Commentary

World Cup of Beer: The championship

Originally Published: June 18, 2010
By Shane Igoe | Special to Page 2

Page 2 Top (World Cup of Beer)Getty Images

So now we enter the final few stages of Page 2's 2010 World Cup of Beer. After taking a week to review each of the groups (Group A, Group B + C, Group D + E, Group F, Group G + H) and setting up a 16-beer knockout stage, we are ready to run our contest down to a single, standout beer.

Who will raise the sacred cup in Page 2's 2010 World Cup of Beer? Find out below. Remember to toast (or roast) our final picks in the comment section.


Beer Bracket Round of Eight -- Quarterfinals


Dos Equis
Moctezuma

Yuengling
Yuengling & Son

MATCH No. 1

Competitors: MEXICO (Dos Equis) vs. UNITED STATES (Yuengling)

The skinny: North American Grudge Match

Notes: It wasn't too long ago when the U.S. faced its neighbor to the north in an Olympic gold-medal hockey game and President Obama bet a case of golden lager from a certain brewery. This time the U.S. proves its mettle by defeating its North American neighbor to the south.

Winner: UNITED STATES (Yuengling)


Heineken
Heineken

Super Bock
Unicer Brewery

MATCH No. 2

Competitors: NETHERLANDS (Heineken) vs. PORTUGAL (Super Bock)

The skinny: Battle of the "Heineys" (Heineken vs. Kim Kardashian's Derriere)

Notes: (As we mentioned earlier, Portugal's star player Cristiano Ronaldo is reportedly kicking it with Kim Kardashian.) We can't help but wonder which is more well-rounded , the reportedly rounder World Cup ball, Kim's renowned rounded booty, or the well-rounded taste of a Super Bock? Either way, Heineken has left us feeling flat.

Winner: PORTUGAL (Super Bock)


Boddingtons
InBev

Guinness Foreign Extra Stout
Diageo PLC

MATCH No. 3

Competitors: ENGLAND (Boddingtons) vs. NIGERIA (Guinness Foreign Extra Stout)

The skinny: Battle of the British Empire vs. its former colony / protectorate

Notes: Boddingtons gets off to a great start, but oh no ... Green drops it again? (In this case a Boddingtons bottle.) Talk about a bitter defeat.

Winner: NIGERIA (Guinness Foreign Extra Stout)


Moretti
Heineken Intl

Kunstmann
Kunstmann SA

MATCH No. 4

Competitors: ITALY (Moretti) vs. CHILE (Kunstmann)

The skinny: Sad Shakeout

Notes: As much as we love the taste of Kunstmann and enjoy hearing uplifting stories of survival surrounding the Chilean earthquake, Moretti moves on (and let's face it, Italy has had to move on from its own share of earthquake tragedies as well).

Winner: ITALY (Moretti)



Beer Bracket Round of Four -- Semifinals


Yuengling
Yuengling & Son

Super Bock
Unicer Brewery

MATCH No. 1

Competitors: UNITED STATES (Yuengling) vs. PORTUGAL (Super Bock)

The skinny: Kim Kardashian pledges allegiance to whom?

Notes: Who knows whom Kim will ultimately choose? That being said, we have already made our choice.

Who Advances: UNITED STATES (Yuengling)


Guinness Foreign Extra Stout
Diageo PLC

Moretti
Heineken Intl

MATCH No. 2

Competitors: NIGERIA (Guinness Foreign Extra Stout) vs. ITALY (Moretti)

The skinny: Battle of the Stout Defense

Notes: The Italians are know for their stout D, while Nigerians are know for their stout G(uinness). But the 7.5 percent ABV from Nigeria is just too strong and overpowers the Azzurri.

Winner: NIGERIA (Guinness Foreign Extra Stout)



Moretti
Heineken Intl

Super Bock
Unicer Brewery

CONSOLATION FINAL

Competitors: ITALY (Moretti) vs. PORTUGAL (Super Bock)

The skinny: Italian Peninsula vs. Iberian Peninsula (or Battle of the Jersey Shore)

Notes: Moretti pulls out the big guns and scores major points by coming up with this. (How about sporting that football at the beach this summer?) Super Bock talks a big game, but in the end its chant was developed by outsiders, not to mention it doesn't even rhyme.

THIRD PLACE: ITALY (Moretti), and PORTUGAL (Super Bock) has to settle for fourth, like in the 2006 World Cup.


Yuengling
Yuengling & Son

Guinness Foreign Extra Stout
Diageo PLC

FINAL

Competitors: UNITED STATES (Yuengling) vs. NIGERIA (Guinness Foreign Extra Stout)

The skinny: PAGE 2 WORLD CUP OF BEER TITLE

Notes: It is intimidating to take on a country that sells more beer than Ireland itself, but the upstart Americans seem to be up to the task. We have gone back and forth on this, and as much as we would like to crown a champion hailing from the host World Cup continent … we have to go with our gut … and that gut has been largely formed by the likes of …

CHAMPION: UNITED STATES (Yuengling)



Click here to see the Page 2 World Cup of Beer breakdown of Group A

Click here to see the Page 2 World Cup of Beer breakdown of Groups B and C

Click here to see the Page 2 World Cup of Beer breakdown of Groups D and E

Click here to see the Page 2 World Cup of Beer breakdown of Group F

Click here to see the Page 2 World Cup of Beer breakdown of Groups G and H

Click here to see the World Cup of Beer knockout stage results

Shane Igoe is a sports and entertainment writer based in Los Angeles. He can be reached via his Twitter page.


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