A fuel-efficient sports world
The good news with the Obama administration's new fuel standards for U.S. autos is that bullpen carts might be back!
The bad news is that those carts will be racing at Indy and the Daytona 500.
Actually, the president's proposed fuel standards -- 39 mpg for passenger cars and a 35.5 mpg average for a company's entire fleet -- is nothing but good news for the country. The standards are a long-delayed, longer-needed measure to reduce both emissions and our dependence on foreign oil; make our roads safer; and, most important, free up more stadium parking lot space to spread out for tailgate parties.
As with any government proposal, some will insist that the standards will spell the end of life as we know it. We won't be able to drive the vehicles we really want. Our lives will be endangered by unsafe smaller cars. We'll not only wind up driving old East German Trabants and Soviet Ladas, but we'll also have to fuel them with fluoridated ethanol. And foremost, the government should not be interfering with the free-market system. But this just isn't true. I'm a believer in the free market, but it doesn't always deliver what is best for society. If it does, then explain Barry Zito's contract.
Granted, the standards may pose a threat to gas-guzzling SUVs, but I've never quite understood the wide appeal of these behemoths. When I drive, I want a car that doesn't need constant refueling and is easy to park. There is no better feeling than squeezing a small car into a tight space for free on-street parking before a game after an SUV driver passes it up because his car won't fit -- he's stuck paying $30 for space in a lot. And when riding with friends, I've found that their SUVs, surprisingly, can carry little more than my car does, especially if I clear out all the old newspapers, empty soda cans and media guides in the back seats.
Of course, there will be adjustments, particularly in sports.
For instance, with smaller vehicles, soccer moms may have to bungee-cord players to the roof of the car. (Seriously, though, the lack of space can be overcome easily if children simply squeeze in a bit more and actually have their bodies touch one another rather than be separated by arm rests and cup holders. This would depend in part, however, on state govenments relaxing the requirements that kids ride in car seats until they are old enough to shave. What a boondoggle that is. If children truly are at risk without car seats, why are they not required on school buses? I also would like to know the number of injuries that have been caused by parents taking their eyes off the road to see what their kids are up to in the back seat. See Page 2's suggested model below.)
Kurt SnibbeBut I digress …
While smaller cars allow more space in parking lots for tailgate parties, those parties will also be substantially reduced because tailgates will be large enough to hold only three cans of beer, a small bag of chips and a pint of hummus. On the other hand, smaller tailgate parties means fewer calories, which means thinner fans, which means extra room while sitting in the stadium. In the end, everyone wins, especially at Fenway Park, Wrigley Field and Notre Dame Stadium.
Fuel requirements mean reduced horsepower for race cars, limiting them to top speeds of 55 mph. But race times will not be dramatically changed because increased gas mileage means only one pit stop per race.
Millionaire athletes will be able to squeeze eight cars into their four-car garages. On the other hand, this may actually lead to more fuel usage because millionaire athletes will need to travel with three vehicles at all times in order to transport their posses.
Still, the new requirements will be a good thing. I mean, c'mon -- will the country really suffer if Roger Clemens has to cut down his personal fleet of six (yes, six!) Hummers?
Jim Caple is a senior writer for ESPN.com.
