By DJ Gallo
Special to Page 2

Sportoon


August 1 -- The San Francisco Giants' locker room is closed before a home game against the Nationals due to a sewage leak. It is quickly re-opened, however, after Moises Alou volunteers to clean up the mess with his bare hands.

August 2 -- In an interview on "60 Minutes," Jason Giambi says he has not read "Game of Shadows" because he "has no interest in that junk," but mostly "because I can't read."

August 3 -- Researchers discover that consecutive games streaks are often an early sign of Lou Gehrig's Disease.

August 4 -- Ten Rockies are injured and shelved for the season in a tragic meat-carrying accident.

Julio Franco
AP Photo/Rick Silva
Julio Franco just won't go away -- now he's a Met.

August 5 -- Archaeologists in Italy unearth writings suggesting Julio Franco's career began in the third century A.D.

August 6 -- Dontrelle Willis and Miguel Cabrera of the Florida Marlins are named Triple-A Players of the Month for July.

August 7 -- The Washington Nationals announce their new stadium will be named Jose Guillen Memorial Stadium after the greatest player in the franchise's history.

August 8 -- The Royals invite former pitcher Jose Lima back to sing the national anthem before a game so fans can ogle his wife.

August 9 -- A conservative family group urges a boycott of major league baseball until team mascots start wearing pants.

August 10 -- Frustrated again with all of the negative media coverage, Barry Bonds brings his children with him to a press conference and says: "Look what you're doing to my family," while he punches them over and over in the shoulder.

August 11 -- Nationals manager Frank Robinson creates a brief stir by not standing for the national anthem before a home game against the Mets, but soon rises when the music stirs him out of a nap.

August 12 -- The Braves get a margin of repayment against former closer Dan Kolb, by unloading on the now-Brewers reliever with back-to-back-to-back-to-back-to-back home runs in the bottom of the ninth inning for a 5-4 come-from-behind victory over Milwaukee.

August 13 -- Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger throws out the first pitch before a Pirates home game against the Cardinals, giving the Pirates one of their few sellouts of the season.

August 14 -- After Padres pitcher Chan Ho Park gives up his 97th, 98th and 99th home runs of the season in a home loss to the Giants, Padres management points to Park as evidence that Petco Park is not too spacious.

August 15 -- George Steinbrenner calls Joe Torre and Brian Cashman into his office to ask them how it's possible he's paying $200 million for a team that just started the likes of Aaron Small, Kelly Stinnett and Andy Phillips in a game.

August 16 -- Boston left fielder Manny Ramirez walks through a door into the Green Monster during a game and, once inside, sees himself on a television walk through the door into the Green Monster due to a five-second broadcast delay. His mind is blown.

August 17 -- Barry Bonds tells friends he's really jealous of Mark McGwire again after hearing McGwire just purchased a brand new Ferrari.

August 18 -- Bud Selig announces he is moving the Tampa Bay Devil Rays franchise to Las Vegas after finding a Vegas sports book offering 10:1 odds that the Devil Rays won't move to Las Vegas, making himself an easy $1 million.

August 19 -- White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen is miked for a game by ESPN, but the broadcast is quickly cut off by the FCC after Guillen drops more than two dozen profanities and racial slurs before the first at-bat is completed.

August 20 -- Red Sox closer Keith Foulke blows his 28th save of the year, but Boston manager Terry Francona says he's going to stick with Foulke a little bit longer because he's "this close" to returning to his prior form.

August 21 -- A strike by a local beer distributor leaves Wrigley Field without beer for one game, forcing 40,000 Cubs fans to watch a game sober and realize for the first time that they've been watching some pretty awful baseball over the past 100 years.

August 22 -- Before a game in Seattle, Yankees center fielder Johnny Damon asks Mariners starter Jamie Moyer how he is able to throw the ball with such velocity.

Derek Jeter
AP Photo/Mark J. Terrill
If Derek Jeter's in pain, then Geore Steinbrenner's in pain.

August 23 -- Derek Jeter is placed on the 15-day disabled list after spraining his ankle sliding into second -- an injury George Steinbrenner blames on ankle weakness caused by Jeter's playing in the World Baseball Classic.

August 24 -- Before a home game against the Twins, the Orioles honor the career of longtime first baseman Rafael Palmeiro by unveiling a giant No. 25 Palmeiro jersey on the Camden Yards warehouse. It's then lit on fire to the delight of the crowd.

August 25 -- The 123,486th book on the Boston Red Sox' 2004 season hits store shelves, besting the JFK assassination for the all-time record for most books published on one topic.

August 26 -- The White Sox celebrate their favorite umpire with a Doug Eddings Bobblehead Night.

August 27 -- With Vladimir Guerrero up to bat and the Angels trailing the Yankees 5-4 in the bottom of the ninth inning with two on and two out, Guerrero strikes out swinging on three consecutive intentional walk pitches.

August 28 -- Kerry Wood is named Player of the Year by the National Association of Orthopedic Surgeons.

August 29 -- After Tigers pitcher Kenny Rogers beats yet another cameraman, he explains that he is Amish and is therefore made very uneasy by having his picture taken.

August 30 -- Boston record shops start giving away Bronson Arroyo's CD free with any purchase after having not sold a single copy of the album in six months.

August 31 -- Craig Biggio is hit by a pitch in an Astros win over the Brewers, extending his record to 285 for most pitches not gotten out of the way of in major league history.




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