Before we get too far into 2008, let's look back at the iconic images from 2007's greatest sporting events.
Unfortunately, once a year is complete, our archive system automatically deletes all the captions from old photos. So I had to use what I recall from each major event in 2007 to put in captions of my own.
I think I got pretty close to the original captions. See what you think.
• "By a show of hands, who in here have I shot before?"
• "That is so nice of you to ask. But tonight's results notwithstanding, I think Adrian Peterson has better long-term potential. So I'd like to keep my options open."
• "First of all, I am happy you are excited to have me as your coach. Clearly you don't follow the NFL very closely, and that's a good thing for me."
• "Listen, gentlemen. Do not try to be heroes out there tonight. Only one of us is Tim Tebow."
• "My team has been exposed. We're like bare arms in a sweater vest."
• "Come back here! Don't make me fire off a warning shot!"
• "Rex, I'm sure this is just the start of great things for you. It's all uphill from here."
• "Come on, do it. Ask him if that rumor about Bridget Moynahan is true."
• "What do you mean the vibrations from their speakers have broken all of our spy camera lenses?"
• "We're winning, but somehow the whole playoff experience wouldn't feel real if I didn't do this."
• "Maybe if I just turn and throw it straight out of bounds, no one will intercept it."
• "If this sheet blows down, America is going to think the Janet Jackson thing was G-rated."
• "Congratulations on becoming the first black coach to lose a Super Bowl."
• "Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, baby. Rubbin' is racin'."
• "What?! $3.49 for regular unleaded?! That's insane. I'll find another pit stop someplace else."
• "Help! Help! Help me! All of my sponsor logos are getting ruined!"
• "I'm OK. I'm good actually. Bleeding helped relieve some of the pressure behind my eyes."
• "OK, bring out the mask. I'm sorry. I just can't take it anymore."
• "What direction is Kentucky? That way?"
• "You'll love this jacket. I've found it gives great support through the chest."
• "He has nice hair. I wonder if that look would work for me."
• "It would be more fitting to have a Raiders jersey with No. 2 on it, if you know what I mean."
• "That was quite a long wait you had. How many embarrassing pictures were you in during that time that will someday make their way to the Internet? Fifteen? Twenty?"
• "This Saturday night you're going to find out what it's like to get punched by a man who likes to wear ladies' clothing."
• "I have decided to rejoin the Yankees, fans! Also, in a related hiring, Brian McNamee has rejoined the team's training staff."
• "Yay! We finally get to shave!"
• "Ohmigod. If Tony doesn't get me a wedding ring this big, I'm going to be soooooo pissed at him."
• "I've never been in a photo with three inanimate objects before."
• "Thank you for coming up here, Mr. Oden. But where is your grandson? No, no -- I'm kidding, I'm kidding. That joke is so played out. You don't look a day over 40."
• "That's awesome. You're totally blinding the queen with your plate."
• "I am so excited to be here in America. Really. My ankle is literally throbbing with excitement."
• "Tim Donaghy is just one rogue ref."
• "OK, maybe he is one of five rogue referees. But that's still not a lot."
• "OK, okay. He's one of at least 10, OK? Are you happy now? All of them are corrupt, alright? Either completely incompetent or corrupt. There, I said it."
• "This is the Garden, where some of the greatest ever played. I'm talking Dino Radja, Dana Barros, Ron Mercer, Jiri Welsch. The list goes on."
• "Little help. Little help here, please. I tried to bow, but I think I pulled something in my back because I'm so top-heavy."
• "Thank you for your support through all these years. You are all welcome to visit me in jail any time."
• "This would make an awesome hood ornament on my Buick LeSabre."
• "I am sorry for what I did. And I want everyone to know I'm not some animal. If I was, my friends probably would have put me down long ago."
• "Hey, don't look at me like that. It's not my fault."
• "What do you mean we've been compromised? #^%&. OK, here's what you do. Go destroy all of my documents. All but my contract with Beelzebub, Prince of Darkness."
• "Well, at least I have the Knicks' season to look forward to."
• "OK, I think I determined why all of these flies are attracted to you. There is a huge brown skidmark on the back of your pants. Would you like to tell me how that got there?"
• "I'm sorry. I'm not used to having any estrogen in my body. It makes me tear up easily."
• "Please tell me that's water they just wasted by dumping on me and not beer."
• "Yay! No Jimmy Fallon!"
• "Yeah, I took it from my parents' maid. She doesn't know. She'll probably get fired."
• "Hmm. A $108 million payroll. I'm not sure what I can do with that."
• "This can not be happening. We're being badly outcoached by Dave Wannstedt."
• "Looks like your draft stock just went in the crapper, buddy. Sorry.
• "Mark my words: If you want to hire someone to help further destroy the credibility of your sport, you can't hire a better man than Sen. George Mitchell."
• "Remember when Rafael Palmeiro did this in Congress? Man, that was hilarious."
• "I've got Mitchell reports here, Mitchell reports! Come and get 'em! You can't know who to asterisk if you don't have a report."
DJ Gallo is the founder and sole writer of the sports satire site SportsPickle.com. He is also a regular contributor to ESPN The Magazine and has written for The Onion and Cracked. His first book "SportsPickle Presents: The View from the Upper Deck" is on sale now.