So why did Major League Soccer drop a staggering $250 million nearly the price of the entire U.S. national team to secure the services of English footie superstar David Beckham?
Was it the swerving free kicks? The stylish 'do? Becks' stated desire to work with kids? The tantalizing prospect of a Spice Girls reunion?
Perhaps it was all of the above. Or maybe, just maybe, the league had a more sinister motive like, say, total world sports domination.
The proof? Check out the following, recovered by Page 2's crack investigative staff read: we made it up from a bar near MLS headquarters just hours after the deal went down.
Patrick Hruby is a columnist for Page 2. Sound off to Page 2 here.