If I were commish ...   

Updated: June 12, 2007, 12:48 PM ET

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EDITOR'S NOTE: This article appears in the June 18 issue of ESPN The Magazine.

"I would forbid players from shaving, unless they wear a porn 'stache or lamb chops -- but not both. I'd bring back the red, white and blue ball. And so no one gets a free pass, I'd put names on referee uniforms."
--Mike Dunleavy, Pacers

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"Any game with a heat index over 90 degrees would be replaced with a bowl-off and hot-wing-eating contest."
--Drew Bennett, Rams

"I'd make the Car of Tomorrow look like a car of tomorrow instead of a station wagon with a "Star Wars" wing strapped on the back."
--Tony Stewart, NASCAR

"I'd give more ranking points for style and effort. Specifically, I'd give more points to a midlevel-talented player who works hard and is funny and entertaining. Like myself!"
--Justin Gimelstob, ATP

"I'd have the DH in the National League."
--Travis Hafner, Indians

"Every Super Bowl would be in Miami. And every team in the NFL would have cheerleaders."
--Adewale Ogunleye, Bears

"I'd have free public skates at every NHL arena in the U.S. If people saw how hard it was to do the things we do at full speed with the puck while on skates, they'd gain a new appreciation for the NHL."
--Matt Pettinger, Capitals

"I'd have a dirt-track race. Imagine 43 Cup cars power-sliding through the Illinois State Fairgrounds. That would be the coolest race ever."
--Kasey Kahne, NASCAR

"I'd make NBA players participate in a program where you tag along at work with a blue-collar person. It would give us perspective and help clean up the muck in our league."
--Bruce Bowen, Spurs

"I'd make players take off their helmets during shootouts."
--Sean O'Donnell, Ducks

"I could use a weekend off sometime between July and Christmas."
--Sterling Marlin, NASCAR

"Well, the first thing I'd do is make sure all the footballs get changed to have my name on them."
--Bryant McKinnie, Vikings


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