In most cases, we've become a homogenous nation. Regional differences have dissolved in the stew of mass-market/chain-store/media-monopoly culture. Kids in rural Kentucky listen to the same music as kids in Chicago. People in Louisiana shop at the same stores as people in Seattle. We have our accents and our idiosyncrasies -- I grew up thinking there was nothing wrong or unhealthy with putting mayonnaise on scrambled eggs -- but for the most part, Wal-Mart won.

There is an exception, though, and you'll be happy to know it takes us back to sports. When it comes to college football, our national divisions are obvious. There is the South, and there is everywhere else.

Consider this:

AUBURN, Ala. (AP) -- Tommy Tuberville's mother told a newspaper her son was fired as Auburn's football coach, a claim that runs counter to public statements by the university that Tuberville left on his own.

Where do you start with this one? There are many issues to discuss here, even those beyond the blissful visions of the upcoming Christmas festivities in the Tuberville household -- providing, of course, that Tommy and Olive will be back on speaking terms by then.

But you might overlook the most important aspect of Tommy's Helicopter Parent moment. It has nothing to do with a 54-year-old man picking up the morning paper to find his mother overparenting in a way usually reserved for Drew Rosenhaus or Marv Marinovich.

(Maybe the "Tommy" instead of Tom or Thomas should have been a clue. Then again, it's a Southern thing.)

The most amazing part of the Tuberville/Mrs. Tuberville story is this: A newspaper reporter in Alabama -- the Opelika-Auburn News, for those of you who don't subscribe -- faced with finding the truth of Tuberville's departure, actually tracked down the mother of a 54-year-old in an attempt to nail down the details of the coach's departure.

In any other part of the country, no reporter would even think to interview the mother of a 54-year-old coach who was either recently fired or recently released himself on his own recognizance. It just wouldn't occur to them. They would call assistant coaches and former players and the athletic director and leave it at that. They wouldn't sit down with an old woman whose son was facing his big moment of failure to see whether she knew more than he was letting on.

It would seem … I don't know … creepy is the word that keeps coming to mind.

It shouldn't be a surprise, though, since there's a complete lack of perspective in the SEC. Where else could Sylvester Croom go from being coach of the year to resigning in less than 12 months? And who are the people who expect consistent and unyielding success every year in Starkville? It's the Pullman of the South, with one big difference: In Pullman, Washington State coaches understand the difficulties in recruiting against schools in California and Arizona. In Starkville, they must figure a guy who gets coach of the year in the SEC one year should logically become coach of the year for the whole nation the next.

Or do people in the South consider that the same thing?

Back to Tuberville for a moment: There's clearly a disconnect between the university's version and Olive Tuberville's. You do what you want, but I'm going with Olive.

This Week's List

• And so, if you want to make a little extra money, buy some potassium pills in bulk and set yourself up as a vendor in Oklahoma City: Fans of the NBA's Thunder stay standing at the beginning of every game until the home team scores a basket, and there's a good chance severe cramping will be a factor more than once.

• Those OKC folks, they're nothing if not realists: After close to three minutes of Monday night's loss to the woeful Warriors, the fans decided to call it good and sit down after a Thunder free throw.

• Best non-apology of the year: The Celtics' Glen Davis, who said he was neither embarrassed by nor remorseful for his tearful breakdown on the bench last week after Kevin Garnett ripped the team's reserves for their performance in a win over Portland.

• Apparently the RC/TC boys never saw "Benny Hill": British-born Rhys Lloyd, the Panthers' mostly round kicker, has a Wikipedia page that notes his nickname was "Winston Churchill" during his two years at Rochester Community and Technical College in Minnesota.

• Clearly, this should serve as some sort of uber-tiebreaker when it comes to deciding playoff teams: The Jets have lost to both the Raiders and the 49ers this year.

• Now, as a change of pace, we go so far inside the huddle your only hope for escape is through an earhole: This season, more than any other, has seen an increase in NFL coaches' stubbornly relying exclusively on the pass when they get inside the red zone.

• The result? Strategy that makes it too easy on the defense, and leads to far too many field goals.

• Next in line for a federal bailout: The Packers' defense, which gave up 549 yards to the Texans on Sunday.

• And finally, for those of you fixated on the pointless argument over the BCS versus Playoff, ponder this: If Missouri had just had the good grace to bow out of the Big 12 title game in favor of Texas, we could have been given a four-team mini-playoff (Alabama-Florida, Texas-Oklahoma) and the only people left to scream and yell would have been USC, Texas Tech, Utah, Penn State and Boise State.

ESPN The Magazine senior writer Tim Keown co-wrote Josh Hamilton's autobiography, "Beyond Belief: Finding the Strength to Come Back," which is available now on Amazon.com. Sound off to Tim here.