NBA All-Star Weekend party guide
Welcome to All-Star Weekend, when people spend hundreds of dollars to celebrate a game they have no intention of watching. The weekend is about parties, and heavy snow in Dallas might mean folks should get all the partying in they can, because the Apocalypse may be near.
With that said, Page 2 presents its guide to the parties of NBA All-Star Weekend:
The All-Star Celebrity Experience
Where: AM/PM Lounge
Who: LeBron James and Drake
What Page 2 Thinks: Here's how to recognize Drake -- he'll be the only person in Dallas complaining about the heat.
Welcome to Dallas Party
Where: Aloft Hotel
Who: "Terrell Owens and Friends"
What Page 2 Thinks: In one season of "The T.O. Show," T.O. hung out with three people, 67 percent of whom were annoying. Ixnay.
The Good Life All-Star Party and Concert
Where: House of Blues
Who: Rapper Doug E. Fresh, DJ Jazzy Jeff and saxophonist Mike Phillips
What Page 2 Thinks: For those who braved the elements to get to Dallas, only to feel a little arthritic in the crowds.
Diddy Does Dallas
Where: Palladium Ballroom
Who: Diddy, Josh Howard and Greg Buckner
What Page 2 Thinks: At "Diddy Does Dallas," Buckner is the Joey Bishop of this Rat Pack.
The All-Star Ultimate Ladies Night
Where: Starlight Room
Who: Vince Young, Biz Markie, Taraji Henson, Brian McKnight
What Page 2 Thinks: Fraud Alert No. 1 -- did someone clone the Biz? Not only is he on flyers for this "Ladies Night," he's listed as DJ for another one the same night, and two more parties Saturday.
Trey Songz, Young Jeezy & Friends
Who: Trey Songz, Young Jeezy
What Page 2 Thinks: Fraud Alert No. 2 -- for Thursday night, Kindal's had a flyer saying "Majic Johnson" would be in the house. If an Asian rapper named G.Z. Yeung takes the stage, don't say we didn't warn you.
Star Studded Hit Em With The Flex Friday
Where: Kenichi Bar and Lounge
Who: NFL players Kenny Wright, Javon Walker, Kelley Washington, Rashard Kent, Lawrence Vickers
What Page 2 Thinks: Also expected, but not listed on the flyer: Joe Schmoe, John Q. Public and underground rap sensation Whatshisname.
For the Love of All-Star
Who: Ray J.
What Page 2 Thinks: "For the Love of All-Star" is so exclusive, Reggie Bush probably won't be able to get in.
The All Star A-List Celebrity Party
Who: Jermain Taylor and Darren McFadden
What Page 2 Thinks: Arkansas is in the house! When McFadden was in college, he injured his toe in a fight in flip-flops outside a club. Err on the side of casual.
All-Star Clash of the Titans, NBA vs. NFL
Where: Union Station
Who: Allen Iverson and Michael Vick
What Page 2 Thinks: Could be bad news at "The All-Star Clash of the Titans." What about "vs." says "par-tay"?
Private All-Star Jet Hangar Party
Where: Love Field
Who: Mary J. Blige and Common
What Page 2 Thinks: I'd think the last place anyone in Dallas would want to be this weekend is back at an airport.
Best of Both Worlds All-Star Celebrity Gala
Who: Kobe Bryant, Vince Young, Shannon Brown, Chris Johnson, Mya
What Page 2 Thinks: Wilt Chamberlain is more likely to show up at this party than Kobe Bryant.
A Night in the Hamptons
Where: Starlight Room
Who: Per the flyer: Russell Simmons, "Carmello Anthony" and "Kenny 'TNT' Smith"
What Page 2 Thinks: Rumor has it "A Night in the Hamptons" is still waiting on confirmation from "Shug" Knight, Bobby "Bravo" Brown and "Dwayne" Wade.
All Black Everything
Who: Many NBA stars, plus birthday boy "Former European Basketball Superstar Big Mike."
What Page 2 Thinks: Big Mike, who appears to double as a party promoter, obviously needs no introduction. But what about advertised guests "Nick Van Excel," "Daniel Gipson" and "Rarshard Lewis?" Surprisingly, Google turned up nothing.
All-Star Weekend "One Night Stand" Valentine's Day Finale
Where: The Bank
Who: Those that missed their flights, et al
What Page 2 Thinks: Guess Cupid will be shooting one arrow at a time at "All Star Weekend One Night Stand Valentine's Day Finale." Enjoy that last night in Big D!