By DJ Gallo
Special to Page 2



Opening Day finally has arrived … the day baseball fans were waiting for all winter long. Doesn't it feel good?

But remember, it's only the beginning. We've got six full months of regular-season games ahead. And you know what? Something exciting happens every single day in the major leagues. Luckily for Page 2, DJ Gallo was able to look into his crystal ball and give us a day-by-day preview of the whole season.

Sportoon


April 3 -- The Mets beat the Nationals 19-4 in their home opener, thanks to a record eight inside-the-park home runs. Washington's Alfonso Soriano gets the start in left field for the Nationals, but stands beside second baseman Jose Vidro the entire game, leaving a gaping hole in the outfield.

April 4 -- BarryBonds.com continues its penchant for hard-hitting journalism by revealing that Bonds' favorite candy bar is Almond Joy.

April 5 -- Tigers manager Jim Leyland visits starter Jeremy Bonderman on the mound to discuss how to pitch to Kansas City's Mike Sweeney, but also to ask Bonderman if he has a light for his cigarette.

Roger Clemens
AP Photo/Charlie Riedel
We're still waiting on a decision from Mr. Clemens.

April 6 -- Roger Clemens holds a joint press conference with Brett Favre just to let everyone know that they're still deciding on whether to retire. The suspense becomes too much for everyone to bear, and the nation erupts into mass chaos and anarchy.

April 7 -- Yankees executives, led by George Steinbrenner and Brian Cashman, stage a Bay of Pigs-style attack on Cuba in the hope of gaining control of the Cuban baseball team and signing the players to multi-million dollar contracts. The mission is largely unsuccessful, however, as Cashman is wounded in the fighting and the Yankees' brass return home with nothing more than Cuba's backup catcher and a few water-logged cigars.

April 8 -- Angels starter Bartolo Colon is thrown out of a game against the Yankees after umpires find a foreign substance on the ball. Colon later explains that the substance was merely gravy that had stuck to his fingers while he was eating a turkey leg between innings.

April 9 -- Detroit pitcher Kenny Rogers skips a game in Texas so he can attend a Pacers-Pistons game at The Palace of Auburn Hills in hopes of getting in a fight.

April 10 -- Cardinals center fielder Jim Edmonds christens the new Busch Stadium in his own special way by diving needlessly for a routine fly ball in St. Louis' home opener.

April 11 -- New Mets catcher Paul Lo Duca throws out two baserunners trying to steal in a victory over the Nationals, eclipsing the best season total former Mets catcher Mike Piazza had during his entire tenure with the team.

April 12 -- Mariners outfielder Matt Lawton announces he will begin speaking to school groups to tell them that he is proof that steroids don't work.

April 13 -- Straight-talking, tell-it-like-it-is Curt Schilling calls out Curt Schilling for being out of shape again.

April 14 -- ESPN's "Baseball Tonight" debuts its first installment of a regular feature for the 2006 season called: "Tonight's Titanic Home Run Hit Off of Jose Mesa at Coors Field."

April 15 -- Cubs pitcher Kerry Wood announces he will attend medical school part-time in the hope of being able to do all of his surgeries on himself in the future.

April 16 -- In a game against the Cardinals, Cincinnati Reds slugger Adam Dunn becomes the first player in major league history to somehow find a way to strike out five times in just four at-bats.

April 17 -- Red Sox adviser Bill James unveils a theorem he says explains why Boston general manager Theo Epstein is such a drama queen.

April 18 -- Indians pitcher C.C. Sabathia asks the team's equipment manager why he keeps getting stuck with hats that have off-center brims.

April 19 -- Mets third baseman David Wright makes a fairly routine catch of a pop fly hit over his head in a loss to the Braves, but because he plays for a New York team it is called one of the greatest catches in baseball history.

April 20 -- Nationals general manager Jim Bowden signs Roger Clemens to a one-year contract, but promptly suspends him when Clemens refuses to play left field.

April 21 -- The Phillies re-sign Ugueth Urbina to a 10-year, $150 million contract after Urbina threatens to set general manager Pat Gillick on fire.

April 22 -- With the Yankees off to a 6-9 start, George Steinbrenner posts a note outside Yankee Stadium apologizing to fans that they have to root for a team that, despite a $200 million payroll, still has shoddy starting pitching, a center fielder who throws like a Little Leaguer and a third baseman who routinely fails in the clutch.

April 23 -- Thinking better of his note from the previous day, following another Yankees loss, Steinbrenner posts another note blaming the Yankees' slow start on a conspiracy by Bud Selig and the World Baseball Classic.

Jimmy Rollins
AP Photo/Miles Kennedy
Hmmm, maybe going after DiMaggio's streak isn't Jimmy Rollins' best move.

April 24 -- Jimmy Rollins singles in Philadelphia's win over the Rockies, extending his consecutive games hitting streak to 55, one short of tying Joe DiMaggio's record. Sadly, his postgame meal is spiked with poison by a clubhouse attendant with ties to the Mafia, and Rollins' streak ends the next day.

April 25 -- One day after his 34th birthday, Chipper Jones tells reporters he thinks it'll be at least another year or two before he's too old for a name like "Chipper."

April 26 -- By passing Babe Ruth with his seventh home run of the season for the 715th of his career, Barry Bonds sets his sights on eclipsing Hank Aaron's record of 755. He also starts receiving hate mail from Bud Selig.

April 27 -- Orioles starter Kris Benson gives up 12 runs in the first inning to the Blue Jays, distracted by his ex-wife having sex with the Toronto Maple Leafs in a Rogers Centre hotel room overlooking center field.

April 28 -- In Baltimore to play the Orioles, Mariners outfielder Carl Everett takes a trip down to Washington, D.C., to visit the Smithsonian. In an unfortunate occurrence, he is crushed by 1,500 pounds of dinosaur bones when a dinosaur skeleton display tumbles down on top of him. Luckily, though, Everett is uninjured because dinosaurs never existed.

April 29 -- In a rematch of the 2005 ALCS between the White Sox and Angels, Chicago catcher A.J. Pierzynski strikes out in all four of his plate appearances, but manages to score each time in a 4-3 White Sox win.

April 30 -- The Boston Red Sox send Coco Crisp, off to a 5-for-90 start at the plate, to the minors to grow a nasty beard, lengthen his hair, and experiment with adultery.




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