Then again: Maybe the Seahawks are right.

Even if you ignore the grammatical hatchet wielding, this description of a Pro Bowl quarterback seems unnecessary and ignorant: According to a prominent East Coast NFL columnist, Hasselbeck is "another in the long list of anonymous backups to Favre when he basically just occupied a roster spot with the Packers."

The first must-read of Super Bowl week: Michael Rosenberg's column in Monday's Detroit Free-Press, offering a guide for sportswriters intent on ripping his city.

An obvious question that needs to be asked on GP: Just wondering how many of the working-class people who actually built the stadium that made the Super Bowl in Detroit possible -- i.e., the taxpayers of Detroit -- will be attending the game Sunday?

And they say the NBA has no comparable "Moneyball" general manager: In the increasingly famous sexual harassment lawsuit, it is alleged that Isiah Thomas tried to get more Sunday noon games so he could implement his plan of directing visiting teams to strip clubs the night before.

I guess that's one team Isiah can't influence: Jeff Van Gundy, disgusted with his team's poor home performance, attempted to simulate road conditions by locking the players' lounge and feeding the team cold sandwiches.

Fashion statement: People upset about Adam Morrison's mustache/hair combo are only encouraging him.

And the question is, did somebody actually ask? Early last week, I received an e-mail from a public relations firm touting a "digestologist" (or something like that) who is ready to explain, "Why Super Bowl Fans Stink."

If you're interested, I can pass along the number: The e-mail in question included the following: "Flatulence, stomach pain, bloating, heartburn, indigestion, and growling guts are all conditions that can be end-run by fans with a good Super Bowl party defense. … Interview Bill Downs, one of the world's foremost experts on diet and digestion, and find out how football fans can avoid gassing out their guests at this year's Super Bowl party."

And finally: Anyone else getting the feeling Brett Favre is taking retirement lessons from Roger Clemens?

Tim Keown is a senior writer for ESPN The Magazine.



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