Commentary

Page 2's sublime NFL scouting quiz

Originally Published: May 12, 2010
By Patrick Hruby | Page 2

NFL combineESPN.com Illustration

It's official: When it comes to dumb questions, Super Bowl media day has company -- namely, NFL combine interviews, where Miami Dolphins general manager Jeff Ireland's infamous query to Dez Bryant (asking if his mother was a prostitute) is simply the tasteless tip of a mind-numbing iceberg of stupidity.

To wit: McDonald's or Burger King?

Pillow or blanket?

So went just two of the silly questions asked of draft prospect Geno Atkins, whose stated fast-food hamburger preference clearly predicts his future pro football performance. In turn, inquiries like that make Page 2 wonder: Are combine interviews more moronic than media day? Are they even more frivolous than the famously frothy Cosmopolitan magazine quiz?

There's only one way to find out. Take our quiz below, and see if you can identify the source of each question: NFL combine, Super Bowl media day, or Cosmo?

Your future employment as an NFL GM may depend on it.

1. Are you straight or gay?
(a) Combine
(b) Media day
(c) Cosmo

2. Do you believe in voodoo, and can I have a lock of your hair?
(a) Combine
(b) Media day
(c) Cosmo

3. If you were a kitchen appliance, what kind of kitchen appliance would you be?
(a) Combine
(b) Media day
(c) Cosmo

4. What size panties do you think you'd wear?
(a) Combine
(b) Media day
(c) Cosmo

5. If a teammate told you that you were sitting in his seat, would you move, or fight him for it?
(a) Combine
(b) Media day
(c) Cosmo

6. Do you wear a G-string or a jock strap?
(a) Combine
(b) Media day
(c) Cosmo

7. Can I have your pants?
(a) Combine
(b) Media day
(c) Cosmo

8. Do you kill pets?
(a) Combine
(b) Media day
(c) Cosmo

9. Who's your favorite Kardashian sister?
(a) Combine
(b) Media day
(c) Cosmo

10. Can I measure your bicep?
(a) Combine
(b) Media day
(c) Cosmo

Answer Key: 1. a, asked of Geno Atkins; 2. b, asked of Kurt Warner; 3. a, asked of Torell Troup; 4. b, asked of Detron Smith; 5. a, asked of Arthur Moats; 6. a, asked of Gerald McCoy; 7. b, asked of Kent Hull; 8. a, asked of an unidentified player; 9. b, asked of Marques Colston; 10. b, asked of Matt Leinart(!) … Surprise! None of the answers are from Cosmo.

Sources: Buffalo News, ESPN.com, NFL Network, Lexis-Nexis, AOL Fanhouse, SI.com

Patrick Hruby is a freelance writer and ESPN.com contributor. Contact him at PatrickHruby.net.


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