By DJ Gallo
Special to Page 2

Sportoon


June 1 -- The Dodgers lose ever-brittle J.D. Drew and Nomar Garciaparra to injuries sustained while washing Jeff Kent's truck.

June 2 -- Off to a 20-36 start to the season, several Baltimore Orioles players say they're glad they won't have to put up with the disappointment of collapsing after a hot start like they did in 2005.

June 3 -- Marlins starter Dontrelle Willis hits his first home run of the season, giving him the second highest total on the team behind Miguel Cabrera's 17.

Alfonso Soriano
AP Photo/James A. Finley
Soriano should make some interesting things happen in the field this season.

June 4 -- Playing a bit out of position again, Nationals left fielder Alfonso Soriano starts a rare 7-6-3 double play on a ground ball hit between first and second.

June 5 -- A New York tabloid is blasted by readers after it reports that David Wright's excrement does, in fact, smell from time to time.

June 6 -- A Tampa Bay Devil Ray receives an All-Star vote after a fan in Milwaukee accidentally punches out the wrong hole on his ballot.

June 7 -- Tigers manager Jim Leyland tells his players they need to rid themselves of a clubhouse cancer, which was apparently acquired from all of Leyland's secondhand smoke.

June 8 -- Red Sox slugger Manny Ramirez is arrested for masterminding a six-state crime ring. However, prosecutors refuse to file charges against the popular outfielder after his attorney explains it was just a case of "Manny being Manny."

June 9 -- Padres first baseman Ryan Klesko complains the fences at Petco Park are still too far back for his liking after popping out to first four times in a home game against the Marlins.

June 10 -- Mariners outfielder Carl Everett tells teammate Ichiro Suzuki that he doesn't believe he exists because he's never come across any mention of Japanese people in the Bible.

June 11 -- Chicago White Sox players admit that after a full season with him, and despite his role in helping them win a World Series ring, they're starting to hate A.J. Pierzynski now, too, just like everyone else.

June 12 -- The Angels change their official team name to: Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim (But Anaheim Begrudgingly -- We Really Prefer L.A. But Had to Stick the "Anaheim" Part in There at the End for Legal Reasons).

June 13 -- The Orioles beat the Blue Jays 6-2 behind a complete game from Kris Benson, who left the dugout between innings throughout the game to go have sex with his wife in a hotel room overlooking center field at the Rogers Centre.

June 14 -- Kerry Wood gives Cubs fans a glimpse of the Kerry Wood of old by pitching 5 1/3 innings against the Astros without getting injured.

June 15 -- Ever-friendly first baseman Sean Casey says he enjoys playing for his new team, the Pittsburgh Pirates, but misses being a member of the Reds because Cincinnati's pitching staff allowed him to meet and talk to many more opposing players at first base after they got hits.

June 16 -- Devil Rays management decides to use the $20 million it received in luxury-tax payouts last year to redo the front office bathroom.

June 17 -- Proving he doesn't listen to critics who say he focuses too much on Latino players, Mets general manger Omar Minaya signs the entire Dominican Republic to a minor-league contract.

June 18 -- A report by PETA claims some 13,000 rats will be displaced from their natural habitat in the Bronx if the new Yankee Stadium is allowed to be constructed at its intended site.

June 19 -- Baseball's official investigation into steroids concludes, finding that any players who used steroids in the last 20 years did so unknowingly thanks to receiving what they thought were innocent vitamin B12 injections from Miguel Tejada.

June 20 -- Baseball announces that five minor-league baseball players have tested positive for steroids, prompting columnists around the country to write outraged pieces saying the players have lost their votes for the Hall of Fame.

June 21 -- George Steinbrenner threatens to rehire and then fire Mel Stottlemyre Sr. if the Yankees' pitching doesn't improve.

June 22 -- Tigers pitcher Kenny Rogers graduates early from his court-mandated anger management class after he threatens to kill the instructor.

June 23 -- Before an interleague game in Toronto against the Blue Jays, Mets first baseman Carlos Delgado refuses to stand to acknowledge the Canadian national anthem in protest of Canada's being boring.

Anna Benson
AP Photo/Jennifer Szymaszek
Surely Anna won't be wearing any Orioles gear now that she's filed for divorce.

June 24 -- Shocking pictures of Anna Benson are leaked onto the Internet showing her fully clothed.

June 25 -- With the Phillies in Boston for an interleague series, Red Sox and Phillies fans get in a huge brawl over who is the most annoying.

June 26 -- Even though the Orioles lead the major leagues with a 3.54 ERA, Baltimore fires pitching coach Leo Mazzone. "I just couldn't take the rocking back and forth anymore," manager Sam Perlozzo said. "It was either he goes or I beat him to death with a bat."

June 27 -- During the seventh-inning stretch of a home game against the Devil Rays, Marlins players pass a hat around to the dozen or so fans in attendance to raise funds for the team.

June 28 -- Red Sox consultant Bill James asks the team for a week off so he can attend a "Star Wars" convention.

June 29 -- Strolling through St. Louis on an off day, Cardinals pitcher Sidney Ponson gets jammed in the Gateway Arch and is freed only after he eats off one of his love handles.

June 30 -- The MLB Players Association tells Bud Selig it wants the existing drug policy scrapped for one based solely on the honor code, but with much stiffer penalties for players who admit using steroids.




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