As diversionary tactics go, Patriots-Colts was nothing short of genius. It couldn't have come at a better time for the NFL, and everybody played along -- the media created the whole Super Bowl XLI½ deal, the people at home dutifully watched, and the teams played well enough to make everybody hope it happens again.

More important, it made everyone forget, at least temporarily, what a dreadful league this is. There are so many truly horrendous teams trolling the land that something miraculous has happened: By default, some dismal teams have been repackaged as good teams.

Take a look at the NFC West standings. The Seahawks are leading the division at 4-4. There is nothing to recommend this team as anything other than a mediocre, inconsistent group that benefits from a division that contains two dreadful teams, the Rams and the 49ers.

Seattle bona fides? It's the only NFC West team that has lost fewer than three games in a row. But one of those teams, probably the ultimately 8-8 Seahawks, will make the playoffs.

This isn't an isolated problem. The level of play in the AFC West is typified by the Broncos, who have allowed nearly twice as many points as they have scored but are sitting at 3-5, one game off the lead.

Tampa Bay is not a good team, and it's hard to imagine anyone outside of the Tampa-St. Pete making a point not to miss the Bucs' games. But they're 5-4, leading the NFC South, and a look at their schedule -- Atlanta twice, Houston -- indicates they'll win five of their final seven games and finish 10-6.

The offense is led by a 37-year-old quarterback (Jeff Garcia) who can't throw the ball farther than 30 yards, and a running back (Earnest Graham) who came into the season with 215 yards over his last three years.

The heartwarming little stories? Check the shelf life. The Lions have done their part to rejuvenate the franchise, but they're just as likely to give up 56 to a below-average Eagles team as to rout the Broncos. And look at the rest of the schedule -- the Packers twice, Dallas, the Giants, San Diego. That 6-2 record could easily end up being 9-7, and in the end Jon Kitna's preseason guarantee of 10 wins will prove to be overly optimistic.

It's my contention that 13 teams are currently unwatchable. They are awful, dead-carp-on-the-shore putrid. Living in the Bay Area, subjected to the weekly gruel of the Raiders and 49ers -- test patterns with punts -- leaves me in a particularly advantageous position when it comes to judging unwatchability.

Here are the Unwatchable 13:

Raiders
49ers
Rams
Eagles
Bears
Falcons
Cardinals
Jets
Dolphins
Bengals
Texans
Broncos
Chiefs

The next tier of teams consists of those with just enough redeeming qualities -- for instance, a young star such as Adrian Peterson or Marshawn Lynch -- to merit the occasional longer look:

Panthers*
Bills
Ravens*
Seahawks
Vikings
Jaguars
Chargers
Bucs
Redskins*
Browns
Saints

* Team could drop into the unwatchable category at a moment's notice.

The next tier consists of solid, better-than-average teams with the intermittent ability to fool us into thinking they could contend with the likes of the Colts and Patriots:

Titans
Giants*
Steelers
Lions**

*Team could elevate itself into the elite group, but there's something keeping us from committing at this point.

**Lions have the potential to drop two tiers, back to their traditionally unwatchable status, despite everything.

The four remaining teams will play off to decide the AFC and NFC titles:

Colts
Patriots
Packers
Cowboys

Lucky for the NFL, these teams fulfill all the requirements for keeping alive the myth of the league's infallibility -- marketable quarterbacks, history and just enough sociopathic elements to make the kids want to stay up and watch.

This Week's List

• Apparently the mystery of why Bill Belichick greeted Tony Dungy with a weird drive-by handshake after the game is solved: First, the Patriots thought the Colts injected artificial noise into the sound system at the RCA Dome, and; 2) the Patriots didn't have an operational coach-to-quarterback communication system.

• Then again, it could have been because Dungy's team didn't give him a chance to run up the score: It's not like Belichick needed any of that to snub someone, but context is always welcome.

• Maybe he figured it would be more fun to share a chuckle and raise a glass over the craziness of allowing 10 straight touchdowns in a private booth back in Lincoln: An Omaha television station made a point of showing Nebraska coach Bill Callahan apparently snubbing interim AD and full-time legend Tom Osborne as Callahan walked off the field after Saturday's 76-39 loss to Kansas.

• Appalachian State lives! Grand Valley State defeated Michigan State in an exhibition basketball game.

• "Hey, Roger, can you fax me over the script so I can take a look at it?": Andy Pettitte, unsure whether he wants to pitch next season, declined a $16 million option with the Yankees.

• Proof that summer workouts are overrated: Oregon quarterback Dennis Dixon, who caused hand-wringing throughout Eugene when he played minor-league baseball last summer instead of staying on campus to work out with the Ducks.

• Rarely does a sentence explain so many things on so many levels with so few words: A wire service story in the aftermath of Notre Dame's loss to Navy included the following sentence -- "Weis, whose contract runs through 2015, said Sunday he's not worried."

• No wonder we lose sight of the ball during those play-action passes: Not to say that anybody got caught up in the hyperbole of the Colts-Pats game, but I read a game story that included the line, "Tom Brady added to his cleft-chinned legend as he led his 9-0 Patriots ..."

• And finally, just for fun: Reread those words with the sound of John Facenda's voice running through your head.

Tim Keown is a senior writer for ESPN The Magazine. Sound off to Tim here.