Now that it's World Series time, Red Sox versus Rockies, there's only one thing we can say with any shred of certainty:
That Schilling, he sure loves him some Schilling, doesn't he?
Beyond that, does anybody even remember the Rockies? Young guys, don't really lose (a good thing), play hard, appear to get along pretty well.
They're major underdogs, those Rockies, because the Red Sox have all the established names and several well-known starting pitchers and Manny being Papi and a bullpen that drums on shin guards as well as the roof of the bullpen.
That part's pretty cool, actually.
Of course, it would have been nice to see the Indians make the World Series, if only to watch Paul Byrd try to squirm and explain and contort himself well enough to keep his image intact. I speak to kids, he says. I have a reputation. I'm a devout Christian about to release a book that discusses all the un-Christian things that go on in baseball outside the immediate purview of one Paul Byrd (to be fair to Byrd, he acknowledges his struggles with pornography and the temptations to cheat to get ahead).
Forget picking a Series winner. Let's try to pick the next PED user to be the target of a newspaper revelation. There's been an eerie, CSI-worthy pattern to the leakage of names, especially when it comes to HGH: Gary Matthews Jr., during his first spring training after signing a big contract with the Angels, Rick Ankiel when he was riding high, Byrd during the ALCS.
It's probably best not to speculate -- the lawyers hate that -- but there's a good chance a few World Series participants are promising to be good for a long, long time if they can just make it through the next 10 days without needing a news conference.
This Week's List
• You mean we missed the 1994 World Series and Donald Fehr didn't even work out a reasonable prescription co-pay?: If Byrd was really up front with his team and MLB about his HGH use (MLB disputed this to the New York Daily News, by the way) and he acquired it with a legitimate prescription, why did he pay full retail?
• Hey, his teeth just weren't growing at a normal rate, either: Another question for Byrd -- if everything was on the up-and-up, why did you resort to getting two of your prescriptions written by a Florida dentist who was eventually suspended for fraud and incompetence?
• I'm shocked she didn't rip him: Jeanne Zelasko opened Sunday's Fox telecast by telling us how "gracefully" Byrd has handled the controversy.
• Actually, Paul, privacy died the minute we looked at the paper on Sunday morning: Asked by Fox on Sunday if he was still taking HGH, Byrd said no; when asked later in a pregame press conference, Byrd said, "That's a private matter right now with me."
• Here's a whole new paradigm: Let's start breaking stories on major league pitchers who haven't used HGH.
• Geez, who would have thought that might happen?: The Rockies attempted to sell all their World Series tickets online, but the server went down under the weight of all the requests.
• As you watch the Patriots right now, consider this: New England owns the rights to the 49ers' 2008 first-round pick, and if you've watched the 49ers lately you know the potential that holds.
• The Patriots would like to reserve the right to be the sole profiteers of scalped tickets for Patriots games: As a result of the team's lawsuit, online ticket reseller StubHub was forced to turn over the names of Patriots ticket holders who sold tickets through its service.
• So, in other words: Even though he lost his own team's No. 1 pick because of cheating, Belichick wins again!
• See what happens when you don't care about personal-foul penalties?: Dennis Erickson, in his first year at Arizona State, has the Sun Devils undefeated and ranked seventh.
• However, in this season of no sure things, here's the Sun Devils' schedule for the next four weeks: Cal, UCLA, USC and Oregon.
• Attention, ladies and gentlemen, we are here to announce a new King of Innuendo: A week after making comments about Troy Aikman's personal life, Redskins receiver Brandon Lloyd went back on his D.C. radio show and criticized the team's beat writers -- "and I use that term with every innuendo possible," he said -- for not calling out Joe Gibbs for his play-calling.
• Oh, and this minor detail: After each of the past two games, Lloyd has left the Redskins' locker room before the writers were allowed into the room.
• Not to be too derogatory to kickers -- Skip Bayless owns that beat -- but if this guy isn't keeping track of the number of field goals he has during a game, what the hell else is he doing?: Titans kicker Rob Bironas, who kicked a record eight field goals Sunday, said, "I wasn't really thinking about how many," but when someone told him he had five at halftime he started paying attention.
• And finally: When is Dane Cook guest-starring on "Frank TV"?
Tim Keown is a senior writer for ESPN The Magazine. Sound off to Tim here.