Can I kick it? (Yes you can.)
Can I kick it? (Yes you can.)
Can I kick it? (Yes you can.)

Check this out.

Too much Patriots a-- kissin'/Too many media members on a mission/to hold down you and the team's elevated position/Coach/Genius/Mastermind/way too kind/Now there's suspicion/of football's greatest vision-ary/SI cover, "Scary"/Gave reason/to question/doubt/all that they are about/Got assistants taping the other team's plays/secretly documenting pass routes/What happened to your clout?/Video bandit/caught red, white and blue-handed/Took you for granted/Now that you've screwed us/we couldn't understand it/You're the type of guy it now seems/will stoop that low for a ring/In your cut-off sweatshirts and jeans/Hope none of your "employees" sings/like Michael Vick's crew/Begin the question who's true/Ride or die in Pats blue/This couldn't be happenin'?/Not to America's Team/Not to you.

What was on your mind?/Another Super Bowl, or simply having the advantage?/Another situation you had to micromanage/The fine, heavy/like Katrina on a levee/Five hundred thou/but still they allow/you to remain the prima donna of your craft/even though Robert Kraft/lost a quarter mill and a pick or two in the draft/laugh/punishment that doesn't equate the crime/You should have so much trouble on your mind/We could call you PE/No, you're NE/Heartbreak and clam chowder all day/Last week the Jets, first it was Green Bay/on any given Sunday/or with Tirico on Monday/The ol' "interpretation of the rules" defense won't play/but as the old folks say/"Use what you got to get what you want"/ya heard, bay-bay?/Next time don't get caught, busted or have to apologize/or make Goodell realize/that asterisks/need to go after those chips/Because that would eclipse/all that you and the organization have done/since your reign begun/Rock the bells/un-rung/Heroes?/No longer unsung.

Let's get this straight/Let's see/You gamble with the rep of a dynasty?/Football, lies and videotape/confiscate/James Spader/Oscar-nominate/The League?/Further investigate/Football's Barry Bonds/same initials/The press should blow the whistle/like an official/Come off like diamonds when you're really crystal/What happened, Billy?/Thought we knew thee?/Thought you were the anti-Raider/stealing Randy Moss/Couldn't afford the loss/His scheme/on green/looking at jumbo screens/The perfect player for your dreams/Using AYO technology to make a difference/figure out the other team's defense/Got the skills/but not the common sense/to not get exposed or made an example/Used like a sample/Will fall for anything if you don't stand for something/The preamble/"Hear ye, hear ye"/"Here we have.../Hear the cries in Foxborough, on your behave/Thought you were regal/Now who needs "Boston Legal"?/Now all we can do is be like Michael Jackson and remember the times/Belichick and Donaghy, collar-white crimes.

Can I kick it? (Yes you can.)
Can I kick it? (Yes you can.)
Can I kick it? (Maybe.)

Another black eye in sports/Above the game, but still resort/to things we'd expect the Lions to do/because unlike you/they don't have a chance/to advance/or win games consistent/Only one other team has a QB heaven-sent/But for you and yours that wasn't enough/wasn't sufficient/wouldn't suffice/too arrogant to play nice/Heed this advice/use another device/You had the game tight, played the game right/Right?/Wrong!/Had us all fooled/Thought you balled by the rules/Had to get your Wall Street cred up?/Had to be corrupt?/But Rupert Murdoch's nowhere to be found/on higher ground/You're the reason (in your mind) the football world goes 'round/Lombardi/Madden/Walsh/The chosen few/then you/with rings of rocks and jerseys of blue/Who knew?/LT II/He called it from the get/made everyone upset/No one wanted to hear/Thought he was hatin'/not insinuatin'/Media treated him like he was Leon Lett/Belichick, as in chick with a belly/Oh, my bad, that would be backwards/Better track words/so not to retract words/Conscience no longer your guide/Unconscious to NFL laws written/straight unwilling to abide/Forget God, in Bill Parcells you must confide.

They say it's not a crime if everyone is doing the same/They say, "You're not trying to really win, if you don't cheat the game"/HGH?/Video tape?/Which one carries the most weight?/Wait/Both create/unfair advantages/One an upper hand, the other just an upper/Who's the real sucker?/You for getting caught?/Or us for believing that the playing field is level?/Now who's the devil?/Once caught, impossible to beat/ But 'cause it's you and the beloved Patriots/in a few weeks, millions will forget/or act like they forgot/Brady-to-Moss/forget them not/You'll be excused, then forgiven/The NFL'll keep on livin'/More serious things, we will be reminded/More players, more strip clubs, more guns/The classic "wag the dog" tactic/We'll be blinded/Fake as a Paris Hilton autograph if Perez signed it.

So what are we to do with you?/Not knowing what's false and what's true?/Who stole football's soul?/An American gangster/but it ain't Russell Crowe/It's the best coach in the NFL/Smartest man in the game/or so we once believed/Now deceived/bereaved/as if someone died and we had to take off work/Re-evaluate your smirk/The one we thought that only knowledge laid beneath/that now belongs to a petty thief/Played us all like peanuts/Charlie Brown/Good grief/But there is relief/Only if you stop acting like Commander-in-Chief/All Hail, no more/Count this as a blessin'/Hope you learned a lesson/And in case you didn't catch it/the "Q" in the title is plural for question/Drop the expression/Scream "Geronimo!" like your last name was Pratt/Acknowledge that/just because Thomas Friedman wrote it/the world ain't flat/But now your world is/crushed/as if Tedy Bruschi hit it/Stretched out/coffin-fitted/But you'll be OK/From this you'll survive/then thrive/forever alive/then reply/"Belichicks don't die" ... you just multi-lie.

Scoop Jackson is a columnist for Page 2 and a contributor to ESPN The Magazine. Sound off to Scoop here.