By Graham Hays
Page 2

Is there no such thing as true love anymore? Jesse Palmer and Jessica Bowlin have broken off their non-engagement, parting ways just weeks after the final episode of ABC's "The Bachelor" aired. We thought these two were forever -- or at least for longer than Carmen and Dave -- but these intercepted emails suggest it was never meant to be.

To: backupqb@hotmail.com
From: archiesotherkid@nygiants.com
Subject: And twins
Dude, what's going on for this weekend? All I'm saying is the Olsen twins are throwing their 18th birthday bash and I'm not Jeremy Shockey, so I'm going to need a wingman. You in?

To: backupqb@hotmail.com
From: notjsimpson@yahoo.com
Subject: hi honey
Jessica Bowlin
 

Jesse ... I can't wait to see you this weekend. Now that the final show has finally aired, we don't need to sneak around anymore. It will be so wonderful to be together in public and not have to worry about people seeing us. Everything is OK out here, but I can't help wishing I was out there with you, or you were out here with me. I spent the entire lecture today doodling the words "Mrs. Jessica Palmer" in my notebook, just like some crazy schoolgirl! Can you believe it? I totally missed out on what the professor was saying. I think she was talking about the no-fault divorce laws and the statutes on alimony out here in California, but who knows. I'll just have to get the notes from someone or hope it isn't on the final. All right, I'll quit bugging you with all this stuff. Can't wait to see you ... what time does your flight get in again?

To: archiesotherkid@nygiants.com
From: backupqb@hotmail.com
Subject: Re: And twins
No can do, Eli. I haven't seen Jessica in a couple of weeks and I think she's starting to freak out about things. I've got to go out to California if this thing is ever going to work. You saw the way I threw the ball in mini-camp. I may be looking for work in August. And I can't very well be the next Nick Lachey if I'm single.

To: backupqb@hotmail.com
From: archiesotherkid@nygiants.com
Subject: Re: And twins
JP -- You know how much of a square Peyton is? Yeah, well the guy used to party hard enough to make Colin Farrell look like bible-thumping Kurt. Now he's married. You know what he's doing this weekend? Breaking down film of the Cardinals. And the Colts don't even play the Cardinals this year! Don't let it happen to you.

To: notjsimpson@yahoo.com
From: backupqb@hotmail.com
Subject: Re: hi honey
Sorry its taken me so long to reply babe. I hope the rest of your day went ok and you were able to get the notes for that final. You know, I don't want you flunking out of law school because of me, so if it would help, why don't you type of a summary of that no-fault divorce stuff and send it to me? You know, just so you feel better prepared in case it's on the final. And about this weekend, I'm not sure I'm going to be able to make it out there after all. Something came up with Eli and I just think he really needs some guidance to get him through a tough situation. It's tough being a rookie, all alone in New York.

To: backupqb@hotmail.com
From: notjsimpson@yahoo.com
Subject: Re: hi honey
You're not coming??? I guess I understand. I mean, the way you're willing to take Eli under your wing is one of the things I love about you, but I really miss you. Can I come out there? There are some good last-minute fares on Orbitz, and I could just hang out at your apartment while you help out Eli. I really want to see you.

To: notjsimpson@yahoo.com
From: backupqb@hotmail.com
Subject: Re: hi honey
I'm bummed too, but I don't think it makes much sense for you to make all that effort to come out here. Eli says he's willing to work all night on this thing, and I think it will be good for him. It's definitely something Kurt could never do, you know? It's just one more week, I promise. We'll see each other soon.

To: mopupaisle5@nygiants.com
From: backupqb@hotmail.com
Subject: Help
Kurt -- I really need some spiritual advice, because I think God is testing me right now. I think I need to break up with Jessica, but I'm not sure I'm listening to the right voices inside me. Any advice, much appreciated.

To: backupqb@hotmail.com
From: mopupaisle5@nygiants.com
Subject: Re: Help
All I can tell you is what is said in Proverbs 31:10-11 ... "When one finds a worthy wife, her value is far beyond pearls. Her husband entrusting his heart to her, has an unfailing prize." Oh yeah, and don't let her call any radio shows.

To: backupqb@hotmail.com
From: notjsimpson@yahoo.com
Subject: Us
Jesse, is something going on? I feel like you've been really distant lately. Does this have to do with what happened the last time I was out there? I told you there is no reason to be embarrassed about performance anxiety, it happens to a lot of people. It's not your fault everything came up short. I mean, it was your first time, right? You can talk to me about these things, I'm not going to hold it against you. Anyway, I'm sure Coach Coughlin understands. It was a whole new playbook and you aren't used to throwing 20-yard out patterns.

To: notjsimpson@yahoo.com
From: backupqb@hotmail.com
Subject: Re: Us
Jesse Palmer
 

Jessica, I don't think this is going to work out. This is just too much for me right now. I mean, you're out there in California and I'm out here in New York. What we had was really great and nobody can ever take away those moments we shared. Especially when the show goes into syndication. But I'm just not at a point in my life where I need to put myself first on the depth chart ... metaphorically, of course. We can talk about this if you want, my free minutes start after 7:00, but I really think this is what's best for both of us.

To: backupqb@hotmail.com
From: notjsimpson@yahoo.com
Subject: Re: Us
That's just great. I passed on a wedding proposal from Marc Anthony for this? I hope you have a wonderul season ... in Edmonton.

To: bachelorbabe@hotmail.com
From: backupqb@hotmail.com
Subject: Hey
Hey Trish, long time no talk. What are you up to these days?

Graham Hays writes "Out of the Box" five days a week in-between moonlighting for Page 2. He can be reached at graham.hays@espn3.com.




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