"I've forgotten more baseball than this guy knows."
Lou Piniella, responding to Curt Schilling's criticism that he's forgotten how baseball is played
The Top 10 things Lou Piniella has forgotten about baseball
10. Where he put the keys to the bullpen cart.
9. Who's on first?
8. That while it stinks to manage a last-place team, it really, really stinks to manage a team owned by George Steinbrenner.
7. Which alternate jersey the Devil Rays are supposed to wear on Sundays.
6. The big-league record for triples in a season.
5. The second verse to "Cotton-Eye Joe."
4. Whether it's "I before E" when signing a baseball.
3. Marge Schott's favorite brand of scotch.
2. That you have to unhook a base before attempting to heave it into the outfield.
1. Why the hell he ever left the Mariners anyway.
Jim Caple is a senior writer at ESPN.com. His first book, "The Devil Wears Pinstripes," is being published by Plume. It can be ordered through his Web site, Jimcaple.com.