Bad enough that Bill Parcells reportedly wakes up choking on his own bile following Dallas Cowboys losses.

Worse still, he has to manage Terrell Owens.

What's a media-despising, control-freak coach supposed to do with an oft-rebellious player who has more than a passing familiarity with television cameras? Page 2 is here to help. Just consult our handy survival guide.

(As for the bile, try Pepto-Bismol).