. "What do you think?"
Tres' magnifique, but it's going to take some getting used to. How do you feel?
"Like I just got let out of purgatory. If there's a mascot who had a rougher couple of years recently, I'd like to meet him," Youppi! said, trying unsuccessfully to lace up his skates. "First, I'm asked to work in front of crowds of less than 4,000 baseball fans for a couple summers -- crap, Myron Noodleman works bigger crowds than that at the Class A level. Then my employer for three decades moves out of town and leaves me behind to fend for myself. Sheesh, the Nationals are paying Cristian Guzman $16.8 million but they didn't have any budget room for me in D.C.?"
True, but in the Expos' defense, they felt you belonged in Montreal. That you were an institution and you should stay in Quebec.
"Maybe, but they still sold me to a team that wasn't even playing its season. How do you think that made me feel? Montreal loves you, Youppi! Canada loves you, Youppi! You're special, Youppi! Now go sit in the closet for the next eight months until we get this lockout settled. It was disgraceful.
"And to add insult to injury and pour salt into the wounds, I got completely snubbed in the first induction for the mascot Hall of Fame."
Hold on, I said. Granted, the whole Expos saga was a nightmare. And the NHL lockout was terrible, too. But losing out to the Chicken, the Philly Phanatic and the Gorilla in the Mascot Hall's initial class isn't any insult.
"I got no beef with the Phanatic and the Gorilla making it -- they've done a great job with their teams for decades. But the Chicken? I mean, yeah, he's a legend and an inspiration to us all -- frankly, that gag where the baby chick pees on the umpire always cracks me up no matter how many times I see it -- but he's not a mascot anymore. Hasn't been for years and years. Once he left the Padres and went solo, he ceased to become a team mascot and became just a traveling lounge act. He's like a great Elvis impersonator. Elvis impersonators wear costumes but does that make them a mascot? Not in my book. And neither is the Chicken."
We're getting a little off the subject ...
"No, we're not," Youppi! shouted, taping up his hockey stick. "This goes to the very root of what a mascot is. A mascot is an employee of the team and he represents that team through thick and thin. He's there no matter what. He doesn't cut and run when he gets a better offer. Whether you win 116 games or you lose 116, whether you win the World Series or you're the Pirates, a mascot goes out there and gives it all to build enthusiasm for the team. That's what I did all those years for the Expos and that's what I'm going to do for the Canadiens."
