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It's all so overwhelming! 10,000 athletes. 30-some sports. Countless more individual events. Griping media on the quadrennial boondoggle and the always-welcome opportunity to flick on the TV at some ungodly hour and be able to catch, say, women's handball.
Helping to sort through all the clutter is the very special, once-in-four-years "What's Hot, What's Not" List for the Summer Olympics. Use it to keep the names straight -- or simply to sound like you know what you're talking about at the water cooler.
| WHAT'S HOT, WHAT'S NOT: 2004 SUMMER OLYMPICS | ||
| Category | Hot | Not Hot |
| Biggest of Big Names |  Michael Phelps (Swimming) |
 Ian Thorpe (Swimming) |
| Worry (Besides The Obvious) | Heat! | Wrigley-like construction failure |
| Steroids | You mean you're not? | Sprinting's little secret |
| Bring back the nakedness! |  Jennie Finch |
 Carlos Boozer |
| Full-body unis | Swimming | Track/Field |
| Heart-warmer | Rulon Gardner (Wrestling) | Athens prostitutes' on strike |
| Maurice Greene | "Slo-Mo" | "G.O.A.T." |
| LeBron |  Benchwarmer? |
 King of Greece |
| Hot spot | Olympic Village | Hoops Cruise Ship |
| Wheaties fave | Courtney Kupets (Gymnastics) | USA Hoops (No gold, no box) |
| Athalon | Decath | Triath |
| Tennis | Anything Williams | Federer vs. Roddick |
| That's a sport? | Trampoline | Table-Tennis |
| Soccer stars | U.S. women (last hurrah?) | U.S. men (non-qualifiers) |
| Must-have accessory | Roots parade retro shirt | Anything cowboy hat |
| Swimming's new hottie |  Natalie Coughlin |
 Amanda Beard (So '96) |
| Most intense to watch | Weight Lifting | Sailing |
| Made memorable in "Old School" | Rhythmic Gymnastics | Rings (Men's gymnastics) |
| "Next poker" | Softball | Beach Volleyball |
| Youngster |  15-y.o. Katie Hoff (Swimming) |
 19-y.o. Carmelo Anthony (Hoops) |
| Rowing | Sculling (Two oars) | Sweeping (One oar) |
| Don't mess with... | The judo guys | Come on: Any Olympian could whup you. |
| Next Boxing Champ | Jason Estrada (U.S.) | Some reality chump |
| Best Nicknames | "Hockeyroos" (Australian Women's Field Hockey) | "Dream Team" (Please, can we just stop already?) |
| Behind Closed Doors | Athlete hook-ups | Who's doping? |
| Minutiae to watch for | Re-designed gym vault | Excessive celebrations |
| Sentimental track fave | Gail Devers (5th Olympics) | Disgraced Sydney 4x400 team |
| Marion Jones |  Clouded by controversy |
 Anything like 2000 |
| Must-see | Anytime Phelps gets in the pool | U.S. hoops in bronze-medal game |
| Fave to win most medals | U.S. (but not in men's hoops) | Russia (this ain't 1976) |
And some general predictions for the many sports (not event-specific, just a general bandwagon check):
| PAGE 2 MEDAL PICKS | ||
| Category | What's that anthem? | Close...but no |
| Archery | South Korea | Italy |
| Badminton | China | Denmark |
| Baseball |  Cuba |
 Well, not the U.S. |
| Basketball | Lithuania | U.S. |
| Boxing | Cuba | Russia |
| Canoe/Kayak | E. Europe | Oz |
| Cycling |  Germany |
 Where's Lance? |
| Diving | China | Uh, anyone? |
| Equestrian | Great Britain | Let 'em have one |
| Fencing | France | Russia |
| Field Hockey | Australia | Uh, U.S. Men? Not. |
| Gymnastics |  U.S. |
 Russia (it's close) |
| Judo | The Netherlands (?!) | Badass Brazil |
| Pentathalon | Hungary | Great Britain |
| Rowing | Canada | Italy |
| Sailing | Toss-Up | Land-locked countries |
| Shooting | Scary Euros | There are 2 dozen events! |
| Soccer |  Argentina men |
 U.S. women |
| Softball | U.S. | The other randoms |
| Swimming | U.S. | Australia (and they're ticked) |
| Sych. Swimming | Russia | "Synch or swim": Get it? |
| Table Tennis |  China |
 No Gump to save the rest |
| Tae Kwon Do | China | Nice variety |
| Handball | Germany | France (is this a big rivalry?) |
| Tennis | U.S. | Random others |
| Track and Field | U.S. (short) | Not U.S. (long) |
| Triathalon | More Oz factor | U.S. |
| Volleyball |  Brazil |
 U.S. |
| Water Polo | Hungary | More Hungary: Who knew? |
| Weight Lifting | Turkey | E. Europe types |
| Wrestling | Russia/Cuba | How 'bout those women? |
Dan Shanoff is a columnist for Page 2. His "Daily Quickie" commentary appears every weekday morning.
