The Matrix (1999)
A nondescript room. CANSECOPHEUS and NEO sit across from each other in cracked burgundy leather chairs. CANSECOPHEUS wears a long black coat and circular mirrored glasses. NEO wears a look of dunderheaded befuddlement, same as in all his other movies.

CANSECOPHEUS: Do you want to know what it is, Neo?

NEO swallows and nods his head.

CANSECOPHEUS: It's that feeling you've had ever since the late 1980s. That feeling that Sammy Sosa wasn't just corking his bat. You don't know what it is, but it's there, like a splinter in your mind, driving you mad, driving you to me. But what is it?

CANSECOPHEUS leans back. His chair creaks.

CANSECOPHEUS: The Juice is everywhere. It's all around us, even in this locker room. You can see it in Mark McGwire's arms, or in Jason Giambi's grand jury testimony, or in the Great Home Run Chase. You feel it when another home run splashes into McCovey Cove. It is the world that has been pulled over your eyes to blind you from the truth.

NEO: What truth?

CANSECOPHEUS: That you are a slave, Neo. You dig the long ball, like every other fan. You are kept inside a prison of your own giddy denial. A prison of your own mind.

Outside, the wind batters a loose pane of glass.

CANSECOPHEUS: Fortunately for me, no one can be told what the Juice is. You have to buy my book for yourself.

NEO: How?

CANSECOPHEUS: With a check. A credit card. Preferably cash. Hold out your wallet.

CANSECOPHEUS removes a $20 bill from NEO's wallet. In NEO's right hand, he places a book.

CANSECOPHEUS: This is your last chance. Open these pages, and there is no going back. You keep your money, the story ends. You wake in your bed, turn on "SportsCenter" and believe whatever you want to believe. Also, I file for personal bankruptcy.

NEO examines the cover of the book, notices a photo of CANSECOPHEUS with a caption reading "The Chemist." His palms feel moist.

CANSECOPHEUS: You keep reading and you stay in Wonderland. And I show you just how deep the rabbit hole goes.

NEO hesitates.

CANSECOPHEUS: Remember that all I am offering is the truth. And also the final word on whether I ever slept with Madonna.

NEO: Whoa.

Dr. No (1962)
Morning on a tropical beach. AGENT CANSECO-007 awakens to a woman singing "Underneath the Mango Tree." The woman, HONEY RYDER, emerges from the sea wearing a bikini and a knife belt.

HONEY RYDER: What are you doing here? Looking for shells?

CANSECO-007, wearing a Speedo and a house arrest bracelet around his ankle, gazes at a full-length mirror jutting from the sand. He flexes his pecs, throws back his hair and turns around. Looking over his shoulder, he admires his firm buttocks.

AGENT CANSECO-007: No, I'm just looking.

Return of the Jedi (1983)
Inside the Death Star. An X-Wing fighter heads toward a huge reactor. The Millennium Falcon follows.

LANDO: All right, Wedge. Go for the power regulator on the north tower.

WEDGE: Copy, Gold Leader. On my way.

The X-Wing fires a series of proton torpedoes at the power regulator. The Falcon fires missiles at the main reactor. A chain of explosions erupts. Both ships maneuver out of the Death Star superstructure. Aboard a rebel star cruiser, ADM. ACKBAR leans against a bridge railing.

Continued...


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Hruby
THE CANSECONATOR