Single page view By Tim Keown
Page 2

Anyone else get the feeling Marcus Vick is on his way to becoming a weeklong special on "The Abrams Report"?

He goes from a traffic arrest to stomping on an opponent to being kicked out of school to saying, "It's not a big deal. I'll just move to the next level, baby," to being arrested for allegedly pulling a gun on three people in a McDonald's parking lot.

If nothing else, Vick and Maurice Clarett proved one point: Vince McMahon was simply ahead of his time.

At least Vick took some heat off of Bode Miller, who was in danger of becoming the rebel athlete of the week for his "60 Minutes" comments about skiing under the influence.

The best part of the Miller episode came when the CEO of the United States Ski and Snowboard Association suggested that Miller's comments might be damaging to the image of the sport.

Understand the magnitude of this: The head of the skiing and snowboarding association is wondering whether a guy who admits to staying up all night partying with his friends is harming the image of a sport that is basically all about staying up all night partying with your friends.

Next up: The CEO of spring break wonders whether that guy hanging out of the passenger-side window is ruining the image of South Padre Island.

This Week's List
•: No offense to anybody involved, but just for the sake of the nation, this is the best news we could have hoped to receive: There will be no Manning vs. Manning Super Bowl.

•: Speaking of no offense: Eli and the Giants, 132 total yards.

•: The worst part is, his comment gave another few hundred sports-talk hosts the opportunity to say "thrown under the bus" for the 1,120th straight day: Tiki Barber, while not excusing himself and his teammates, made it clear he thought Tom Coughlin and staff were outcoached by John Fox and the Panthers.

•: If there's any chance for a return to relevance: The Raiders should move up in the draft to get Vince Young.

•: This is just me talking crazy, but I don't think JoePa's going to hand in his resignation letter anytime soon: The Pennsylvania chapter of NOW is asking for Joe Paterno to resign because of his comments about Florida State linebacker A.J. Nicholson, who is accused of sexual assault.

•: Aside from "thrown under the bus," this might be the most overused and improperly used phrase of our time: In response to NOW's demands, Penn State issued a statement saying that Paterno's comments were "taken out of context," when in reality they were stupid and ill-advised, even though it's not something he should lose his job over.

•: And to save all of the Johnny Grammars out there the time and effort, I'll say it myself: That sentence up there is what the pros call a run-on.

•: First hint that Penn State and the Orange Bowl people knew Paterno's comments didn't need to be "taken out of context" to be considered completely out of line: In the quote sheets provided to the media, Paterno's response to the question was relayed with the following lie -- "I prefer not to comment on the situation out of courtesy. Florida State has people waiting to step up and play."

Continued...


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