We already prepared for the first batch of bowl games. So let's take a look at the second slate of games now that the New Year's and BCS bowls are about to kick off.

Again, I asked famous school attendees and alums to preview all the matchups for me.

Bell Helicopter Armed Forces Bowl: Houston (7-5) vs. Air Force (8-4)
When: Wednesday, Dec. 31; Noon ET (ESPN) in Fort Worth, Texas

"Air Force has a dynamic rushing attack, and Houston's run defense is as thin as turnip soup. And don't forget that the Cougars haven't won a bowl game since 1980 -- a streak that's longer and stickier than pulled taffy over a hickory fire. To my fellow Cougars, I say, 'Courage.'"
-- Dan Rather, former "CBS Evening News" anchor, attended the University of Houston

Brut Sun Bowl: No. 24 Oregon State (8-4) vs. No. 18 Pittsburgh (9-3)
When: Wednesday, Dec. 31; Noon ET (CBS) in El Paso, Texas

"This will be the only bowl game Pitt has played in since Dave Wannstedt arrived on campus four years ago. But due to their improved play this season and Wannstedt's consistently outstanding recruiting, I am bullish on Pitt's future. That is unless I receive some inside information that makes me think otherwise."
-- Mark Cuban, attended the University of Pittsburgh

Gaylord Hotels Music City Bowl: Boston College (9-4) vs. Vanderbilt (6-6)
When: Wednesday, Dec. 31; 3:30 p.m. ET (ESPN) in Nashville, Tenn.

"In the college bowl system, the people are misrepresented by two separate yet equally imprudent groups: the NCAA, who allows the crime, and the BCS commissioners, who leave us with games that mean absolutely nothing. This game is one of those stories. Oh. Sorry. I almost forgot … dong-dong."
-- Fred Thompson, "Law & Order" actor, Vanderbilt University Law School '67

Insight Bowl: Kansas (7-5) vs. Minnesota (7-5)
When: Wednesday, Dec. 31; 6:00 p.m. ET (NFL Network) in Tempe, Ariz.

"These two teams remind me of the Texas State Fightin' Armadillos team I played on in the movie 'Necessary Roughness' -- we weren't perfect, we had our problems, but ultimately we were successful. I just wish Mark Mangino had been our coach in the movie. It probably would have been a lot funnier with 10 or 20 easy fat jolly jokes thrown in."
-- Scott Bakula, actor, attended the University of Kansas

Chick-fil-A Bowl: LSU (7-5) vs. No. 14 Georgia Tech (9-3)
When: Wednesday, Dec. 31; 7:30 p.m. ET (ESPN) in Atlanta

"If you've lost five of your last eight games … you might not be a bowl-worthy team. If your only win in the last 60 days was by nine points at home to Troy … you might not be a bowl-worthy team. If your most recent loss came against 4-7 Arkansas … you might not be a bowl-worthy team. If you opened the season ranked No. 7 and fell completely out of the Top 25 … you might not be a bowl-worthy team. If your highest-rated quarterback is a transfer from Harvard … you might not be a bowl-worthy team. And if you have no creativity and use the same exact setup in the majority of your jokes … you might be a famous comedian."
-- Jeff Foxworthy, Georgia Tech '79

Outback Bowl: South Carolina (7-5) vs. Iowa (8-4)
When: Thursday, Jan. 1; 11:00 a.m. ET (ESPN) in Tampa, Fla.

"Demi tells me that back when she was my age, Steve Spurrier was, like, one of the best freaking coaches in the whole world. But then he went to the Redskins and was terrible. And then South Carolina thought he'd make them great, too, and he hasn't done that either. But he made millions at each stop. Awesome! He didn't just punk one team; he punked two. That's the rare double-punk! Score! I think me and Steve could totally be brahs."
-- Ashton Kutcher, attended the University of Iowa

Capital One Bowl: No. 15 Georgia (9-3) vs. No. 18 Michigan State (9-3)
When: Thursday, Jan. 1; 1:00 p.m. ET (ABC) in Orlando, Fla.

"If Michigan State wants to win, they must dial '23' -- that's '2-3' -- for Javon Ringer. If Georgia wants to win, they must dial up '7' -- that's the number '7' -- for Matthew Stafford. See you at the end of the game for the results show. Seacrest out."
-- Ryan Seacrest, attended the University of Georgia

Gator Bowl: Nebraska (8-4) vs. Clemson (7-5)
When: Thursday, Jan. 1; 1:00 p.m. ET (CBS) in Jacksonville, Fla.

"Pre … hard knocks … fish. Again, that is: pre … hard knocks … fish." [Opens envelope. Removes question inside and reads it.] "What are three common safety schools for those who can't get into Clemson?"
-- Johnny Carson, University of Nebraska '49

Rose Bowl: No. 8 Penn State (11-1) vs. No. 5 USC (11-1)
When: Thursday, Jan. 1; 4:30 p.m. ET (ABC) in Pasadena, Calif.

