A week ago, I provided captions for some of the best photos from the first week of the Olympics. Today, I give you captions from the second week of the Beijing Games.

So, you see, I stayed productive throughout the entire Olympics -- unlike some people we know (coughMichaelPhelpscough).

• "You have to lay off the steroids, dude."

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Alexander Joe/AFP/Getty Images

"I said no techno!" "Wait, that's techno? Oh snap! Oowah! Oowah! Oowah! Oowah!"

• "Oh, no. I'm getting cauliflower forehead."

• "We caught her! Now let's taunt her with a celebratory dance!"

• "You ignored a lot of blatant dives today. Great job."

• "Thanks, Briana. You still suck, though."

• "Cannonbaaaaaaaaaaaaal!"

• "Maybe we would have won if we had worn our spikes."

• "This photo is going to come back to haunt me if I ever decide to run for president."

• "Right here! Right here! I'm open! Pass me the ball!"

• "OK. Now, before they leave the court, who can think of some Croatian stereotypes?"

• "Let your blessings shine down upon us, dear Barbaro."

• "Little help? Anyone? I threw my back out."

• "Let's sprint to the finish!"

• "No way. I just asked Kobe how mine tastes, too."

• "Topspin! Noooooo! That is my least favorite of all the spins!"

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Timothy A. Clary/AFP/Getty Images

"When I said I could dunk I was kind of hoping they would put me on the team."

• "I just hope this loss hasn't devastated our homeland."

• "Wear another man's sweat-drenched shirt? Why, yes! I'd love to!"

• "I might look impenetrable on the outside. But I don't think most people realize that on the inside, there's a complex, emotional person with real hopes and dreams."

• "Mine reeks of scalp." "Mine, too."

• "Just wave. The crowd thinks you're Freddy Adu."

• "I think those orange slices were bad."

• "Yeah, that's doin' it Milwaukee style!"

• "What are you doing?! Do I have to do everything in this operation?!"

• "Now, let's welcome my longtime singing partner Hall to the stage!"

DJ Gallo is the founder and sole writer of the sports satire site SportsPickle.com. He also is a regular contributor to ESPN The Magazine and has written for The Onion and Cracked. His first book, "SportsPickle Presents: The View from the Upper Deck," is on sale now.