The economy is a wreck. If Tiger Woods and LeBron James are losing huge endorsement contracts, what hope do we mere sports fans have at remaining financially solvent?

The answer? Some. Maybe. But only if you heed my 10 Tips for Sports Fans for Weathering the Recession.

Now, it's true, I never took an economics class beyond high school. And, yes, I once took a significant portion of the money I made working at an aluminum plant one summer in college and used it to buy stock in Webvan. But the people who are supposed to know a lot about the economy haven't done too well of late, so I feel I am just as qualified. Perhaps even more so.

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AP Photo/Richard Drew

Wall Street might be in a slump, but Page 2 is here with some helpful financial tips.

1. Reap the rewards of your wise investments. Remember when you were a kid, all those baseball cards you collected were one day going to make you rich and let you retire early? Now's the time you were waiting for. That mint condition Ryne Sandberg rookie card was worth just $16 way back when you were a kid. But now it's worth … $16.10. Umm … wooooooooooo!

2. Drop your HDTV package. This can save you hundreds of dollars a year. As enjoyable as watching sports in high-definition may be, remember: Shapely sideline reporters are vastly outnumbered by misshapen play-by-play and color commentators.

3. Avoid buying food at the game. Hot dogs, drink and snacks for a family of four at a sporting event can cost a small fortune. So tuck a granola bar or a bag of peanuts into your coat or pants pocket. True, many venues don't allow outside food. But when you are getting patted down upon entering the stadium, make sure you have a witness with you to overhear the security guard say, "Sir, are these your nuts?" You might just win yourself a few million dollars in a sexual harassment lawsuit.

4. Be a Gruden. Stuck with a mortgage you can't afford? Then stop paying it! You don't need a house when you can just sleep at the office, like Jon Gruden. You might even get a raise when your boss notices all the late nights and early mornings you're putting in.

5. Be active in the market. Even if you pull a Gruden, your job might not be safe. So if your employer isn't going to be loyal to you, don't be loyal to your employer -- spend most of your time at work online managing your various fantasy teams. A crucial waiver-wire pickup made when you were supposed to be making sales calls could earn you the league's $175 winner's share.

6. Re-evaluate your stock portfolio. Every financial expert will counsel that it's not wise to panic during a bear market and dump your holdings -- especially in regard to a long-term investment like a 401(k). But you can be too patient. For example, it's really starting to look like the XFL isn't going to make it. So maybe diversify your portfolio beyond WWE stock.

7. Sell yourself. GoldenPalace.com once paid Bernard Hopkins $100,000 to wear a temporary tattoo on his back during a boxing match. I bet they might give you three or four bucks to wear a temporary tattoo during your rec league, slow-pitch softball games … and it could go up to $10 or $12 if it's a permanent tattoo.

8. Invest in gold. Gold has historically kept its value even in poor economic times. But you must get good value for your investment dollar. That's why I suggest buying only this gold. That's right -- 24-karat gold Brett Favre coins. If the new administration really wants to get the economy turned around, I say make these coins our new currency. Maybe it's a risk, but so is throwing the ball 60 yards into double coverage. I mean, what would world currency markets value more -- money with this face or this one?

9. Be a front-runner. Worried you might get laid off? Then head out tonight to your local sports bar wearing a Titans hat and Texas Tech sweatshirt. Then tell everyone in earshot how you love the Phillies and Celtics. You'll wake up in the hospital, content in the knowledge that no company is heartless enough to fire someone who was just mercilessly beaten to within an inch of his life.

10. Consider a career change. Experts say jobs in health care, education and government are usually stable during a poor economy. So look into those. But also consider a fourth option that never suffers layoffs: professional athlete. In fact, that's probably my best tip of all. Just become a professional athlete. Really, you should do it. They make pretty good money.

DJ Gallo is the founder and sole writer of the sports satire site SportsPickle.com. He also is a regular contributor to ESPN The Magazine and has written for The Onion and Cracked. His first book, "SportsPickle Presents: The View from the Upper Deck," is on sale now.