"That's one small step for Joe, one gian- … nope, that's just another small step for Joe. And another. And another. Yeah, I'm sorry, but I think Joe Paterno is too old to match wits with Pete Carroll in a big game like this."
-- Neil Armstrong, astronaut, USC '70

FedEx Orange Bowl: No. 12 Cincinnati (11-2) vs. No. 19 Virginia Tech (9-4)
When: Thursday, Jan. 1; 8:30 p.m. ET (FOX) in Miami

"The sport of football was only in its infancy when I was president, but even I never saw an offense as primitive as Virginia Tech's. I mean, really -- six passing touchdowns for the entire season? Cincinnati will devour that offense like I lay into a legal brief. Or a roasted pig."
-- President William Howard Taft, University of Cincinnati Law School 1880

Cotton Bowl: No. 25 Mississippi (8-4) vs. No. 7 Texas Tech (11-1)
When: Friday, Jan. 2; 2:00 p.m. ET (FOX) in Dallas

"I love this game's story line. A lovable underdog from the South travels to the big city to take on a big and scary behemoth led by a fast-talking supposed genius. And then there are a bunch of fake-sounding names, like Graham Harrell, Baron Batch, Dexter McCluster and Houston Nutt. Heck, now all I have to do is throw in some dialogue and I just crapped out my next paperback."
-- John Grisham, University of Mississippi Law School '81

AutoZone Liberty Bowl: Kentucky (6-6) vs. East Carolina (9-4)

When: Friday, Jan. 2; 5:00 p.m. ET (ESPN) in Memphis, Tenn.

"The Wildcats started out great at 4-0, but then, out of nowhere, they fell apart and lost six of their last eight. It was kind of like meeting a really hot girl, only to discover she has soaking wet pits."
-- Ashley Judd, University of Kentucky '07

Allstate Sugar Bowl: No. 6 Utah (12-0) vs. No. 4 Alabama (12-1)
When: Friday, Jan. 2; 8:00 p.m. ET (FOX) in New Orleans

"Alabama's best player just had illegal contact with an agent. Nearly a dozen Crimson Tide players have been arrested in the last two years. And Nick Saban is not a man anyone can trust. Wait -- what? All that is true? Well, then, umm, I guess I am not needed here."
-- Karl Rove, attended the University of Utah

International Bowl: Buffalo (8-5) vs. Connecticut (7-5)
When: Saturday, Jan. 3; Noon ET (ESPN2) in Toronto

"UConn lost five of seven to close the season, but they should be OK in this game as long as they let running back Donald Brown go wild. He is amazing. When I watch him I go: 'Mmmm … oh … oooh … oh … ohhh … oh, yes … oh … oh … oh … oh, yes … that's it … yes … yes … yes … YES … YES … YES … YES … OH … YES … YES … YES … YES!' Just because they finished the regular season poorly doesn't mean they need a massive makeover. Sometimes those only make things worse. Far, far worse."
-- Meg Ryan, attended UConn

Tostitos Fiesta Bowl: No. 10 Ohio State (10-2) vs. No. 3 Texas (11-1)
When: Monday, Jan. 5; 8:00 p.m. ET (FOX) in Glendale, Ariz.

"George and I are looking forward to this game. Not as much as we are looking forward to getting out of the White House, of course. But we are excited. You know, I remember when George choked on that pretzel a few years back. He said, 'I felt like I was Ohio State in a BCS bowl.' I laughed pretty hard about that. Hopefully our Longhorns will pull it out. George has promised Mack Brown that if they win, he's got an official presidential 'Heckuva job, Brownie,' coming his way."
-- Laura Bush, University of Texas '73

GMAC Bowl: No. 22 Ball State (12-1) vs. Tulsa (10-3)
When: Tuesday, Jan. 6; 8:00 p.m. ET (ESPN) in Mobile, Ala.

"Tulsa, what are you doin'? You've got to turn things around. You started off 8-0 and then just fell apart. If you don't right the ship right now, Ball State is going to embarrass you. Worst of all, they're going to embarrass your friends, family and fans, too -- and then you'll have nothing. You'll be out on the street -- nothing but a bowl loser. Are you ready to take responsibility for your season? Are you ready to take responsibility for your play? Because that's the only way."
-- Dr. Phil, attended the University of Tulsa

FedEx BCS National Championship Game: No. 2 Florida (12-1) vs. No. 1 Oklahoma (12-1)
When: Thursday, Jan. 8; 8:00 p.m. ET (FOX) in Miami

"To build a college football national championship game, you need the right materials. First, randomly select two one-loss teams from among many, making sure not to use an undefeated team like Utah. Then affix the teams you selected to the national title game using a special epoxy pulled from the behinds of the BCS commissioners. There. You're finished. It may not look sound, but good luck trying to destroy it. And if you've built it correctly, you'll have an extra screw left behind for Texas. This is Bob Vila."
-- Bob Vila, University of Florida '69

DJ Gallo is the founder of and sole writer for the sports satire site SportsPickle.com. He also is a regular contributor to ESPN The Magazine and has written for The Onion and Cracked. His first book, "SportsPickle Presents: The View from the Upper Deck," is on sale now.