Page 2 shames Donald Trump
Editor's note: In light of Donald Trump pulling out of driving the pace car at the upcoming Indianapolis 500, Page 2 issues the following statement:
"Page 2 hates to say we told you so. Actually, that's not true. We love to say we told you so.
As such: we told you so. Ha ha.
Also, we're honored. Very honored. And proud. Not proud of Donald Trump. Proud of ourselves. Very proud, actually, because we've been able to accomplish something that nobody else has been able to accomplish: get Trump to withdraw from his shady, disturbing and possibly illegal Indianapolis 500 pace car-driving duties.
Yes, there was a Facebook group dedicated to dumping Trump. And yes, members of the Indiana State Legislature were concerned. But only Page 2 demanded to see Trump's driver's license. Only we pointed out that it was pretty unusual for a guy who typically rolls in a chauffeured limo -- that is, when he's not using a private chopper to get around Manhattan and/or the back nine -- suddenly and mysteriously finding himself behind the wheel of the most important car in the country, only no one has definitive, documented legal proof that Trump is qualified to do so.
Trump claims he is pulling out of the Indy 500 because it would be "inappropriate" for him to participate given that he "may be announcing shortly his intention" to run for president. And maybe that's true. Or maybe it's not. Or maybe it's just a way to juice ratings for "Celebrity Apprentice."
What we know is this: Trump still hasn't released his driver's license. Or his drivers' ed records, which we also demanded. We heard he wasn't a very good student. From somebody. Doesn't matter who. What matters is this: very soon, Trump may be attempting to land the only job in America in which the occupant not only does not have to drive his or herself anywhere, but literally is not allowed to.
Isn't that strange?
Doesn't that make you wonder?
Do we know what is Donald Trump hiding?
Speaking of hiding: We'd like to take a look at the transcripts of Trump's reported discussions to pull out of the Indy 500. And see any relevant emails. We hope it's true, so that we can get on to much more important matters, like evaluating Meatloaf's entrepreneurial acumen and corporate leadership skills vis-a-vis Gary Busey. In fact, Trump should have reneged a long time ago. It's rather amazing that all of the sudden he does so. We hope it's the real deal.
But we'd really like confirmation. Because it would give us one more reason to be proud of ourselves. And honored. Don't forget that."
Patrick Hruby is a freelance writer and ESPN.com contributor. Contact him at PatrickHruby.net.