Editor's note: Throughout the Olympics, Page 2 writers will argue the merits of including various sports in the Games.

They say Tiger started golfing when he was 3 years old. Big deal. I bought my kid a toy cell phone when he was three months and he texted his first sentence -- "I ptty" -- shortly thereafter.

Since then I have become the Richard Williams of texting -- pushing, prodding, willing my preteen to test the limits of unlimited texting on our family plan. Each morning he works on his speed with channel surfing while changing songs on his iPod. Occasionally he cross-trains with thumb wrestling, channel surfing and pointing at new stuff he wants me to buy. Each exercise moves us a millisecond closer to our goal -- the fastest texter to have ever texted.

And we will capture that glorious title at the Olympics. Now, the cynic thinks texting would never be an event, but I challenge that thinking. The hand-eye coordination needed to drive and text is that of a shortstop. The speed it takes to fire off 10 messages before you deplane is equal to track and field. And like a gymnast, you have to be flexible, strong and accurate. And don't go thinking anyone can text on a high level. There is a huge difference between weekend golfers and Tiger Woods, and there's a huge difference between you and someone as gifted as my son. He's an incredible text walker -- especially in a crowded mall -- and the text medley? Sick. I've seen him make plans with four different people during a commercial break. Some athletes visit the zone. My son lives there. And when he's standing on the podium collecting medal after medal, I'll be there, like Richard Williams, dancing in the stands. And paying the phone bill.